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And That’s Why I’m Single QUOTES

And That’s Why I’m Single QUOTES

1 " If a picture paints a thousand words, then a naked picture paints a thousand words without any vowels.... "

― Josh Stern , And That’s Why I’m Single

2 " The only way I’d ever die of a broken heart, is if I slammed into something really hard "

― Josh Stern , And That’s Why I’m Single

3 " It's not hard to fail...it's hard to accept you failed...but once that's out of the way, it's pretty smooth sailing "

― Josh Stern , And That’s Why I’m Single

4 " Be nice to people on your way up, because you'll land on them on your way down "

― Josh Stern , And That’s Why I’m Single

5 " Loving someone is sticking a pin through a voodoo doll and not hitting any vital organs "

― Josh Stern , And That’s Why I’m Single

6 " If the love is not madness, then the sex is not insane "

― Josh Stern , And That’s Why I’m Single

7 " Revenge is a dish best served in something microwaveable "

― Josh Stern , And That’s Why I’m Single

8 " In order to butterfly kiss, does it require caterpillar lips? "

― Josh Stern , And That’s Why I’m Single

9 " Manners without sincerity, is called polite society "

― Josh Stern , And That’s Why I’m Single

10 " Anyone can spin a victory, it's a total loss that demands creativity "

― Josh Stern , And That’s Why I’m Single

11 " Everyone comes with baggage, make sure you get one that comes with a rack "

― Josh Stern , And That’s Why I’m Single

12 " If life is a bowl of cherries, what's inside of it? "

― Josh Stern , And That’s Why I’m Single

13 " Patience is learning to take a deep breath while you’re exhaling "

― Josh Stern , And That’s Why I’m Single

14 " If you see the light at the end
of the tunnel, you’re looking
through binoculars the wrong
way "

― Josh Stern , And That’s Why I’m Single

15 " Dr. Suess said: 'Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened..'

I tell my dates: 'Don't cry because it happened, smile because it's over "

― Josh Stern , And That’s Why I’m Single

16 " Friends might lose touch but never lose feelings "

― Josh Stern , And That’s Why I’m Single

17 " Y'know, men and women are a lot alike in certain situations, like sitting on frozen peas after a vasectomy "

― Josh Stern , And That’s Why I’m Single

18 " An alibi is one alliterative consonant short of being a magic carpet "

― Josh Stern , And That’s Why I’m Single

19 " Target your random acts of kindness, to keep a tally of who owes what "

― Josh Stern , And That’s Why I’m Single

20 " If you're stuck in the past, you go forward in reverse "

― Josh Stern , And That’s Why I’m Single