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61 " Are you laughing? I can feel you laughing. My life isn’t funny!” “Babe, your life should be a prime-time sitcom. "
― Janet Evanovich , Hard Eight (Stephanie Plum, #8)
62 " Girl, you could use those gift cards! "
― Janet Evanovich , Smokin' Seventeen (Stephanie Plum, #17)
63 " Are you hungry?” Grandma asked me. “Do you need breakfast?” “I’m famished! "
64 " You could always count on melted cheese to have a calming effect. "
― Janet Evanovich , Hardcore Twenty-Four (Stephanie Plum, #24)
65 " Okay, but who knows what happens at night? They could come alive like the zombies.” I turned the corner and drove to my parents’ house. “You need cake.” “Hell, yeah. "
66 " I sent Hal and Rafael to keep an eye on you, and I went to check on a commercial account in Whitehorse. Rafael called to tell me Lula went in with a rocket launcher, so I skipped Whitehorse. I pulled into the lot seconds before you destroyed Billings Foods. "
― Janet Evanovich , Explosive Eighteen (Stephanie Plum, #18)
67 " I'm going to get her good. She's messed with me one time too many. Remember when she called me an old slut?' Grandma whacked a carrot in half. 'Well, I'm not all that old. "
― Janet Evanovich , Top Secret Twenty-One (Stephanie Plum, #21)
68 " the ancient Greeks thought there were four kinds of love. Storge, or familial love. Philia, or friendship. Eros, or romantic love, and agape, or unconditional love. "
― Janet Evanovich , The Big Kahuna (Fox and O'Hare #6)
69 " I’m only getting one doughnut,” Lula said, getting out of the Firebird. “I’m on a new diet where I only have one of anything. Like I can have one pea. And I can have one piece of asparagus. And I can have one loaf of bread. "
― Janet Evanovich , Sizzling Sixteen (Stephanie Plum, #16)
70 " The morally correct answer is yes, but the practical answer is no. "
71 " out I was going to crash the car into a telephone pole. "
― Janet Evanovich , Tricky Twenty-Two (Stephanie Plum, #22)
72 " It is written by the Sage that you, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection. "
― Janet Evanovich , Dangerous Minds (Knight and Moon, #2)
73 " I heaved a large sigh of resignation and pushed off on my three-mile route, mapped out with great care to avoid hills and bakeries. "
― Janet Evanovich , One for the Money (Stephanie Plum, #1)
74 " I’d criticized foreign governments for using chemical warfare, and here I was buying nerve gas from a woman who waxed off all her pubic hair. "
75 " That sounds like something sick,” Lula said. “What kind of a person would participate in a cornhole competition? I personally wouldn’t be involved in anything to do with cornholes. "
― Janet Evanovich , Look Alive Twenty-Five (Stephanie Plum, #25)
76 " You underestimate me. I’m pretty fucking mean.” Morelli grinned. “You’re a marshmallow. Soft and sweet and when you get heated up you go all gooey and delicious. "
77 " I’ve noticed you only talk ghetto half of the time.” “I’m multi-lingual,” Ranger said. "
78 " My first stop was the supermarket. Not bad this early in the morning because it takes the seniors time to get up and running. By ten, they’d start to roll in, clogging up the lot with their handicap-tagged cars. Being a senior citizen in Jersey is a lot like belonging to the Mob. A certain attitude is expected. If you don’t respect a Mob member in Jersey, you could get shot. If you don’t respect a senior, they’ll ram a shopping cart into your car, rear-end you at a light, and deliberately block you from going down the nonprescription meds aisle by idling in the middle of it in their motorized basketed bumper cars while they pretend to read the label on the Advil box. "
― Janet Evanovich , Finger Lickin' Fifteen (Stephanie Plum, #15)
79 " Will you promise to pick up after yourself?” “No, but I’ll hire a cleaning lady. "
― Janet Evanovich , Manhunt
80 " A gift card says I feel obligated to get you something, but I don’t care enough to put any effort into finding just the right gift. "