Home > Author > Marshall B. Rosenberg
121 " Iam not easily frightened. Not because I am brave but because I know that I am dealing with human beings, and that I must try as hard as I can to understand everything that anyone ever does. "
― Marshall B. Rosenberg , Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life
122 " One form of life-alienating communication is the use of moralistic judgments that imply wrongness or badness on the part of those who don’t act in harmony with our values. Another is the use of comparisons, which can block compassion both for others and for ourselves. Life-alienating communication also obscures our awareness that we are each responsible for our own thoughts, feelings, and actions. Communicating our desires in the form of demands is yet another characteristic of language that blocks compassion. "
123 " I had a major conflict with what went on in his head, but I’ve learned that I enjoy human beings more if I don’t hear what they think. "
124 " It does not surprise me to hear that there is considerably less violence in cultures where people think in terms of human needs than in cultures where people label one another as “good” or “bad” and believe that the “bad” ones deserve to be punished. "
125 " Anger is a result of life-alienating thinking that is disconnected from needs. It indicates that we have moved up to our head to analyze and judge somebody rather than focus on which of our needs are not getting met. In addition to the third option of focusing on our own needs and feelings, the choice is ours at any moment to shine the light of consciousness on the other person’s feelings and needs. When we choose this fourth option, we also never feel anger. We are not repressing the anger; we see how anger is simply absent in each moment that we are fully present with the other person’s feelings and needs. All "
126 " This is a humbling lesson in power for those of us who believe that, because we’re a parent, teacher, or manager, our job is to change other people and make them behave. "
127 " It’s not what you do that counts, it’s the quality of your attention. "
128 " the dangers of a language that implies absence of choice, "
129 " I see all anger as a result of life-alienating, violence-provoking thinking. At the core of all anger is a need that is not being fulfilled. Thus anger can be valuable if we use it as an alarm clock to wake us up—to realize we have a need that isn’t being met and that we are thinking in a way that makes it unlikely to be met. To fully express anger requires full consciousness of our need. In addition, energy is required to get the need met. Anger, however, co-opts our energy by directing it toward punishing people rather than meeting our needs. Instead of engaging in “righteous indignation,” I recommend connecting empathically with our own needs or those of others. This may take extensive practice, whereby over and over again, we consciously replace the phrase “I am angry because they … ” with “I am angry because I am needing … ” Use anger as a wake-up call. "
130 " Essa característica da compaixão, que denomino “entregar-se de coração”, se expressa na letra da canção “Given to”, composta por minha amiga Ruth Bebermeyer em 1978: Nunca me sinto mais presenteada Do que quando você recebe algo de mim – Quando você compreende a alegria que sinto ao lhe dar algo. E você sabe que estou dando aquilo não para fazer você ficar me devendo, Mas porque quero viver o amor que sinto por você. Receber algo com boa vontade pode ser a maior entrega. Eu nunca conseguiria separar as duas coisas. Quando você me dá algo, Eu lhe dou meu receber. Quando você recebe algo de mim, Eu me sinto tão presenteada. "
131 " NVC Process The concrete actions we observe that affect our well-being How we feel in relation to what we observe The needs, values, desires, etc. that create our feelings The concrete actions we request in order to enrich our lives "
132 " Most of us grew up speaking a language that encourages us to label, compare, demand, and pronounce judgments rather than to be aware of what we are feeling and needing. "
133 " The most dangerous of all behaviors may consist of doing things “because we’re supposed to. "
134 " If we become skilled at giving ourselves empathy, we often experience in just a few seconds a natural release of energy that then enables us to be present with the other person. "
135 " Instead of habitual, automatic reactions, our words become conscious responses based firmly on awareness of what we are perceiving, feeling, and wanting. "
136 " Quanto mais as pessoas que fazem parte de nossa vida tiverem sido acusadas, punidas ou forçadas a sentirem-se culpadas por não fazerem o que os outros pediram, mais provavelmente elas levarão essa bagagem a todo relacionamento posterior e ouvirão em cada solicitação uma exigência. "
137 " Resistance, defensiveness, and violent reactions are minimized. "
138 " The Sufi poet RUmi once wrote, "Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and right-doing, there is a field. I'll meet you there. "
139 " In the world of judgments, our concern centers on "who is what. "
― Marshall B. Rosenberg
140 " In the play A Thousand Clowns by Herb Gardner, the protagonist refuses to release his twelve-year-old nephew to child-welfare authorities, declaring, “I want him to get to know exactly the special thing he is or else he won’t notice it when it starts to go. I want him to stay awake … I want to be sure he sees all the wild possibilities. I want him to know it’s worth all the trouble just to give the world a little goosing when you get the chance. And I want him to know the subtle, sneaky, important reason why he was born a human being and not a chair. "