Home > Work > Boundaries in Marriage: Understanding the Choices That Make or Break Loving Relationships

Boundaries in Marriage: Understanding the Choices That Make or Break Loving Relationships QUOTES

Boundaries in Marriage: Understanding the Choices That Make or Break Loving Relationships QUOTES

1 " For love to work, each spouse has to realize his or her freedom. And boundaries help define the freedom we have and the freedom we do not have. Marriage is not slavery. It is based on a love relationship deeply rooted in freedom. Each partner is free from the other and therefore free to love the other. Where there is control, or perception of control, there is not love. Love only exists where there is freedom. "

― Henry Cloud , Boundaries in Marriage: Understanding the Choices That Make or Break Loving Relationships

2 " You get what you tolerate. "

― Henry Cloud , Boundaries in Marriage: Understanding the Choices That Make or Break Loving Relationships

3 " Couples often live out years of falsehood trying to protect and save a relationship, all the while destroying any chance of real relationship. "

― Henry Cloud , Boundaries in Marriage: Understanding the Choices That Make or Break Loving Relationships

4 " God's solution for "I can't live that way anymore" is basically, "Good! Don't live that way anymore. Set firm limits against evil behavior that are designed to promote change and redemption. Get the love and support you need from other places to take the kind of stance that I do to help redeem relationship. Suffer long, but suffer in the right way." And when done God's way, chances are much better for redemption. "

― Henry Cloud , Boundaries in Marriage: Understanding the Choices That Make or Break Loving Relationships

5 " People who always want to be happy and pursue it above all else are some of the most miserable people in the world. "

― Henry Cloud , Boundaries in Marriage: Understanding the Choices That Make or Break Loving Relationships

6 " And things don't change in a marriage until the spouse who is taking responsibility for a problem that is not hers decides to say or do something about it. "

― Henry Cloud , Boundaries in Marriage: Understanding the Choices That Make or Break Loving Relationships

7 " Marriage is not slavery. It is based on a love relationship deeply rooted in freedom. Each partner is free from the other and therefore free to love the other. Where there is control, or perception of control, there is not love. Love only exists where there is freedom. "

― Henry Cloud , Boundaries in Marriage: Understanding the Choices That Make or Break Loving Relationships

8 " When you cease to blame your spous eand own the problem as yours, you are then empowered to make changes to solve your problem. "

― Henry Cloud , Boundaries in Marriage: Understanding the Choices That Make or Break Loving Relationships

9 " The idea of submission is never meant to allow someone to overstep another's boundaries. Submission only has meaning in the context of boundaries, for boundaries promote self-control and freedom. If a wife is not free and in control of herself, she is not submitting anyway. She is a slave subject to a slave driver, and she is out of the will of God. "

― Henry Cloud , Boundaries in Marriage: Understanding the Choices That Make or Break Loving Relationships

10 " Don’t get angry with your spouse for her weakness! This is the worst thing you can ever do. It is using your strength in that area to destroy. If you have done that, if you have judged your spouse’s weakness or inability, put down this book and go apologize, if not for her sake, then for your own (see James 2:13). "

― Henry Cloud , Boundaries in Marriage: Understanding the Choices That Make or Break Loving Relationships

11 " All good marriages need outside support, so we need to seek out the right and appropriate sources. These should be people who are not only safe, but whose influence on us strengthens the marriage bond. Find people who are “for” your marriage and want to help you grow together. Avoid those who play the game of “poor you, being married to that bad person. "

― Henry Cloud , Boundaries in Marriage: Understanding the Choices That Make or Break Loving Relationships

12 " a runner can never see the finish line in the middle of a marathon, "

― Henry Cloud , Boundaries in Marriage: Understanding the Choices That Make or Break Loving Relationships

13 " If every marriage placed value on holiness, the following would be present: Confession and ownership of the problems in each individual A relentless drive toward growth and development A giving up of everything that gets in the way of love A surrendering of everything that gets in the way of truth A purity of heart where nothing toxic is allowed to grow This would be "

― Henry Cloud , Boundaries in Marriage: Understanding the Choices That Make or Break Loving Relationships

14 " God places such a high premium on our freedom that he shies away from forcing us to do things that would benefit us. He understands that we will never learn to love or respond to him without that costly freedom. "

― Henry Cloud , Boundaries in Marriage: Understanding the Choices That Make or Break Loving Relationships

15 " The primary reason for growth must be that one is “hungering for righteousness”—not for someone else, but for oneself. "

― Henry Cloud , Boundaries in Marriage: Understanding the Choices That Make or Break Loving Relationships

16 " The reality is that marriage is only as good as the investment people make in it. God has constructed life so that we are always either going forward into the growth process or backing away from it. We can’t stay the same. And marriage reflects this reality. The connection either deepens, opening both spouses up to the hearts of each, or it starts to deteriorate, closing them off from each other. "

― Henry Cloud , Boundaries in Marriage: Understanding the Choices That Make or Break Loving Relationships

17 " Love is at the heart of marriage, as it is at the heart of God himself (1 John 4:16). "

― Henry Cloud , Boundaries in Marriage: Understanding the Choices That Make or Break Loving Relationships

18 " One of the greatest gifts we can give to each other is the gift of honesty and confrontation. As Proverbs tells us, “Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses” (Proverbs 27:6). "

― Henry Cloud , Boundaries in Marriage: Understanding the Choices That Make or Break Loving Relationships

19 " When two people are free to disagree, they are free to love. When they are not free, they live in fear, and love dies: “Perfect love drives out fear” (1 John 4:18). "

― Henry Cloud , Boundaries in Marriage: Understanding the Choices That Make or Break Loving Relationships

20 " He didn’t have the ability to empathize with her because he could not get past himself. "

― Henry Cloud , Boundaries in Marriage: Understanding the Choices That Make or Break Loving Relationships