41
" Inside us all, just waiting to be tested, is a better, bolder, braver version of who we think we are.
All you have to do is give it an opportunity to be unleashed.
So pick big targets and surprise yourself with how capable you really are deep down.
Remember David and Goliath? Rather than David, the young shepherd boy, looking at this giant of a warrior and thinking, ‘Yikes, he’s huge, I’m beat’ - he thought, ‘With a target that big, how can I possibly miss!’
Success, in life and adventure, is dependent on the retraining of our mind. "
― Bear Grylls , A Survival Guide for Life: How to Achieve Your Goals, Thrive in Adversity, and Grow in Character
44
" 16. Worry Worries
One of my oldest buddies from Everest and the SAS, Mick Crosthwaite, once gave me this sound advice: ‘Don’t worry about anything that’s outside your sphere of influence.’
Or in other words: if you can’t change it, don’t fret it.
Think about it. What do you worry most about? Is it inside or outside your sphere of influence? You see, most of us fret and panic about stuff we have no control over - things we can’t change.
Mick’s advice made me realize that if I can’t change it, I just won’t worry about it. Instead, spend the time and mental energy effecting positive change where you can, not where you can’t.
It is sound advice, but it isn’t how most people live.
Mark Twain famously said that he had spent most of his life worrying about things that never happened. I think people probably do this a lot. It is partly why so few get to where they dream of. They dare not…just in case.
Fears and worries - about things that are long passed, or that may never materialize in our future - all weigh us down and slow us up.
So where you can, drop the worries. "
― Bear Grylls , A Survival Guide for Life: How to Achieve Your Goals, Thrive in Adversity, and Grow in Character
47
" Fears and worries - about things that are long passed, or that may never materialize in our future - all weigh us down and slow us up.
So where you can, drop the worries.
Jesus talked a lot about this, and this was a guy who had some serious reasons to worry. After all, he was about to be tortured to death on a cross, bearing the pain and burden of every bad deed and thought ever done by mankind. Now that is a proper-sized weight to carry!
But yet he still said: ‘Cast your burdens on to me, for I care for you.’
That verse is a good thing to remember, and it has helped me so many times to overcome some pretty big worries.
Even if you find it hard to believe for yourself, and even if you haven’t quite figured out all the theological details, just try it for the heck of it! What do you have to lose, apart from a little pride? (And pride is never a great thing to have too much of anyway.)
So just claim Christ’s promise over your concerns. Close your eyes and pass them upstairs to Him. He has developed an awesome habit over the last few thousand years of answering simple, honest, heart-led prayers.
Pass them up, then let them go.
And one final word on worrying. Remember this: The past is history, the future a mystery but the ‘now’ is a gift - that’s why we call it the Present.
You must learn to live in the Present.
Embrace it, relish it, work it, cherish it.
It doesn’t last for ever. "
― Bear Grylls , A Survival Guide for Life: How to Achieve Your Goals, Thrive in Adversity, and Grow in Character
50
" 5. Be the Most Enthusiastic Person You Know
My mum and dad gave me a few bits of great advice as a young boy (along with a fair amount of scolding for being an idiot, but that’s another story!), but there is one thing my late father told me that has affected my outlook and approach to life more than almost anything else, and it was this:
If you can be the most enthusiastic person you know, then you won’t go far wrong.
It was always said to me with a wry smile, as if I was being told something of infinite power. And he was right.
Enthusiasm so often makes the critical difference: it sustains you when times are tough, it encourages those around you, it is totally infectious and it rapidly becomes a habit!
In turn, that enthusiasm adds the extra 5 per cent sparkle to everything we do - and life is so often won or lost in that little extra bit that carries us home over the finish line. "
― Bear Grylls , A Survival Guide for Life: How to Achieve Your Goals, Thrive in Adversity, and Grow in Character
51
" So here is what I tell young Scouts or young adventurers who ask me what the key is to living a fulfilled life. I keep it pretty simple. I call them the five Fs.
Family.
Friends.
Faith.
Fun.
Follow your dreams.
None of them requires a degree, and all of them are within our reach. Just make them your priority, write them on your bathroom mirror, let them seep into your subconscious over time, and soon they will be like a compass guiding you to make the right decisions for your life.
When faced with big decisions, just ask yourself: ‘Will this choice or that one support or detract from the five Fs in my life?’
Family - sometimes like fudge: mostly sweet but with a few nuts! - but still they are our closest and dearest, and, like friendships, when we invest time and love in our families, we all get stronger.
Having good Friends to enjoy the adventures of life with, and to share the struggles we inevitably have to bear, is a wonderful blessing. Never underestimate how much good friends mean.
Faith matters. Jesus Christ has been the most incredible anchor and secret strength in my life - and it is so important to have a good guide through every jungle. (Go and do an Alpha Course to explore the notion of what faith is and isn’t)
Fun. Life should be an adventure. And you are allowed to have fun, you know! Make sure you get your daily dose of it. Yes, I mean daily!
And finally, Follow your dreams. Cherish them. They are God-given, dropped like pearls into the depths of your being. They provide powerful, life-changing purpose: beware the man with a dream who also has the courage to go out there and make it happen.
These five Fs will sustain and nurture you, and I have learnt that if you make them your priority, you have a great shot at living a wild, fun, exciting, rich, empowered and fulfilling life.
And, finally, remember that the ultimate success in the game of life can never come from money amassed, power or status attained, or from fame and recognition gained. All of those things are pretty hollow. Trust me.
Our real success is measured by how we touch and enrich people’s lives - the difference we can make to those who would least expect it, to those the world looks over.
That is a far, far better measure of a human life, and a great goal to aspire to, as we follow the five Fs along the way. "
― Bear Grylls , A Survival Guide for Life: How to Achieve Your Goals, Thrive in Adversity, and Grow in Character
52
" Success almost always follows great attitude. The two attract each other.
You may not be the fastest, the fittest, the cleverest or the strongest, but there’s nothing to stop you from being the most enthusiastic person you know. Nothing at all, except your willingness to step up and be a little different from the crowd.
So make enthusiasm a daily decision, even when you don’t feel like it. We can all choose our attitude, and one of the best reasons for choosing positive attributes is the alternative - which means if you don’t pick a good attitude, then you’ve got a bad one, or, even worse, a lukewarm, insipid, neutral one.
If you have to have any type of attitude to tackle each day, you might as well choose to make it a great one and make enthusiasm a driving force for good in your life.
People will love you for it, and remember you for it.
After all, who doesn’t like to work with enthusiastic people?
I know I do. "
― Bear Grylls , A Survival Guide for Life: How to Achieve Your Goals, Thrive in Adversity, and Grow in Character
54
" 44. Let The Mountain Give You Strength
This is something I couldn’t quite get my head round when I was younger. One of my heroes, Sir Edmund Hillary, used to say that he drew strength from the mountain, and I just couldn’t understand what he meant. Then one day I experienced it for myself.
Let me explain…
Mountains - and all the natural struggles and obstacles they present - are also arenas to find out what we are made of. Inside every challenge, high on every mountain, is the opportunity to find a strength within us to survive and thrive. It just takes us to be willing to dig deep and push on hard enough and long enough to find that strength.
But most people give up before they find it. This is why most people never reach the summit of their goals.
They quit when the winds pick up. They let their heads dip when it gets hard.
But I have learnt that on the mountains, the winds invariably pick up as you near the summit. (There is a scientific reason for this called the venturi effect, which means that as the wind hits the steep faces it gets squeezed, and when wind is compressed it speeds up. Hence windswept mountaintops.)
So don’t be daunted or downhearted when it gets tough, don’t shy away - step up to the plate, rise up to the challenge, and embrace the mountain. When we do this, the mountain will reward you, it will ‘give’ you the strength to overcome.
I don’t always know where this strength comes from but I have often felt it within me. The tougher it becomes, the more I have felt this strength welling up inside.
So embrace that push, don’t hide from the squeeze, but push on and allow the mountain to give you that strength.
Edmund Hillary found it, many explorers when really up against the ropes have found it, and I have found it. The key to its discovery is a willingness to push on and feed off the scale of the climb or the obstacle. Do this and the strength will come. Dig a little deeper, keep going a little longer, and somehow the summit will eventually come into view. It might not be until dawn, when the sun rises, but if you hang on in there long enough, it will inevitably come.
And so often the darkest hour is just before the dawn. You just have to hang on in there through those dark hours - don’t give up, let the mountain sustain you and empower you, and you will experience the mountain within you. "
― Bear Grylls , A Survival Guide for Life: How to Achieve Your Goals, Thrive in Adversity, and Grow in Character
55
" 59. Creature Comforts Are Only Temporary
It was one of the most painful lessons of my life.
It was during the first time I attempted SAS selection. I was totally lost in a vast boggy wetland, torrential rain was driving down, and I was utterly spent.
I was also way behind time, and I knew it.
When I finally made it to the penultimate checkpoint, the corporals kept me there doing endless press-ups in the wet marsh with my heavy pack still on my back. I knew this was costing me even more valuable time and energy.
I was feeling fainter and fainter; I knew things were bad.
I was soon off again, wading across a fast-flowing, waist-deep stream, before climbing up through knee-deep mud towards the next 2,000-foot (600-metre) mountain ridge-line. I just had to keep going. Ten miles. Twenty miles. ‘Nothing good comes from quitting,’ I told myself, over and over again. ‘If I keep going, I will pass.’
But I was getting more and more delirious with fatigue. I didn’t know why this was happening, and I couldn’t control it. Maybe I hadn’t eaten or drunk enough, or perhaps it was just that the months of this relentless pace were finally taking their toll and I was at my limit.
Every couple of paces, my knees would buckle. If I stumbled, I couldn’t stop myself from falling.
Eventually I saw the trucks in the distance below me, symbolizing the end point. Wisps of smoke from army Hexi stoves curled upwards from the woods. Soon I would be warm, soon I would have a cup of hot tea. It was all I wanted.
But when I reached the end checkpoint I was told I had been failed - I had been too slow. My world fell inwards. I was sent off to make camp in the woods and rest for the night. The remaining recruits would be heading out for the night march in a few hours.
The next morning I would be returned to camp with the others who hadn’t made the grade. I was totally dejected.
That night in those woods, warm and dry under my shelter, blisters attended to, dry socks on, and out of the wind and rain, I learnt an enduring lesson: warm and dry doesn’t mean fulfilled and happy. "
― Bear Grylls , A Survival Guide for Life: How to Achieve Your Goals, Thrive in Adversity, and Grow in Character
57
" The next morning I would be returned to camp with the others who hadn’t made the grade. I was totally dejected.
That night in those woods, warm and dry under my shelter, blisters attended to, dry socks on, and out of the wind and rain, I learnt an enduring lesson: warm and dry doesn’t mean fulfilled and happy.
Only a few hours earlier I had been longing to be warm and dry and safe. Yet lying there, knowing that my buddies were starting out on a grueling night march without me, was pure agony. Never has anyone wanted to be cold, wet and tired as much as I did right then. And never have the comforts of shelter and food meant so little to me.
You see, being dry and warm in life, but with no purpose, is no consolation for being in the heat of the arena in pursuit of your goals.
Don’t get me wrong, warm and dry is great as a reward ‘afterwards’, and we should all regularly enjoy some time chilling, doing ‘nothing’ - but if all you do is ‘nothing’, you will find it a very hollow existence.
(So yes, I went back on the next Selection course and went through those 11 months of SAS hell again - and I passed. I was cold, wet and exhausted throughout, so that now, when I relax, I feel that huge sense of pride for having endured.)
Once you commit to your goal, don’t get swayed by the temporary lure of creature comforts and easy feelings - instead, keep focused, and remember the pain never lasts for ever, but the pride in having followed your calling will. "
― Bear Grylls , A Survival Guide for Life: How to Achieve Your Goals, Thrive in Adversity, and Grow in Character
60
" 39. Money Is Like A River: It Has To Flow
We live in a society where success is often (and falsely) determined by how much money we earn. Our culture values money way too highly, and here’s why.
The
Rich List
that gets published each year sends out the message that having more money than the next person is something to aspire to. This had led to a culture where - once we have grabbed hold of whatever money we can - we hold on to it as tightly as possible…or else!
This same culture says that if you give it away then you will simply end up poorer. But the little-known secret of money is that it really works in reverse: it is only when a person starts to give away what he has that he begins to gain riches far beyond mere coins.
Let me tell you, accumulating and clinging tightly on to money will never make you happy. In fact, if that is your focus and your reaction to money, it will eat you up and make your life a neurotic misery. I have seen it too often.
Money is like a mirror: it reveals what sort of person we really are. That is where the real value of money lies - to distinguish the character of its owner.
Money is also like a river, and rivers need to flow or they die. When you dam up a stream, the water soon becomes stagnant. Likewise with money: stop moving it along or giving it away and helping others, and the money starts to go stagnant.
It first goes murky, then it dies.
Money has to be shared lightly, given generously, and used to enrich not just your life, but those of all around you. Only then does money have power.
Finally, money is like a butterfly: hold on to it too tightly and you kill it. Light hands, and a generous, free spirit, will make the butterfly soar, spreading joy and light wherever it lands.
It’s not how much money you have that matters, it’s what you do with it. That’s how to become really rich. "
― Bear Grylls , A Survival Guide for Life: How to Achieve Your Goals, Thrive in Adversity, and Grow in Character
A Survival Guide for Life: How to Achieve Your Goals, Thrive in Adversity, and Grow in Character