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" My deepest desire is to give you as much freedom as you want. I have no plans to control you on some short leash. In fact, I want the opposite. I want you to be in control of yourself and have as much freedom as you can. So here is how it works. It’s a formula. The amount of freedom that you will have will be equal to the amount of responsibility that you take when you have it, and that responsibility should be measured by love. The choices you make, that you will be responsible for, are to be loving. They must be good for others and for yourself. Your choices should not hurt anyone in any way—you or anyone else. That is your guide to responsibility. If you are responsible in that way, guided by love, you will get more and more freedom. As much as you want, as long as you follow the formula: freedom = responsibility = love.
“If you are not responsible with the freedom that I give you, if you do things that are not good for yourself or others, things that are not loving, then your freedom will be limited to that same degree. It is totally up to you how much freedom you will get in the teen years. Show me that you can be responsible with it, and you will get it. That will make my life and yours a lot of fun! "
― Henry Cloud , The Power of the Other: The startling effect other people have on you, from the boardroom to the bedroom and beyond-and what to do about it
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" Great Corner Four relationships push us upward at all times. They will not let us stay where we are, lest we plateau, get bored, disengage, or go looking for another relationship that keeps us awake (say, in Corner Three). As I described earlier, humans are connection-seeking systems, but arousal-seeking ones, as well. If we get bored and disengaged, we can’t help but search for something to reenergize us, even if the stimulant comes in the form of an illicit affair or other risk-taking behavior. "
― Henry Cloud , The Power of the Other: The startling effect other people have on you, from the boardroom to the bedroom and beyond-and what to do about it