3
" It is an interesting concept, is it not- the idea of never aging? Would it appeal to you, to be rich, beautiful, and eternally young?"
"I think everyone has a desire for perennial youth," I admitted, "but in the end, this is a Faustian, cautionary tale, about vanity and frivolity, and the dangers of trying to interfere with the basic laws of life and death. When I really think about it, I would not wish to be young for ever."
"No? And why not?"
"Because I would be obliged to watch everyone I loved grow old and die."
"What if that were not the case? What if there was one person whom you loved deeply, with whom you could live on for ever, under the same terms?"
I hesitated, then said: "Perhaps then it would prove agreeable, as long it did not involve selling my soul to the Devil. "
― Syrie James , Dracula, My Love: The Secret Journals of Mina Harker
4
" Drink," he said.
I pressed my mouth to the wound, first lapping up the blood as it flowed out, and then sucking deeply from it. I had only tasted blood a few times before, when I had sucked on an injured fingertip. The blood I now imbibed was nothing like the mild, slightly salty liquid that ran in my own veins. Dracula's blood was delicious. It tasted like a deep, rich, full-bodied wine, with a dark, delectable tang. It was ambrosia; I felt as if I could not get enough of it. As I drank, I heard him give an ecstatic little moan. His hand cradled the back of my head and held it there, urging me to continue, while his other hand found and clasped both my hands lovingly in his. "
― Syrie James , Dracula, My Love: The Secret Journals of Mina Harker
5
" He never spoke a word; yet my entire body was aflame. With shameful joy in my heart, I trembled as I moved against his hands, seeking more of the delicious rapture he was giving me. He played me like a stringed instrument, awakening within me a harmony that I had never known existed, producing profound and unimagined tunes.
When I felt him enter me I clung to him, pressing him ever closer, our two bodies fused as one. As he moved with me towards the brink of ecstasy, I was overwhelmed by an intense need that until that moment had never been recognized. All at once, just as I heard his own fevered exclamation, I felt the core of my womanhood explode with pleasure, as if my body had splintered into a thousand brilliant fragments of sensation and light. "
― Syrie James , Dracula, My Love: The Secret Journals of Mina Harker
7
" You have found the person with whom you wish to share all the days of your life." His eyes lifted to mine and settled there, and he added, his voice soft and deep, "I have been searching for such a person for... a very long time."
Under his gaze, I found it hard to breathe. "You will find her one day," I managed.
"Yes," he returned quietly, his eyes never leaving mine, "I believe I shall. "
― Syrie James , Dracula, My Love: The Secret Journals of Mina Harker
9
" Mina: for centuries, I have been alone. I have nearly perished from loneliness, and yet I could not die. I have longed to meet a woman I could truly love: a kindred spirit who shared my dreams, my interests, my passions. When I saw your photograph and read your letters, I had an uncanny premonition that you were destined for me; and once we met, I knew it with a certainty."
His eyes and voice blazed with such passion that all the fear and rancor that had built up within me began to fade away, evaporating like the very mist which had brought him here. He went on:
"From the moment I set eyes on you on that first day at Whitby, I have wanted you- needed you- loved you. But I did not just want you for your blood: I wanted all of you: your mind, your heart, your body, your soul. I wanted you to want me; to become mine of your own free will. The time we shared in Whitby was the sweetest of my existence. "
― Syrie James , Dracula, My Love: The Secret Journals of Mina Harker
10
" I was too stunned to think or move. I knew he desired my blood. And yet I did not want to hinder him. With a flick of his fingers, he untied the ribbon at my collar and pulled open my nightdress at my neck, exposing my collar-bone and upper chest. His mouth instantly found the supersensitive skin at the side of my throat, and at first, butterfly touch, I quivered and moaned in ecstasy. Suddenly, I felt two sharp pricks against my flesh, and I gasped again. The pain was trivial, quickly replaced by a feeling of languid pleasure such as I had never before imagined. It was as if I could feel my blood seeping out of me, and at the same time, something new, magical, and effervescent seemed to be mingling with my own life essence. Soon, it felt as if the tingling, liquid glow that had been throbbing in my very centre was pulsating throughout all the veins in my body, as if every one of my senses was alive and heightened to a fever-pitch- and with it came a sense of impending danger. Deep down inside of me, I knew that this was bad for me- very bad- that if he took too much blood it would kill me- that I must put a stop to it before it was too late. But I had no will to stop it. I heard a strange vibration, like singing through deep water. My head fell back; I heard myself sigh with intense pleasure; my knees began to buckle beneath me. If nirvana existed, I thought, in the remote corner of my mind which could still think, this must be it. I never wanted it to end. "
― Syrie James , Dracula, My Love: The Secret Journals of Mina Harker
12
" I felt his lips press against my hair, then move lower to tenderly kiss my neck. "Mina: for weeks, I have dreamt of bringing you here. I never imagined it could ever be so; yet here you are."
My heart began to pound in earnest now. Did he mean to bite me again? I feared it; yet to my mortification, I wanted him to. I desperately craved the feel of his teeth piercing my flesh, and the intense, erotic rush of pleasure that I knew would follow. I closed my eyes, unable to prevent the anxious gasp that escaped my lips.
I felt him tense. "You are still afraid," he said with deep regret. He let me go abruptly, and stepped back with a small, self-derisive laugh. "Forgive me. I told myself I could be with you and not be tempted. I was wrong. I will do my best to control my appetite hereafter. "
― Syrie James , Dracula, My Love: The Secret Journals of Mina Harker
13
" My love," he said gently, as one hand reached up to caress my face, "you are not still afraid of me?"
"No." My voice seemed to be coming to me from a far-off place. "But we cannot... my husband, I-"
"I assure you, he will remain unconscious. He will never know that I was here."
He drew me to him. I found myself melting into his embrace. It was as if my will had left me; I could no more have pushed him away than I could have ceased to breathe. As he kissed me, I felt all my vows of resistance evaporate, replaced by growing desire. Oh! How could any woman refuse the advances of such a man? I wanted him! How I wanted him!
His mouth left mine, and he looked down at me, his eyes like red flames. I knew what he needed. My heart pounded. I knew I should refuse; but I yearned for it. I untied my nightdress at the collar. He pulled it open to expose my throat. As he bent his head and fastened there, I gave out a sigh, drawing pleasure from it. 'Yes. Yes. Yes. Liquid, molten ecstasy. Nirvana. "
― Syrie James , Dracula, My Love: The Secret Journals of Mina Harker
14
" Since the moment we met, it has been a test of strength and will to keep my hands and teeth off you; but it must end. To be in your company- even if I cannot taste your blood again, or make love to you- yet- it is reward enough for now."
My cheeks reddened at his mention of love-making. In truth, I had indulged in fantasies many times about that very subject, from the time I had first met him as Mr. Wagner, when I was a single woman. The notion had been shocking enough even then; but I was married now. I could never... it was inconceivable.
Nicolae looked at me sharply, apparently reading my thoughts, which made me blush even more deeply. He took my hand in his, brought it to his lips, and kissed it, saying:
"Relax, Mina. I understand that your desires conflict with your curious Victorian sense of propriety and morality. If I have your heart-"
"You have it."
"Then I am willing to forgo the rest at present. "
― Syrie James , Dracula, My Love: The Secret Journals of Mina Harker
