6
" When you stand accused, your character is being tested. The strength of character that you reveal will ultimately determine the Tanks’ perception of you and future behavior toward you. Action Plan Step 1. Hold Your Ground. The first step is to stay put and hold your ground, neither running away nor gearing for battle. Do not change your position, whether you happen to be standing, sitting, leaning, or making up your mind. You don’t have to go on the offensive or the defensive. Instead, silently look the Tank in the eyes, and shift your attention to your breathing. Breathe slowly and deeply. Intentional breathing is a terrific way to regain your self-control. And while you compose yourself, the Tank has the opportunity to fire off a round unimpeded. When Martin found himself under attack, he restrained his impulse to counterattack. Instead, he held his ground. He looked into his boss’s eyes, kept breathing, and waited for the blasting to stop. When it did, Martin asked, “Is that everything?” Apparently, that wasn’t all. The Tank loaded up another round a of abuse and fired it off. Martin held his temper in check, took a slow breath, and asked evenly, “Anything else?” “Why, you ...” Sherman loaded up his last round and fired it off. He was now completely out of ammunition, having said every rotten thing he knew how to say. At that point, he just stood there silently glaring at Martin, as if waiting for an answer will ultimately determine the Tanks’ perception of you and future behavior toward you. "
― , Dealing with People You Can't Stand: How to Bring Out the Best in People at Their Worst
7
" Interrupt the Attack. The best way to interrupt people, whether they are yelling or not, is to evenly say their name over and over again until you have their full attention—first name, last name, title, whatever name you use for them in the normal course of your relationship. In the case of attacking Tanks, it works best to say their name firmly, clearly, and repeatedly, until they stop attacking. Five or six repetitions should be enough to bring the most determined Tank to a halt. Although some Tanks may attempt to override your voice by raising the volume of theirs. Nevertheless, persevere, and continue to repeat their name until they come to a complete stop. "
― , Dealing with People You Can't Stand: How to Bring Out the Best in People at Their Worst
