62
" It’s not how much money you have that matters, it’s what you do with it. That’s how to become really rich.
Let me give you an example of someone who is ridiculously rich, in every sense of the word. Let me introduce you to Dave.
This is how Dave works: whenever he comes across great, everyday people, whoever they are - whether it’s a shy 17-year-old just leaving school with a longing to visit his absent father who now lives in Canada; or a plumber who has worked beyond the call of duty, been respectful and diligent, but who rarely gets to see his kids as he works so hard; or a single mother, a friend of a friend, who is struggling to balance a million things and multiple jobs and wishes she could treat her kids to something nice - Dave steps in. A bit like Superman!
You see, Dave has worked hard in his life, and been rewarded with great wealth, but through it all he has learnt something far greater: that great wealth doesn’t make you rich unless you do great things with it.
So Dave will secretly help people out in some special way. Maybe he pays for the young man’s plane fare to Canada to see his dad, or for the plumber to take his family on holiday, or the single mum to get a car. Anything that is beyond the norm, out of the ordinary - he does it. And you know what? It blows people away!
Not only does Dave have the most loyal army of everyday people who would go to the ends of the Earth for him (and it is not because of the money he gave them, by the way, it is because he did something so far beyond the norm for them), but Dave is also the happiest man I have ever met.
Why?
Because it is impossible to live like this and not be ridiculously happy!
It is in the giving that a person becomes rich. And that can start today, whatever point we are along the road of our goals.
So don’t waste a chance to get rich quick by getting busy giving.
Then stand back and watch the happiness unfold… "
― Bear Grylls , A Survival Guide for Life: How to Achieve Your Goals, Thrive in Adversity, and Grow in Character
63
" 60. Don’t Dwell On Mistakes
Mistakes are for learning from, not dwelling on. If you muck something up, spend a few minutes working out why, learn the lesson, then move swiftly on.
Dwelling on mistakes, endlessly replaying scenes in your head, only makes them grow.
So the next time you find yourself lying in bed at night, cursing your stupidity or foolishness, it’s worth reminding yourself that, in all probability, the mistake isn’t that big a deal to anyone else. Too often we can be our own hardest critic and worst enemy. Let it go and don’t waste more energy on regrets than you need to.
Look objectively. Learn humbly. Smile positively. Then move on, wiser and smarter than before.
There’s a very good reason why you made a mistake: you’re human! We all make them from time to time. Which is why we should also be understanding and forgiving when someone else makes one.
Ever heard the phrase ‘When you’re in a hole, stop digging’? It’s the same with mistakes. Don’t give the mistake more power than it warrants by squandering precious time worrying about it.
Yesterday is not ours to recover, but tomorrow is ours to win or lose.
Oh, and if you want to be really smart, then learn from the mistakes that other people make, so as to avoid the pain yourself. (A newspaper is a good place to start, and it is one of the few benefits of reading them!) "
― Bear Grylls , A Survival Guide for Life: How to Achieve Your Goals, Thrive in Adversity, and Grow in Character
64
" 27. To Get, You Have First To Give
A lot of advice in this book comes from my parents, and I am always grateful for having been raised by two wonderful and smart people. So here’s another gem from my mum:
If you want to receive, you must first look around for something to give.
As a kid, this was usually a pretty simple equation - she would only buy me a new toy if I selected an old one to give to the charity shop. (Quite annoying, I seem to remember!) But as I got older I realized that giving to get is actually one of the universe’s hidden rules.
You want someone to help you? Guess what: if you’ve helped them in the past, they are far more likely to come to your rescue. You want to get a bumper crop from your veg patch? Guess what, the more water, fertilizer and attention you give your seedlings, the more bountiful harvests they will produce.
But the inexplicable thing about my mum’s rule is that it works in the wilderness, too. There have been many times when I’ve been lost, exhausted, hungry, and I’ve felt my strength and my ability to keep going draining away.
In these situations, it’s human nature to shrink back and give up.
Yet my mother’s wisdom has been proved to me time and time again - to ‘get’ good results, you have to ‘give out’ something good or positive first.
So when I am tired, I commit to working even harder. When I feel downcast, I decide to be upbeat. You see, no matter how low your optimism or strength feels, if you can ‘force’ yourself to put out the good vibes, the good attitudes, the hopeful thoughts (even if you don’t feel them or believe them right at that moment), then you will be rewarded.
Try it some time when you are dog-tired. Get off that couch and start moving energetically. You will soon feel invigorated. Or when you are knee-deep in paperwork, slowing to a crawl, try just picking up the pace and focus, get ripping through it, giving it your all - and your body and mind will respond.
To get, first you have to give. "
― Bear Grylls , A Survival Guide for Life: How to Achieve Your Goals, Thrive in Adversity, and Grow in Character
65
" To get, first you have to give.
Even in extreme physical or survival situations, maybe you and your hiking buddy are so thirsty you can hardly walk straight. Go on - let them sip first. Give them the greater share.
When you do this sort of thing, you will also somehow get stronger. It is as though the mental boost always outweighs the physical drain. It is how we are made.
Often I’ve been so scared that I have lain awake all night, terrified about what I am going to have to do or face the next morning to get myself out of the wilderness. So I decide that when it is dawn, I will be excited, smiling and focused, regardless of how I feel - I will be ready to throw myself 100 per cent into the task ahead.
In return, the wild has a habit of rewarding total commitment.
And when it comes to life and mountains, it is really very simple: what we put in is what we get out. And in order to get, we first have to give. "
― Bear Grylls , A Survival Guide for Life: How to Achieve Your Goals, Thrive in Adversity, and Grow in Character
66
" 40. From Those To Whom Much Is Given, Much Is Expected
When I left school, I worked for six months running a series of self-defence classes around London to earn some money so I could go backpacking. Finally, I saved enough to travel to India, where I had always wanted to go and see the mighty Himalayas with my own eyes. I knew it would take my breath away.
But it was the other things I witnessed in India that really blew my mind.
In the back streets of Calcutta I saw sights that just should not happen: legless, blind, ragged bodies, lying in filth-strewn gutters, holding out their blistered arms to beg for a few rupees. I felt overwhelmed, inadequate and powerless - all at once.
I sought out the mission run by Mother Teresa and saw there how simple things - cleanliness, calm, care and love - made a difference to those in need. These are not costly things to give, and the lesson I learnt was simple: that we all have it within our power to offer something to change a life, even if our pockets are empty.
We’ve come to think of charity as being about big telethons or rock stars setting up foundations, but at its heart, charity is about small acts of kindness.
No matter the circumstances in which you were brought up, no matter what your job or how much you earn, we all have the capacity to give something - whether it’s time, love or a listening ear to someone in need.
And the thing to remember is this: don’t wait until you have more time, money or energy. Mother Teresa said: ‘Never worry about numbers. Help one person at a time and always start with the person nearest you.’
It is a great lesson, and the more we try to do this with whatever little we have, the more real success will gravitate toward us. People will love you back, your own sense of purpose and achievement will grow, and your life will have influence beyond the material.
That is a great way to be known and to live your life.
For the record: I am definitely still a work in progress on this one, but we all benefit from trying to aspire to this more.
So look around you for those in need - you won’t have to look far - and your own life will grow in meaning.
Success is not success unless you live this one. "
― Bear Grylls , A Survival Guide for Life: How to Achieve Your Goals, Thrive in Adversity, and Grow in Character
68
" 62. Two Ears, One Mouth
My mum and dad often told me that I had two ears and one mouth and that I should use them in that proportion. It is good advice.
If you’re always thinking about what you want to say, then you’re never really listening to what other people are saying. And that means you are missing out.
In a survival situation, if you talk more than you listen, you risk missing some vital piece of knowledge, whether it is the sound of a predator’s warning or a distant river that could save your life.
Likewise in life, if you talk too much, you’ll miss the chance to get to know other people properly and understand their points of view fully.
Conversely, if you make sure the listening exceeds the talking, then when you do speak, you’ll find that people will be far more interested in what you have to say. Firstly because they’ll assume what you’re saying is considered and of value, and secondly they won’t be sick of the sound of your voice!
People always value others who really listen to them. Quiet, considered and genuine listening is such a gift to give someone, and you will become recognized and loved for this skill. "
― Bear Grylls , A Survival Guide for Life: How to Achieve Your Goals, Thrive in Adversity, and Grow in Character
69
" People always value others who really listen to them. Quiet, considered and genuine listening is such a gift to give someone, and you will become recognized and loved for this skill.
It is always empowering to others if you truly listen well.
And don’t listen to reply, but listen to understand. That means don’t always be thinking of your next sentence or your reply while people are talking - rather just listen carefully to understand how they are feeling or what they are imparting.
It sounds simple but so few people do this, and it is a big part of why many never reach their full potential in life.
You know the expression: empty vessels make the most noise. It is true. The best adventurers and climbers, and the most successful people I know in life, are all great listeners, and they don’t talk too much. They want to weigh every option carefully, and they take time to absorb the information coming at them.
It is all too easy not to listen properly and to jump into a perspective or decision without considering the implications - but if you listen diligently, it gives you precious time to assess a situation properly.
This has saved my life many times, especially when I have received detailed safety briefings from local rangers before entering the wild. Listen carefully - your life might depend on others’ experience and advice.
So make sure you use your ears and your mouth in the correct ratio - and listen twice as much as you talk. It is a firm habit of successful people. "
― Bear Grylls , A Survival Guide for Life: How to Achieve Your Goals, Thrive in Adversity, and Grow in Character
70
" 66. The Will To Win Means Nothing Without The Will To Train
I have met a lot of people over the years who professed that they would do whatever it took to win a race or climb a big mountain. But sometimes the will to win just isn’t enough.
In fact, the will to win means nothing if you don’t also have the will to train.
The day of the race is the easy bit: all eyes are on you and the adrenalin is running high. But the race or the battle is really won or lost in the build-up: the unglamorous times when it is raining at 5:30 a.m. and you don’t want to get out of your warm bed to go for a run.
So, don’t fall into the trap of trying hard but lacking the skills or resources that you can only gain through training.
I love the story of Daley Thompson, the decathlete who won gold at two Olympics.
He used to say his favourite day of the year to train was Christmas Day, as he knew it would be the only day his competitors wouldn’t be training. That is commitment, and it is part of why he won - he saw it as a chance to get 1/365th quicker than his rivals!
So, remember that our goals are reached by how we prepare and train in the many months before crunch time. Train right, and the summit or gold medal will be the inevitable culmination of your commitment.
I like that, because it means the rewards go to the dogged rather than the brilliant. "
― Bear Grylls , A Survival Guide for Life: How to Achieve Your Goals, Thrive in Adversity, and Grow in Character
73
" 41. Never Work Again!
There’s only one place where success comes before work, and that’s in the dictionary. Everywhere else in life, you do not get success without first working hard.
This is why it’s important that you find the rewards you seek from the work itself. I would be climbing mountains and throwing myself off cliffs even if I wasn’t being paid to do it - because I love the sweat, the toil, the risk and the endeavor. It makes me feel alive.
I can bet you that Mozart would have made music even if no one had listened. (In fact, he did, and for a large part of his life no one cared.)
If you love the process, then the length of the journey doesn’t matter so much. So often it takes actors or climbers or musicians decades to find ‘success’, but they eventually triumph because they are working within their passion.
Do this for long enough and with enough enthusiasm, and ‘success’ will come. Even if it is not in the form you might first imagine.
A love of what you do is one of the highest forms of success you can ever have. If you do what you love, then you’ll never have to do a day’s work for the rest of your life. "
― Bear Grylls , A Survival Guide for Life: How to Achieve Your Goals, Thrive in Adversity, and Grow in Character
75
" 28. Experts Should Be On Tap, Not On Top
This is another piece of advice from Winston Churchill (he was a fountain of great one-liners):
Experts should be on tap, not on top.
I have made the mistake all too often in the past of taking experts’ advice as gold, as the only ‘right’ option. It has often been against my instinct, and it has all too frequently landed me in trouble.
To let yourself be guided purely by experts is always a recipe for disaster.
So-called experts might know their field, but they don’t always know the whole picture of what’s right. Especially for you.
I know some very wealthy people who don’t even live where they want to because their accountant told them they could pay less tax if they bought a home in Monaco. It is as if their accountant has more of a say over their lives than their kids or partners do - and that is always a ‘false’ economy.
Experts are experts because they specialize in one small part of a field. A leader’s job is to see beyond that, to see the whole picture and then to make a considered decision. The expert advice should be there to serve you: to be ‘on tap’, when you need it, but not as your only option.
So when you need guidance, ‘listen’ to all the experts, assemble the knowledge in your head, sleep on it, trust your instinct (more of that later!), then make an informed, not hasty decision.
By the way, the only thing worse than making a bad decision? Making no decision! So many people fail to get ahead because they can’t decide. They dither.
It is natural. We all get fearful of making a bad decision - but really that is back to being scared of failing, and we know how to deal with that now, don’t we?
Failing is OK. A bad decision is better than no decision.
So learn to make decisions - informed, good decisions, based on good advice, but not dictated solely by the advisors. Trust your instincts, and commit to your decision.
And if it proves wrong, then learn from the error, have the humility to acknowledge it, then move on - wiser and smarter.
And remember, like so many things, the more you practice making decisions, the better you will become at making good decisions.
You’ll never have a 100 per cent gold strike rate, but some people get pretty darned close, and if you study their habits I bet you will see some clear patterns in their decision-making.
So, listen to the experts, keep them on tap, but know your own mind, know your own heart - and let these lead you to the right choices to keep you on top. "
― Bear Grylls , A Survival Guide for Life: How to Achieve Your Goals, Thrive in Adversity, and Grow in Character
78
" Few people try, because few people dare. And most don’t want to give up on the easy.
Think of your favorite sports star. Let me tell you, they spent every waking moment of their teenage years in the gym, pounding pavements or knocking a ball against a wall. You just don’t get good at something unless you dedicate yourself to it.
It’s not rocket science: the rewards go to the dogged.
But sacrifice hurts, which is why so many take the easy option. But what most people don’t realize is that sacrifice also has power. Knowing that you have denied yourself something you wanted often means you put even more effort into achieving your goal. It’s the Yin for the Yang.
I like to see sacrifice as a type of fuel that powers you towards your destination. The more you give up, then the more energy, time and focus you gain to commit to your goal.
It’s never easy to make sacrifices, especially when you know they are going to hurt. But I would encourage you to choose the option that will make you proud.
There is a great line in the poem ‘The Road Not Taken’ by Robert Frost that says: ‘I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference.’
Do you want to make a difference? Do you want to be one of the few or the many?
If you want to achieve something special, then you have to choose a path that most won’t dare to tread.
That can be scary; but exciting. And there will be a cost. Count it. Weigh it. Are you really prepared to pay the price? The sacrifice?
Remember this:
Pain is transitory; pride endures for ever. "
― Bear Grylls , A Survival Guide for Life: How to Achieve Your Goals, Thrive in Adversity, and Grow in Character
80
" 67. Give It Away!
I’m going to trust that if you are smart enough to build a successful life then you should be smart enough to understand that giving money is as much about the spirit as it is about the actual amounts.
(And remember: one thing is for certain, giving money doesn’t get us to Heaven. Heaven is a gift that was bought for us at a price greater than any of us can afford. But giving money away is a definite by-product of having received that gift!)
When we receive something amazing, our instinct is to want to give something in gratitude. It is how we work - so follow those natural rhythms.
Regardless of how you decide to give and how much, just ensure that giving part of your earnings to those in real need becomes a joyful part of your life.
Give to friends who do amazing jobs but who earn very little, give to charities that move you, give to those the world overlooks, give as your heart tells you - and learn to listen to it.
And by all means live a great life yourself along the way - why not? You have worked hard for it, paid your taxes and you deserve it. The main thing to remember, though, is to keep giving lots of money away as well.
If you do, then, in return, it will do many things for you… "
― Bear Grylls , A Survival Guide for Life: How to Achieve Your Goals, Thrive in Adversity, and Grow in Character
A Survival Guide for Life: How to Achieve Your Goals, Thrive in Adversity, and Grow in Character