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21 " Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There's no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere. "
― Groucho Marx
22 " Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot. "
23 " A child of five could understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five. "
24 " A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running. "
25 " Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse. "
26 " I don’t have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They’re upstairs in my socks. "
27 " With the possible exception of clothes, beauty salons and Frank Sinatra, there are few subjects all women agree upon. "
― Groucho Marx , Memoirs Of A Mangy Lover
28 " Even the intellectual crowd will have none of me. Physically, I look like one of them. Graying at the temples, I walk with a slight limp and wear thick glasses. "
29 " Bel Air, I am convinced, was laid out by some diabolic sadist who deliberately decided not to use a compass or a surveyor. "
30 " I think women are sexy when they got some clothes on. And if later they take them off then you've triumphed. Somebody once said it's what you dont see you're interested in, and this is true. "
31 " Most young women do not welcome promiscuous advances. (Either that, or my luck's terrible.) "
32 " Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him. "
33 " Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men -- the other 999 follow women. "
34 " Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms. "
35 " While money can't buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own form of misery. "
36 " Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough. "
37 " A year ago I came here without a nickle in my pocket, now, I've got a nickle in my pocket. "
38 " Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book -and does "
39 " Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it. "
40 " Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself. "