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Third Grave Dead Ahead (Charley Davidson, #3) QUOTES

Third Grave Dead Ahead (Charley Davidson, #3) QUOTES

1 " After a long, labored sigh, I said, “She was really happy when I got there. I’m pretty sure she was suicidal when I left.”
“You do have that effect on people. "

― Darynda Jones , Third Grave Dead Ahead (Charley Davidson, #3)

2 " There is a great need for a sarcasm font. "

― Darynda Jones , Third Grave Dead Ahead (Charley Davidson, #3)

3 " At first, I could lie about my lack of sleep and she'd fall for it, but she started suspecting insomnia when I began seeing purple elephants in the air vents at the office. I knew I shouldn't have asked her about them. I thought maybe she'd redecorated. "

― Darynda Jones , Third Grave Dead Ahead (Charley Davidson, #3)

4 " God I loved Sammy. I’d considered marrying him, but his wife got upset when I asked for his hand. "

― Darynda Jones , Third Grave Dead Ahead (Charley Davidson, #3)

5 " I was never really certain why he scared the bejesus out of me. Nothing scared me growing up. I’ve been playing with dead people since the day I was born, so it’s good thing, yet the Big Bad scared me. Which brings me to the reason I called.”
“Which was to give me nightmares for the rest of my life?”
“Oh, no, that’s just a plus. Why was I so scared of him?”
“Hon, for one thing he was this powerful, massive, black smokelike being.”
“So, you’re saying I’m a racist? "

― Darynda Jones , Third Grave Dead Ahead (Charley Davidson, #3)

6 " There are very few personal problems that can't be solved with a suitable application of high explosives. "

― Darynda Jones , Third Grave Dead Ahead (Charley Davidson, #3)

7 " Have you slept yet?'
'Sure. I took a power nap on the way over.'
'Didn't you drive there?'
'Yeah. Other drviers kept waking me up. Car horns should be illegal.'
- Charley & Cookie "

― Darynda Jones , Third Grave Dead Ahead (Charley Davidson, #3)

8 " Did you catch the time-of-great-suffering thing?”

Her expression softened. “Can you just make sure I’m not around when it happens?”

“No can do,” I said, strolling back to my office with a negating wave of my hand. “If I have to suffer, then so does everyone else within a ten-mile radius.”

She pursed her lips. “What ever happened to taking one for the team?”

“Was never much of a team player.”

“Sacrificing yourself for the greater good?”

“Not that into human sacrifice.”

“Suffering in silence?”

I stopped and turned back to her, my eyes narrowing accusingly. “If I have to suffer, I’ll be screaming your name at the top of my lungs the whole time. You’ll be able to hear me all the way to Jersey, mark my words.”

- Charley to Cookie "

― Darynda Jones , Third Grave Dead Ahead (Charley Davidson, #3)

9 " Gemma Davidson,” she answered, her voice as groggy as I felt.
“Where are you?” I asked.
“Who is this?”
“Elvis.”
“What time is it?”
“Hammer time?”
“Charley.”
“Did you text me? Did your car break down?”
“No and no. Why are you doing this to me?” She was funny.
“Check your cell.”
I heard a loud, sleepy sigh, some rustling of sheets, then, “It won’t come on.”
“Not at all?”
“No. What did you do to it?”
“I ate it for breakfast. Check the battery compartment.”
“Where the hell is that?”
“Um, behind the battery door.”
“Are you punking me?” I heard her fumbling with the phone.
“Gem, if I was going to punk you, I wouldn't simply turn off your phone. I would pour honey in your hair while you slept. Or, you know, something like that.”
“That was you?” she asked, appalled. "

― Darynda Jones , Third Grave Dead Ahead (Charley Davidson, #3)

10 " He had threatened my parents. I had to remember that. Still, it was really hard to stay mad at a wounded naked man. "

― Darynda Jones , Third Grave Dead Ahead (Charley Davidson, #3)

11 " Want coffee?" I asked, as I headed that way.
"It's three thirty in the morning."
"Okay. Want coffee? "

― Darynda Jones , Third Grave Dead Ahead (Charley Davidson, #3)

12 " You totally need to watch the news."
"Can't."
"Why?"
"It's too depressing."
"Right, because hanging with dead people isn't. "

― Darynda Jones , Third Grave Dead Ahead (Charley Davidson, #3)

13 " Hey, I'm going to Super Dog for a quick bite and to pass along a message from a dead guy to his girlfriend. You should come with me."
"I can't go with you."
"Is it because of my questionable morals?"
"No, it's because it's three o'clock in the afternoon and I have to pick up Amber from school."
"Oh, right. So the morals thing doesn't bother you? "

― Darynda Jones , Third Grave Dead Ahead (Charley Davidson, #3)

14 " Do you know how hard it is to diet with a name like Cookie?” “That’s so weird.” I stared off into space, marveling at the similarities of our situation. “It’s hard to diet with a name like Charley, too "

― Darynda Jones , Third Grave Dead Ahead (Charley Davidson, #3)

15 " I'll call if I break a leg or get eaten by a bear."
"Play like a rock."
"Now?"
"No, if a bear starts eating you."
I thought for a moment before replying. "Do they have screaming, sobbing rocks, 'cause that's probably what I'll be doing if a bear is gnawing my arm off."
"It would be difficult to just lay there and be eaten alive, huh?"
"Ya think? "

― Darynda Jones , Third Grave Dead Ahead (Charley Davidson, #3)

16 " Never trust a man with a penis. "

― Darynda Jones , Third Grave Dead Ahead (Charley Davidson, #3)

17 " Lead me not into temptation. I can find it myself. (T-Shirt) "

― Darynda Jones , Third Grave Dead Ahead (Charley Davidson, #3)

18 " If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is NOT for you. (BUMPER STICKER) "

― Darynda Jones , Third Grave Dead Ahead (Charley Davidson, #3)

19 " Ask me about my complete lack of interest. (T-shirt) "

― Darynda Jones , Third Grave Dead Ahead (Charley Davidson, #3)

20 " if everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane(T-Shirt) "

― Darynda Jones , Third Grave Dead Ahead (Charley Davidson, #3)