" Empty people can’t love others very selflessly. They’re operating out of a vacuum of insecurities and needs. You’ve seen what happens when someone who has never had a warm, giving relationship enters into marriage, where those skills are required. It doesn’t work, and just telling them to “love themselves first” won’t work either. "

― Henry Cloud , The Power of the Other: The startling effect other people have on you, from the boardroom to the bedroom and beyond-and what to do about it