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21 " If at 1st you don't succeed, stretch out on your La-Z-Boy with a six-pack and a porn flick. Y' still won't succeed, but you sure as hell won't give a shift. "
― Lois Greiman , Unplugged (A Chrissy McMullen Mystery, #2)
22 " A person without regrets is called a corpse. "
― Lois Greiman , Unmanned (A Chrissy McMullen Mystery, #4)
23 " Sometimes it's nice to have a man around the house. But a dog will clean the dishes. "
24 " False hope is better than no hope at all. "
25 " All's well so long-as you don't get shot in the hind end with a twenty gauge. "
26 " I'm just an everyday kind of hero. If the everyday kind saves babies from burning buildings and looks hotter than hell in bunker gear. "
27 " A woman needs a man like a tuba needs a cucumber. "
28 " There are 2 kinds of people in the world. Those who enjoy a nice salami and those who have no souls. "
29 " A wedding is no way to begin a marriage. "
30 " When men age they're called sophisticated. When women age they ain't called at all. "
31 " If you don't scare the neighbors while copulating, I'm afraid you're doing something terribly wrong. "
32 " Apparently it takes, like, forty-seven muscles to frown. Flippin' the bird' s a hell of a lot easier. "
33 " Women have to be in the mood for sex. Men have to be breathing. "
34 " Love is like skydiving without a parachute. "
35 " Let us talk about oxymoron, common sense, for instance. "
36 " I've been a little cranky since that house fell on my sister. "
― Lois Greiman , Unscrewed (A Chrissy McMullen Mystery, #3)
37 " A balanced diet and a brisk daily walk will help keep you healthy, but there's nothing like a good-looking young man with a nice butt to help up your cardiovascular system. "
38 " You are a perfect woman, a magical blend of beauty, intelligence, and spirit. Without you, my life is nothing. "
39 " Yeah, world peace would be all right, but what about a day off in a slab of ham the size of my head. "
40 " Life's funny. Sometimes it's your oyster, and sometimes you're it's bitch-slapped man-whore. "