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21 " At this point in my life, beaming confidence is largely a matter of mind over bladder control "
― Josh Stern , And That’s Why I’m Single
22 " Sure I eat my feelings, but I save the emotional roller coaster for dessert "
23 " I hate pulling out... I mean, I'm really bad at the whole parking thing.... "
24 " To err is human, to accept full responsibility is to just run with it "
25 " Don't ever mistake silence for ignorance, when it is obviously stupidity "
26 " If bliss are a type of potato, then ignorance can be french-fried "
27 " The true genius of a Woman is her subtle flair in creating the illusion that you are the smart one "
28 " Behind every successful man, is a Woman breathing through her mouth "
29 " Only the good die young, the bad petite-mort "
30 " Some people are so positive, that when they slip in dog poop, they pirouette "
31 " Women need a reason to have sex, while men just need an angle "
32 " Love is the canvas covering the furniture that you've become a part of "
33 " I spread eggshells all over my room, so anyone who tries to get close when I sleep will know what they're walking on "
34 " positivity is the father of reinvention "
35 " If positivity is not your mindset, then reset "
36 " If you take things the wrong way, be aware of which end is up "
37 " Dating should really be more like furniture store commercials....I would love to' pay no interest for 6 months "
38 " Does speed dating necessarily end up in a quickie divorce....? "
39 " If you don't fall down now and again, it just means the training wheels are working "
40 " There's always someone we'd love to kill, the trick is to make it not look like an accident "