Home > Author > Josh Stern
1 " When it comes to relationships, I find it best to have two feet out the door "
― Josh Stern
2 " If a picture paints a thousand words, then a naked picture paints a thousand words without any vowels.... "
― Josh Stern , And That’s Why I’m Single
3 " The only way I’d ever die of a broken heart, is if I slammed into something really hard "
4 " It's not hard to fail...it's hard to accept you failed...but once that's out of the way, it's pretty smooth sailing "
5 " Be nice to people on your way up, because you'll land on them on your way down "
6 " Loving someone is sticking a pin through a voodoo doll and not hitting any vital organs "
7 " If the love is not madness, then the sex is not insane "
8 " Revenge is a dish best served in something microwaveable "
9 " In order to butterfly kiss, does it require caterpillar lips? "
10 " Manners without sincerity, is called polite society "
11 " Anyone can spin a victory, it's a total loss that demands creativity "
12 " Everyone comes with baggage, make sure you get one that comes with a rack "
13 " If life is a bowl of cherries, what's inside of it? "
14 " Patience is learning to take a deep breath while you’re exhaling "
15 " If you see the light at the end of the tunnel, you’re lookingthrough binoculars the wrongway "
16 " It's always darkest before you're blinded by the light "
17 " Dr. Suess said: 'Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened..' I tell my dates: 'Don't cry because it happened, smile because it's over "
18 " Friends might lose touch but never lose feelings "
19 " Y'know, men and women are a lot alike in certain situations, like sitting on frozen peas after a vasectomy "
20 " An alibi is one alliterative consonant short of being a magic carpet "
