" Psychologists call this the “need-fear” dilemma. We fear the vulnerability that it takes to embrace our needs, so they go unmet. The more we need things from people, the scarier it gets to ask for what we need. We try to manage this need in other ways, hanging out in the first three corners, which bring no good outcomes and just reinforce limits. Try as we may to hold our breath longer, eventually we will be gasping for relational air. The need does not go away. It only grows, and as it does, so does the fear of being even more vulnerable. "

― Henry Cloud , The Power of the Other: The startling effect other people have on you, from the boardroom to the bedroom and beyond-and what to do about it