Home > Work > Top Secret Twenty-One (Stephanie Plum, #21)
1 " I'm going to get her good. She's messed with me one time too many. Remember when she called me an old slut?' Grandma whacked a carrot in half. 'Well, I'm not all that old. "
― Janet Evanovich , Top Secret Twenty-One (Stephanie Plum, #21)
2 " Babe!” Ranger shouted from the bathroom. “Come get your grandmother.” Ranger was standing in the glass-enclosed shower with the door open, looking out at Grandma. He was dripping wet and seemed not especially concerned that he was naked. “It’s like she’s paralyzed,” he said. “Amazing,” Grandma said, eyes wide, staring in unblinking stupefaction. I yanked Grandma out and closed the bathroom door. “It was mesmerizing,” Grandma said. “It was like staring into the eye of a cobra. I don’t care if I do anything else on the bucket list. This was awesome. It was like a biblical experience. "
3 " be refreshing.” Ranger smiled. “There are times when I seriously consider marrying you, but then I get yet another black mark on my path to enlightenment and forgiveness and I scratch marriage off my bucket list.” “Really? You think about marrying me?” “Marrying you might be extreme, but once in a while I think about sharing my closet.” “You have a really great closet. "
4 " This is why I’m not married,” Ranger said. “Women ask questions.” “Unh!” I said, smacking my forehead with the heel of my hand. “That’s not why you’re not married. You’re not married because you’re … impossible.” He dragged me to him and kissed me, and I felt the kiss travel like lava to my doo-dah. “I have some issues to resolve,” he said. No kidding. He gave my ponytail a playful tug and left. "
5 " The ballroom was empty of people but filled with round tables and chairs. It was set for a wedding party. White tablecloths with huge pink bows and pink and white artificial flower centerpieces, a two-foot riser with a long decorated table for the bridal party, a smaller round table next to the riser. The smaller table supported a massive wedding cake that was being cooled by a standing fan. “This is so romantic,” I said to Ranger. “Does it give you ideas?” He wrapped an arm around me, dragged me close against him, and kissed me on the forehead. “Yes, it gives me ideas, but not about marriage. Mostly about setting fire to this atrocity. "
6 " I looked down at my bloody shirt and jeans. “My face hurts all over,” I said to Ranger. “Where’s all the blood coming from?” “You’re getting a bruise on your cheek. You have a small cut on your lower lip. You were bleeding from your nose, but that seems to have stopped. You have a puncture wound on your neck.” “I’m a mess!” Ranger wrapped his arms around me and held me close. “You’re beautiful. You evacuated the hotel and you delivered Vlatko. "
7 " Ranger stood and stretched, his black T-shirt rode up, and I caught a glimpse of two inches of brown skin and hard abs and almost had an orgasm. “Babe,” he said. “Are you okay?” “Yep. Why?” “You sort of moaned.” “Gas.” “Understandable.” We took the elevator to the lobby and looked in at the bar. Filled with men speaking Russian. "
8 " It was mesmerizing,” Grandma said. “It was like staring into the eye of a cobra. I don’t care if I do anything else on the bucket list. This was awesome. It was like a biblical experience. "
9 " I don’t care that you’re short. I like lots of things that are short. Little dogs and daffodils. I hate you because you’re mean as a snake. Would it kill you to be nice? "
10 " changed back into my comfy T-shirt advertising beer, crawled into bed, and switched the light off. I woke up at sunrise with Ranger next to me. Naked. No surprise there. Ranger always slept naked. "
11 " A book?" he asked. "Yeah, remember before television and computers we used to do this thing called reading? "
12 " Ranger was waiting. He was dressed in black slacks, a form-fitting black T-shirt, and a black blazer. "
13 " Morelli turned to Ranger. “If anything happens to her, I’m holding you responsible.” “Understood,” Ranger said. “Excuse me?” I said. “I’m an adult. I make my own decisions. And I’m responsible for my well-being. Is that clear?” “No,” both men said in unison. "
14 " I’d had a less tumultuous transition from childhood to adulthood, but somewhere in my twenties I feel like I got stalled in the process and now I’m drifting, marking time without any great passion to move forward. "
15 " Morelli ran after him, there was a lot of yelling and growling, and Morelli came down empty-handed. “He ate it,” Morelli said. I was horrified to the point of gagging. Ranger stared down at his shoe, making a monumental effort not to laugh. And Morelli stood hands on hips, staring at the bloody splotch on his rug. "
16 " Unzipping that body bag didn’t bother me,” Ranger said, “but I’m going to have nightmares over this casino. "
17 " Ranger stood and stretched, his black T-shirt rode up, and I caught a glimpse of two inches of brown skin and hard abs and almost had an orgasm. “Babe,” he said. “Are you okay?” “Yep. Why?” “You sort of moaned.” “Gas.” “Understandable. "
18 " Ranger smiled. “There are times when I seriously consider marrying you, but then I get yet another black mark on my path to enlightenment and forgiveness and I scratch marriage off my bucket list. "
19 " I was pretty sure this time “Babe” meant I was giving him a cramp in his sphincter. "
20 " Ranger was in his usual black—a perfectly tailored black suit, and a black dress shirt open at the neck. The Glock at the small of his back was also black. Ranger’s body is perfect. His hair is very dark brown. Cut short. His eyes are dark brown and intense. His skin is the color of hot chocolate, the lucky result of his Latino ancestry. His earbud matched his skin tone and was barely detectable. "
