Home > Author > Darynda Jones

Darynda Jones QUOTES

Darynda Jones QUOTES

1 " After a long, labored sigh, I said, “She was really happy when I got there. I’m pretty sure she was suicidal when I left.”
“You do have that effect on people. "

― Darynda Jones , Third Grave Dead Ahead (Charley Davidson, #3)

2 " Never knock on death's door. Ring the doorbell then run. He totally hates that.
- T-shirt "

― Darynda Jones , First Grave on the Right (Charley Davidson, #1)

3 " My fore-parts, as you so ineloquently put it, have names.”

I pointed to my right breast. “This is Danger.” Then my left. “And this is Will Robinson. I would appreciate it if you addressed them accordingly.”

After a long pause in which he took the time to blink several times, he asked, “You named your breasts?”

I turned my back to him with a shrug. “I named my ovaries, too, but they don’t get out as much. "

― Darynda Jones , First Grave on the Right (Charley Davidson, #1)

4 " I may not look like much, but I'm an expert at pretending to be a ninja. "

― Darynda Jones , First Grave on the Right (Charley Davidson, #1)

5 " There is a great need for a sarcasm font. "

― Darynda Jones , Third Grave Dead Ahead (Charley Davidson, #3)

6 " I stood and walked around the desk so I could stand over him. Menacingly. Like Darth Vader, only with better lung capacity. "

― Darynda Jones , First Grave on the Right (Charley Davidson, #1)

7 " You know you have ADD when Look A chicken - T-shirt "

― Darynda Jones , First Grave on the Right (Charley Davidson, #1)

8 " I like to see the glass as half full, hopefully of jack daniels. "

― Darynda Jones , First Grave on the Right (Charley Davidson, #1)

9 " Insanity does NOT run in my family. It strolls through, takes its time, and gets to know everyone personally. —T-SHIRT "

― Darynda Jones , Fourth Grave Beneath My Feet (Charley Davidson, #4)

10 " At first, I could lie about my lack of sleep and she'd fall for it, but she started suspecting insomnia when I began seeing purple elephants in the air vents at the office. I knew I shouldn't have asked her about them. I thought maybe she'd redecorated. "

― Darynda Jones , Third Grave Dead Ahead (Charley Davidson, #3)

11 " Ambulances were cool. “You just want to fondle my extraneous body parts,” I said to the EMT as I picked up a silver gadget that looked disturbingly like an alien orifice probe, broke it, then promptly put it back, hoping it wouldn’t leave someone’s life hanging in the balance because the EMT couldn’t alien-probe his orifices. "

― Darynda Jones , First Grave on the Right (Charley Davidson, #1)

12 " You called me at four thirty-four....I hate four thirty-four. I think four thirty-four should be banned and replaced with something more reasonable, like, say, nine twelve. "

― Darynda Jones , First Grave on the Right (Charley Davidson, #1)

13 " Sorry. i just can't seem to help myself. My brain is freaking out. Two predawn mornings in a row. It doesn't know what to think, how to act. I'll have a talk with it later. Perhaps get it some counseling. "

― Darynda Jones , Second Grave on the Left (Charley Davidson, #2)

14 " My powers of persuasion are only as strong as the bullshit I have to back it up.
- Charley Davidson "

― Darynda Jones , First Grave on the Right (Charley Davidson, #1)

15 " God I loved Sammy. I’d considered marrying him, but his wife got upset when I asked for his hand. "

― Darynda Jones , Third Grave Dead Ahead (Charley Davidson, #3)

16 " His gaze slid over me like a veil of fire. He could ignite my deepest desires with a single glance. I decided right then and there no more reading romance novels by candelight. "

― Darynda Jones , Second Grave on the Left (Charley Davidson, #2)

17 " I was never really certain why he scared the bejesus out of me. Nothing scared me growing up. I’ve been playing with dead people since the day I was born, so it’s good thing, yet the Big Bad scared me. Which brings me to the reason I called.”
“Which was to give me nightmares for the rest of my life?”
“Oh, no, that’s just a plus. Why was I so scared of him?”
“Hon, for one thing he was this powerful, massive, black smokelike being.”
“So, you’re saying I’m a racist? "

― Darynda Jones , Third Grave Dead Ahead (Charley Davidson, #3)

18 " Nobody wants to look like a fool. Nine times out of ten, that
reason alone keeps people from allowing themselves to believe. "

― Darynda Jones , First Grave on the Right (Charley Davidson, #1)

19 " My goal in life is to have a psychiatric disorder named after me. "

― Darynda Jones , Fifth Grave Past the Light (Charley Davidson, #5)

20 " If it weren’t for physics and law enforcement, I’d be unstoppable. "

― Darynda Jones , Fifth Grave Past the Light (Charley Davidson, #5)