Home > Work > The Politically Incorrect Real Estate Agent Handbook: A Serious How-to Manual with a Sense of Humor
1 " The market is like Goldilocks. It decides if your price is too hot, too cold, or just right. "
― Peter F. Porcelli Jr. , The Politically Incorrect Real Estate Agent Handbook: A Serious How-to Manual with a Sense of Humor
2 " Agency is full of challenging conversations. If you are uncomfortable with discussing your fee with clients, then you're probably not the right person to be representing them. "
3 " Attending classes and reading books are like watching football on television. While each will acquaint you with the game, an armchair quarterback remains unskilled at actual sport. To become skilled at real estate sales, you must actively engage in its activities. To hasten success, practice what this book preaches; doing so will yield more touchdowns than bloody noses. "
4 " Don't ride the real estate roller coaster. Daily prospecting mitigates the ups and downs and loopty-loops of commission-based work. "
5 " Putting makeup on the face of your listing—before the big date—will increase its value in the eyes of buyers. "
6 " Have the wisdom to know when your words are on the cusp of impacting a prospect's actions, and when your scripts are wasted like tooth decay. "
7 " If prospecting feels like begging, then you're doing it wrong. "
8 " Simply creating scripts without attempting memorization is like taking a shower without soap. It might make you feel good in the moment, but you still stink. "
9 " Using children or pets in real estate advertising is cringe-worthy at best. You're basically making a mascot of your offspring for the sake of making a buck. That gap-toothed grin that makes you smile ain't really padding your bottom line. Not to mention the fact that your kid is now in college. "
10 " A healthy addiction to prospecting keeps commission breath in check. "
11 " Real estate is like skinning a cat. While it may have potential as an effective fur-removing endeavor, holding Fluffy by the tail while vigorously brandishing course-grit sandpaper as your arms are clawed to shreds isn't the most efficient manner possible. When the objective is the same for everyone, the strokes one takes determines the scratch one makes. "
12 " Regardless of your client's offer, never feel bad about it or apologize for it when presenting it to your opponent. It's just an offer, not the measles. On the other hand, don't allow a single client to waste your time with fifty offers that don't stand a chance. "
13 " It certainly sounds cliche, but know when to walk away. You're not here to just sit on the pot. "
14 " Negotiation is half what's on paper and half what is said betwixt offers. Because of this, it's easy to slip into verbal negotiations. Keep each offer in the black and white of paper, but continue to color it in with your spoken words. Use conversation to better understand them and to reinforce you. "
15 " Negotiations are not always reasonable events. But remember, people won't agree unless they want to. Even if they complain about it, the deal they signed was preferred over no deal. Otherwise, they would have chosen no deal. Duh. "
16 " One never gets screwed in negotiations, rather he gets exactly what he has negotiated. "
17 " When you find yourself in times of struggle and can find no remedy, avoid these words of victims: I concede. "
18 " Provoking a price reduction sucks butt, so get it right this time. You don't wanna pucker-up for a second round with the same seller. "
19 " When a house is personalized, buyers feel like they're intruding into another's den. Instead, mimic a model home. Pictures of the wedding, fridge magnets from the Jamaican honeymoon, and the thousand frames of Junior's grin gotta go. "
