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161 " He had a body like batman "
― Janet Evanovich , Explosive Eighteen (Stephanie Plum, #18)
162 " I don't know much about cars," Joyce said, "but I think someone took my engine. "
― Janet Evanovich , Lean Mean Thirteen (Stephanie Plum, #13)
163 " My mother drove back to the intersection. "Who are you dating?" "Don't ask," I said. I wasn't dating anyone. I was fornicating with Batman. "
― Janet Evanovich , Hard Eight (Stephanie Plum, #8)
164 " Cracker Jacks don't count as junk food because they're corn and peanuts, which we know to be high in nutrition. And they have a prize inside. "
165 " Ranger’s gonna hate this,” Tank said. “Better to get shot than to have to explain the gate. Bad enough I got a horse that smells like his shower gel. "
― Janet Evanovich , Plum Spooky (Stephanie Plum, #14.5)
166 " That's one of the things I like about Mary Lou. She's willing to believe the worst about anyone. "
― Janet Evanovich , High Five (Stephanie Plum, #5)
167 " And when I was in the trunk, I saw Jesus. And the Virgin Mary. And Ozzy Osbourne. "
― Janet Evanovich , Motor Mouth (Alex Barnaby #2)
168 " There are some men who enter a woman's life and screw it up forever. "
― Janet Evanovich , One for the Money (Stephanie Plum, #1)
169 " My father was in the kitchen putting a new washer in the kitchen faucet. He looked relieved to see Morelli standing in the hallway. He'd probably prefer I bring home someone useful, like a butcher or a car mechanic, but I guess cops are a step up from undertakers. "
― Janet Evanovich , Two for the Dough (Stephanie Plum, #2)
170 " It wasn't exactly that Lula was fat. It was more that she was too short for her weight." - Stephanie Plum "
171 " I can give you a better 'and then'," Ranger said. "
― Janet Evanovich , Notorious Nineteen (Stephanie Plum, #19)
172 " ...life is a jelly donut. You don't really know what it's about till you bite into it. And then, just when you decide it's good, you drop a big glob of jelly on your best t-shirt. "
― Janet Evanovich , Ten Big Ones (Stephanie Plum, #10)
173 " Hey," Lula said to Ranger's man."You want to watch it? I just had my hair done. I don't need plaster in it. Next time just shoot a hole is this punk-ass loser, will you? "
174 " Babe!” Ranger shouted from the bathroom. “Come get your grandmother.” Ranger was standing in the glass-enclosed shower with the door open, looking out at Grandma. He was dripping wet and seemed not especially concerned that he was naked. “It’s like she’s paralyzed,” he said. “Amazing,” Grandma said, eyes wide, staring in unblinking stupefaction. I yanked Grandma out and closed the bathroom door. “It was mesmerizing,” Grandma said. “It was like staring into the eye of a cobra. I don’t care if I do anything else on the bucket list. This was awesome. It was like a biblical experience. "
― Janet Evanovich , Top Secret Twenty-One (Stephanie Plum, #21)
175 " As Stephanie and Lula were going after the bad guys, Lula was making preparations from the trunk of her Firebird. Stephanie looked inside and stopped breathing for a beat. "That's a rocket launcher!" "Yep," Lula said. "It's a big boy. I got it at a yard sale in the projects. "
176 " You ever get any death threats? How about ex-husbands or ex-boyfriends? You run over anyone recently?” ~ Morelli "
177 " Grandma was wearing a blond Marilyn Monroe wig, a hot pink tank top, black Pilates pants, and black kitten heels. She looked like the senior version of an inflatable sex toy doll that needed more air. "
178 " I exchanged my flannel shirt for a Rangers jersey and zapped the television on. Probably I should make more phone calls, but the Rangers were playing and priorities were priorities. "
― Janet Evanovich , Three to Get Deadly (Stephanie Plum, #3)
179 " Turns out, that's how it is with weddings. You just keep getting in deeper and deeper until you want to throw up. "
― Janet Evanovich , Fearless Fourteen (Stephanie Plum, #14)
180 " Shirley's gonna be pissed," Gazarra said. "She hates when I get shot." To my recollection, the only other time Gazarra was shot was when he was playing quick draw in the police station elevator and his gun accidentally discharged. The bullet ricocheted off the elevator wall and lodged in Gazarra's right buttock. "