3
" I was never a child; I never had a childhood. I cannot count among my memories warm, golden days of childish intoxication, long joyous hours of innocence, or the thrill of discovering the universe anew each day. I learned of such things later on in life from books. Now I guess at their presence in the children I see. I was more than twenty when I first experienced something similar in my self, in chance moments of abandonment, when I was at peace with the world. Childhood is love; childhood is gaiety; childhood knows no cares. But I always remember myself, in the years that have gone by, as lonely, sad, and thoughtful.
Ever since I was a little boy I have felt tremendously alone―and "peculiar".
I don't know why.
It may have been because my family was poor or because I was not born the way other children are born; I cannot tell. I remember only that when I was six or seven years old a young aunt of mind called me vecchio―"old man," and the nickname was adopted by all my family. Most of the time I wore a long, frowning face. I talked very little, even with other children; compliments bored me; baby-talk angered me. Instead of the noisy play of the companions of my boyhood I preferred the solitude of the most secluded corners of our dark, cramped, poverty-stricken home. I was, in short, what ladies in hats and fur coats call a "bashful" or a "stubborn" child; and what our women with bare heads and shawls, with more directness, call a rospo―a "toad."
They were right.
I must have been, and I was, utterly unattractive to everybody. I remember, too, that I was well aware of the antipathy I aroused. It made me more "bashful," more "stubborn," more of a "toad" than ever. I did not care to join in the games played by other boys, but preferred to stand apart, watching them with jealous eyes, judging them, hating them. It wasn't envy I felt at such times: it was contempt; it was scorn. My warfare with men had begun even then and even there. I avoided people, and they neglected me. I did not love them, and they hated me. At play in the parks some of the boys would chase me; others would laugh at me and call me names. At school they pulled my curls or told the teachers tales about me. Even on my grandfather's farm in the country peasant brats threw stones at me without provocation, as if they felt instinctively that I belonged to some other breed. "
― Giovanni Papini , Un uomo finito
4
" I was never a child; I never had a childhood. I cannot count among my memories warm, golden days of childish intoxication, long joyous hours of innocence, or the thrill of discovering the universe anew each day. I learned of such things later on in life from books. Now I guess at their presence in the children I see. I was more than twenty when I first experienced something similar in my self, in chance moments of abandonment, when I was at peace with the world. Childhood is love; childhood is gaiety; childhood knows no cares. But I always remember myself, in the years that have gone by, as lonely, sad, and thoughtful.
Ever since I was a little boy I have felt tremendously alone―and "peculiar".
I don't know why.
It may have been because my family was poor or because I was not born the way other children are born; I cannot tell. I remember only that when I was six or seven years old a young aunt of mind called me [i]vecchio[/i]―"old man," and the nickname was adopted by all my family. Most of the time I wore a long, frowning face. I talked very little, even with other children; compliments bored me; baby-talk angered me. Instead of the noisy play of the companions of my boyhood I preferred the solitude of the most secluded corners of our dark, cramped, poverty-stricken home. I was, in short, what ladies in hats and fur coats call a "bashful" or a "stubborn" child; and what our women with bare heads and shawls, with more directness, call a [i]rospo[/i]―a "toad."
They were right.
I must have been, and I was, utterly unattractive to everybody. I remember, too, that I was well aware of the antipathy I aroused. It made me more "bashful," more "stubborn," more of a "toad" than ever. I did not care to join in the games played by other boys, but preferred to stand apart, watching them with jealous eyes, judging them, hating them. It wasn't envy I felt at such times: it was contempt; it was scorn. My warfare with men had begun even then and even there. I avoided people, and they neglected me. I did not love them, and they hated me. At play in the parks some of the boys would chase me; others would laugh at me and call me names. At school they pulled my curls or told the teachers tales about me. Even on my grandfather's farm in the country peasant brats threw stones at me without provocation, as if they felt instinctively that I belonged to some other breed. "
― Giovanni Papini , Un uomo finito
5
" A ciência é uma sucessão de hipóteses que se contradizem, de teorias que se contrapõem, de concepções caducas e de esperanças mortas. E a Ciência, tal como soterrou a Magia, poderá um dia ser morta e substituída por um modo de conhecimento superior.
Vangloria-se de reduzir as fadigas e as infelicidades dos homens e, com a a ajuda proporcionada à indústria, multiplicou as necessidades e, portanto, o trabalho e a escravidão, aumentando com os conhecimentos inúteis e a vida mais insaciável, a nossa carga de dores.
Pretende substituir-se ao sacerdote e não consegue responder às exigências mais desesperadas acerca do destino e da morte, pelo que os homens, após uma longa embriaguez de cientismo, regressam, pouco a pouco, às revelações da fé. "
― Giovanni Papini , Relatório sobre os Homens
7
" Mas como esta raça de imbecis se reúne com frequência com medo da solidão, ou seja, do tédio, torna-se necessário que, depois de escutar um pouco de música, saborear uma bebida e entregar-se a algum jogo, falem uns com os outros. Em que poderia consistir a troca de palavras entre pessoas que não têm nada para dizer? Cérebros desabitados, almas desertas, cabides ambulantes encimados por rostos mascarados que se inibem do que é verdadeiramente humano e profundo, podem palrar, mas não falar. Com efeito - à parte o papaguear de notícias e opiniões recolhidas dos jornais da manhã e que todos já conhecem -, as conversas compõem-se de mexericos sobre escândalos importantes ou exagerados, elogios aos presentes, maledicência acerca dos ausentes e comentários quase sempre impregnados de subentendidos sexuais. "
― Giovanni Papini , Relatório sobre os Homens
13
" Ogni libro è, in qualche senso, un nemico, un invasore (vuol sostituire altri pensieri ai tuoi, condurti a sentire a modo suo ecc.). Bisogna, per conseguenza, difendersi. Leggere a mano armata. L'arma più adatta (di quelle materiali) è un lapis di colore. Uno di quei lapis massicci dal tronco esagonale, con una punta rossa e una turchina. E con quello ferire nei margini (zona più vulnerabile) il libro che si sta leggendo, con lunghi tratti violenti, con esclamativi senza pietà, con interrogativi insidiosi, con frecce di aperta disapprovazione. Non tutti i libri, si capisce, meritano questo trattamento guerrigliero, ma sì quelli che si devono leggere per forza, e quelli che disonorano uno scrittore, e quelli infine che tradiscono le promesse del titolo o della fama, e quelli infine che si leggono apposta per smaltire gli umori marziali. "
― Giovanni Papini
17
" I know that our efforts all come to nothing. I know the end of us all is nothing, I know that at the end of Time, the reward of our toil will be nothing— and again nothing. I know that all our handiwork will be destroyed. I know that not even ash will be left from the fires that consume us. I know that our ideals, even those we achieve, will vanish in the eternal darkness of oblivion and final non-being. There is no hope, none, in my heart. No promise, none, can I make to myself and to others. No recompense can I expect for my labors. No fruit will be born of my thoughts. The Future—eternal seducer of all men, eternal cause of all effects—offers me nothing but the blank prospect of annihilation. "
― Giovanni Papini , Un uomo finito
18
" Se vor gândi că și-au sacrificat prezentul pentru un viitor care, la rândul său, avea să devină prezent și care, la rându-i, avea să fie sacrificat pentru un alt viitor și tot așa până la ultimul prezent, până la moarte. Întreaga valoare a lui Azi rezida în Mâine, iar Mâinele conta doar pentru un alt Mâine și astfel sosea și ultimul Azi, Azi-ul definitiv, și-așa trecea toată viața pentru a pregăti, zi după zi, ceas după ceas, clipă după clipă, ceva care nu vine niciodată. Și ei vor descoperi adevărul acesta cumplit: că viitorul nu există ca viitor, că viitorul nu este decât o invenție și o parte a prezentului, iar faptul de a îndura existența agitată, viața tristă, viața nefericită, pentru acest viitor care îți scapă și se îndepărtează cu fiecare zi, este cea mai dureroasă tâmpenie din existența aceasta atât de stupidă. "
― Giovanni Papini , Povestiri stranii
19
" The man who is alone, who stands on his own feet, who is stripped bare, who asks for nothing and wants nothing, who has reached the apex of disinterestedness not through blind renunciation but through excess of clear vision, turns to the world which stretches out before him as a burned prairie, as a devastated city —a world in which no churches, asylums, refuges, ideals, are left—and says: “Though you promise me nothing I am still with you, I am still an atom of your energies, my work is part of your work; I am your companion and your mirror as you march on your merciless way. "
― Giovanni Papini , Un uomo finito
