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181 " The sun got confused about daylight savings time. It rose twice. Everything had two shadows. "
― Steven Wright
182 " I saw a man with a wooden leg and a real foot. "
183 " Is 'tired old cliché' one? "
184 " I saw a subliminal advertising executive, but only for a second. "
185 " I was trying to daydream but my mind kept wandering. "
186 " I bought a cheap piece of land... It was on someone else’s property. "
187 " i busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five. "
188 " Imagine Pulitzer prizefighting. "
189 " You cant have everything. Where would you put it? "
190 " Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before. "
191 " I just lost a buttonhole. "
192 " I don’t have to walk my dog anymore. I walked him all at once. "
193 " The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up. "
194 " They say the universe is expanding. That should help ease the traffic. "
195 " Last week I forgot how to ride a bicycle. "
196 " always remember your unique, just like everone else "
197 " You know how it is when you go to be the subject of a psychology experiment and nobody else shows up and you think maybe that's part of the experiment? I'm like that all the time. "
198 " I woke up one morning, and all of my stuff had been stolen and replaced by exact duplicates". "
199 " It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to have to paint it. "
200 " 24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? "