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41 " The vampire bible, bound in human skin, written in blood, and full of prophecies that were never wrong. Trouble was, if you read the thing too long, it drove you nuts. Not "I'm having a bad day and feel bitchy" nuts or PMS nuts. "I think I'll commit felony assault on my friends and rape my boyfriend" nuts. "
― MaryJanice Davidson , Undead and Unreturnable (Undead, #4)
42 " ... friends are such a mixed blessing. "
― MaryJanice Davidson , Undead and Unwed (Undead, #1)
43 " ...you just never knew when a totally normal vampire errand would end in a bloodbath with severed-limb soap. "
― MaryJanice Davidson , Undead and Unappreciated (Undead, #3)
44 " I fucking hate tomato juice! It’s like drinking red snot. "
― MaryJanice Davidson , The Royal Mess (Alaskan Royal Family, #3)
45 " It was scary how much she sounded like me sometimes. Maybe that's why she totally got on my nerves "
― MaryJanice Davidson , Undead and Unpopular (Undead, #5)
46 " Just because I'm dead doesn't mean I can't have a life. "
47 " I mean, not that I killed her just to get the car, or anything. "
― MaryJanice Davidson , Undead and Unemployed (Undead, #2)
48 " Don't look at his groin. Don't look at his groin. Don't mention that he doesn't have a vagina, so 'we' is bullshit. This is not the time to mention your pet peeve about expectant fathers talking how 'we' are having a baby. Don't. Don't. "
― MaryJanice Davidson , Undead and Unstable (Undead, #11)
49 " What the hell was it about e-mail that made everybody forget the stuff they learned in second grade, like capitalizing I and proper names, and using periods? Hello? We all learned how to do this less than five years out of diapers! "
― MaryJanice Davidson , Undead and Unwelcome (Undead, #8)
50 " What it comes down to is this, Betsy: you do what you need to, and then you haul ass out of there. Every single time. "
― MaryJanice Davidson , Undead and Unworthy (Undead, #7)
51 " Somehow, when I wasn't looking, somehow because it's electronic mail, none of the basic grammar rules applied. "
52 " Crying's okay while it lasts, but you can only do it for so long. And it's weird to do it when you apparently can't make tears anymore (did this mean I wouldn't pee or sweat, either?). Anyway, eventually you're done, and you have to figure out what to do next. "
53 " Eric came to Macy's? Did he burst into flames the moment he passed the first cash register? "
54 " It's Privacy, Please, for the Penguins. "
― MaryJanice Davidson , The Royal Treatment (Alaskan Royal Family, #1)
55 " I turned. Tall, Dark, and Sinister was rapidly approaching. "
56 " Honestly. Do guys really think that will fool us? 'Whoa, hi there, John. Gosh, for a second there I thought you were going bald, but I see now that you have a full, lush head of hair. Which grows sideways from left to right in sticky strands. Have I ever been this sexually excited? I think not. "
― MaryJanice Davidson , Me, Myself and Why? (Cadence Jones, #1)
57 " It's a long story. Prepared to be regaled. "
58 " A vampire? How ith that pothible? I died in a car ackthident, for God’th thake! Aw, thon of a bith! "
59 " George paid for college by working for Cutco. Cutco is a company that makes and sells knives. Their salespeople go door-to-door. George Pinkman talked his way into peoples' homes with a big bag of knives and sold them potential murder weapons. Do I have to add that he was their top salesman three years running? I do not. "
― MaryJanice Davidson , You and I, Me and You (Cadence Jones, #3)
60 " I'm not playing vamp politics. "