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1 " Building a good relationship with ourselves is essential for inner fulfilment, especially when we run into a large reality gap. "
― Russ Harris , The Reality Slap: Finding Peace and Fulfillment When Life Hurts
2 " The feeling of love comes and goes on a whim; you can't control it. But the action of love is something you can do, regardless of how you are feeling. "
― Russ Harris , ACT with Love: Stop Struggling, Reconcile Differences, and Strengthen Your Relationship with Acceptance and Commitment Therapy
3 " Instead of a feeling, think of love as an action. The feeling of love comes and goes on a whim; you can’t control it. But the action of love is something you can do, regardless of how you are feeling. "
― Russ Harris
4 " The more importance we place on avoiding unpleasant feelings in life, the more our life tends to go downhill. "
5 " What holds you back is not fear, but your attitude towards it. The tighter you hold on to the attitude that fear is something ‘bad’ and you can’t do the things you want until it goes away, the more stuck you will be. "
― Russ Harris , The Confidence Gap
6 " We need to pay attention with a particular attitude: one of openness, curiosity, and receptiveness. "
7 " Our thoughts are not the problem. Our thoughts do not create the psychological smog. It is the way we respond to our thoughts that creates the smog. "
8 " Stop trying to control how you feel, and instead take control of what you do. "
9 " The fact that you can act with love even when you don’t feel love is very empowering. Why? Because whereas the feelings of love are fleeting and largely out of your control, you can take the actions of love anytime and anyplace for the whole rest of your life. "
10 " Fear is not your enemy. It is a powerful source of energy that can be harnessed and used for your benefit. "
11 " Rule 1: The actions of confidence come first; the feelings of confidence come later. "
12 " Commitment isn’t about being perfect, always following through, or never going astray. Commitment means that when you (inevitably) stumble or get off track, you pick yourself up, find your bearings, and carry on in the direction you want to go. "
13 " The more we try to avoid the basic reality that all human life involves pain, the more we are likely to struggle with that pain when it arises, thereby creating even more suffering. "
― Russ Harris , The Happiness Trap: How to Stop Struggling and Start Living: A Guide to ACT
14 " TEN RULES FOR WINNING THE GAME OF CONFIDENCE The actions of confidence come first; the feelings of confidence come later. Genuine confidence is not the absence of fear; it is a transformed relationship with fear. Negative thoughts are normal. Don’t fight them; defuse them. Self-acceptance trumps self-esteem. True success is living by your values. Hold your values lightly, but pursue them vigorously. Don’t obsess about the outcome; get passionate about the process. Don’t fight your fear: allow it, befriend it, and channel it. Failure hurts—but if we’re willing to learn, it’s a wonderful teacher. The key to peak performance is total engagement in the task. "
15 " Success in life means living by your values. "
16 " If you’re living a goal-focused life, then no matter what you have, it’s never enough "
17 " Psychological flexibility is the ability to adapt to a situation with awareness, openness, and focus and to take effective action, guided by your values. "
18 " Any search for a "pain-free existence" is doomed to failure. "
19 " In ACT, our main interest in a thought is not whether it’s true or false, but whether it’s helpful; that is, if we pay attention to this thought, will it help us create the life we want? "
20 " The mind loves telling stories; in fact, it never stops. "
