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" experiential avoidance.” Experiential avoidance means the ongoing attempt to avoid, escape from, or get rid of unwanted thoughts, feelings, and memories—even when doing so is harmful, useless, or costly. (We call this “experiential avoidance” because thoughts, feelings, memories, sensations, etc., are all “private experiences.”) Experiential avoidance is a major cause of depression, anxiety, drug and alcohol addiction, eating disorders, and a vast number of other psychological problems. "
― Russ Harris , The Happiness Trap: How to Stop Struggling and Start Living: A Guide to ACT
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" At this point, let’s take a moment to recall that defusion is all about acceptance. The idea is not to get rid of these images but to let go of struggling with them. Why should you accept them? Because the reality is, for the rest of your life, in one form or another, scary pictures will appear. Remember, your mind evolved from a “don’t get killed” device. It saved your ancestors’ hides by sending them warnings: an image of a bear sleeping in the back of that cave or of a hungry sabre-toothed tiger crouched on that rock. So after a hundred thousand years of evolution, your mind is not suddenly going to say, “Oh, hang on a minute. I no longer live in a cave, vulnerable to bears and tigers—I don’t need to keep sending out these warnings anymore.” Sorry, but minds don’t work like that. "
― Russ Harris , The Happiness Trap: How to Stop Struggling and Start Living: A Guide to ACT
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" Whenever an urge arises, you have two choices: act upon it or don’t act upon it. Therefore, once you are aware of an urge, you need to ask yourself, “If I act on this urge, will I be acting like the person I want to be? Will it help take my life in the direction I want to go?” If the answer is yes, then it makes sense to act on that urge. For instance, if you’ve been nasty to someone and you’re feeling guilty, you may have an urge to apologize. If this is consistent with who you want to be and what you want to stand for, then it’s sensible to go ahead and apologize. "
― Russ Harris , The Happiness Trap: How to Stop Struggling and Start Living: A Guide to ACT
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" Great advice about how to improve your life comes at you from all directions: find a meaningful job, do this great workout, get out in nature, take up a hobby, join a club, contribute to charity, learn new skills, have fun with your friends, and so on. And all these activities can be deeply satisfying if you do them because they are genuinely important and meaningful to you. But if these activities are used mainly to escape from unpleasant thoughts and feelings, chances are, they won’t be very rewarding. Why not? Because it’s hard to enjoy what you’re doing while you’re trying to escape from something threatening. "
― Russ Harris , The Happiness Trap: How to Stop Struggling and Start Living: A Guide to ACT