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21 " Grief is a heartbreaking, soul-crushing, brain-warping experience that not one of us would voluntarily choose to have. We would never sign up to experience the losses we’ve lived through or the pain that follows. "
― Shelby Forsythia , Permission to Grieve: Creating Grace, Space, and Room to Breathe in the Aftermath of Loss
22 " From the time we’re children, we’re taught that the path is more important than the obstacles that appear on it. We’re told to focus on the destination rather than the journey. We repeatedly hear the story of the phoenix rising from the ashes, but we fail to remember (or conveniently forget to remember) that the ashes are made of the charred, scorched remains of the phoenix’s “life before. "
23 " Grief ripples out and sends powerful tremors through our foundation, through our hobbies, through our loved ones, and through our minds. For the first time in our lives, we can- not compartmentalize the hard, the bad, or the sad. There’s nowhere to tuck it away because every single aspect of our lives is infected with and tainted by grief. "
24 " In grief and loss, it becomes incredibly hard to recognize who we are. Grief makes us different people. Everything that we identify with—from our emotional states to our patterns to our dreams to our fears to our preferences to our core truths— everything fractures and shatters under the weight of loss. "
25 " If you’re grieving, you have become—at least partially—someone you don’t recognize. "
26 " Permission is the key that unlocks the door that’s been holding us trapped, muzzled, and stifled in our grief. Permission is the opposite of rejection. Permission is the opposite of abandonment. Permission lifts the weight, eases the pressure, and loosens the reins. "
27 " When we grant ourselves permission to grieve, we make the experience of grief something we recognize, something we welcome into our lives. We allow it to show up the way it wants to through feelings, identities, and actions. We write our own expectations and stories. Our grief becomes ours again and we become more ourselves again because we actively choose to experience grief. "
28 " Grief wants to be seen, heard, and listened to... just like we do. "
29 " While grief invites us to feel the full spectrum of human emotions, it also invites us to deepen our love for ourselves. That means feeling exactly how we’re feeling in every moment. That means meeting and embracing the darkest, ugliest, most conventionally “unlovable” pieces of ourselves and acknowledging that yes, even grief belongs to us, too. "
30 " Sitting next to grief and allowing it to root through your former life while slowly unfurling into your new life requires the kind of patience, gentleness, and self-love that many of us have never had to summon before. Remember that at its core, permission is about telling the truth about where you are right now. And sometimes that truth means saying, “I don’t know. "
31 " Don’t ask your losses to stay small so that you can feel safe. "
32 " Letting grief become action is about the body. It’s literally about taking grief outside of yourself and letting grief’s emotions and identities be expressed in the physical world around you. Whether there are witnesses or not, it’s tangible evidence that grief has called you to make or do something. The act of doing something is a visible marker that grief has had and is continuing to have an impact on your life. "
33 " As life continues, so will grief. "
34 " Society doesn’t give us permission to grieve, but we can. "
35 " What if grief is not a consequence of love but another expression of it? What if our deep sorrow is a reflection of deep connection? There is no grief with- out attachment, investment, and some kind of emotional bond. The fact that we grieve is evidence of how completely we are able to love. "
― Shelby Forsythia , Your Grief, Your Way: A Year of Practical Guidance and Comfort After Loss
36 " Grief is a normal, natural human experience. "
37 " Grief is not fixable, curable, or preventable. It is not a “condition” or pathology. "
38 " Life is linear until it isn’t. "
39 " Permission is the way back to ourselves after we’ve rejected our lives and abandoned ourselves. "
40 " When we’re grieving, we’re consciously or unconsciously walling ourselves into expectations, false stories, and myths. "