Home > Work > The Unofficial Harry Potter Joke Book: Great Guffaws for Gryffindor
1 " Q. What kind of car does the Dark Lord drive? A. A Vold-vo. "
― Brian Boone , The Unofficial Harry Potter Joke Book: Great Guffaws for Gryffindor
2 " Wizard Bands Phoenix The Mad-Eyed Moody Blues Imagine Dragons "
3 " What Does the Fawkes Say? "
4 " Q. Why were they called Dumbledore’s Army? A. Because they didn’t have the boats to be Dumbledore’s Navy. "
5 " Any fools in the room, please stand up,” Professor Snape said sarcastically. After some silence, a first year stood up. “So, then you consider yourself a fool, do you?” asked Professor Snape. “Not really,” said the student, “but I didn’t want to see you standing up there all by yourself. "
6 " Q. What do you call a Hufflepuff who always has a big bag of stuff with them? A. Dufflepuff. "
7 " . You Know You’re a Potterhead If … "
8 " Q. How do the Malfoys enter a building? A. They Slytherin. "
9 " Q. Did you hear about the Hogwarts student from outer space? A. He was a flying sorcerer. • Q. What do you call a Hufflepuff who works in a casino? A. A Shufflepuff. • Q. What do you call a Hufflepuff who makes fancy chocolate? A. A Trufflepuff. • Q. What do you call a Hufflepuff who makes dresses? A. A Rufflepuff. • Q. What do you call a Hufflepuff who works in a mechanic’s shop? A. A Mufflerpuff. • Q. What do you call a Hufflepuff who gets into fights? A. A Scufflepuff. • Q. What do you call a Hufflepuff who always has a big bag of stuff with them? A. Dufflepuff. "
10 " Q. Why did Crabbe and Goyle cross the road? A. Because Draco told them to. • Q. Why do Slytherins cross the road twice? A. Because they are double-crossers. "
11 " Q. Why did Neville never have a problem finding a place to sit? A. Because of his Longbottom. "
12 " Q. What do wizards put on their ice cream? A. Magic Shell. "
13 " Why did the Slytherin get a job at the post office? A. They liked that he could speak parseltongue. "
14 " Q. Where does Hermione learn everything she knows? A. Witchipedia. • Q. Why didn’t the professors like having twins Padma and Parvati Patil at Hogwarts? A. They never knew which witch was which. "
15 " Q. What did Draco tell his father? A. Everything! "
16 " Q. What’s the difference between Gilderoy Lockhart and Ron’s dad? A. One is an author and "
17 " Q. What does the Potions teacher drink? A. Snapele. "
18 " Q. Where do Hermione’s parents live? A. Back home on the Grange! "
19 " Q. What are Snape’s favorite flowers? A. Lilies. "
20 " Q. What do Harry Potter and Charlie Brown have in common? A. They’re both in love with the little girl with red hair. "