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161 " BACCHUS, n. A convenient deity invented by the ancients as an excuse for getting drunk. "
― Ambrose Bierce , The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary
162 " It has been observed that one's nose is never so happy as when thrust into the affairs of others from which some physiologists have drawn the inference that the nose is devoid of the sense of smell. "
163 " War: A by-product of the arts of peace. "
164 " As a means of dispensing formulated ignorance our boasted public school system is not without merit; it spreads out education sufficiently thin to give everyone enough to make him a more competent fool than he would have been without it... "
― Ambrose Bierce
165 " Debt is an ingenious substitute for the chain and whip of the slavedriver. "
166 " Human nature is pretty well balanced; for every lacking virtue there is a rough substitute that will serve at a pinch--as cunning is the wisdom of the unwise, and ferocity the courage of the coward. "
― Ambrose Bierce , A Cynic Looks at Life
167 " love, n. A temporary insanity curable by marriage of by removal of the patient from the influences under which he/she incurred the disorder. This disease, like Caries and many other ailments, is prevalent only among civilized races living under artificial conditions; barbarous nations breathing pure air and eating simple food enjoy immunity from its ravages. It is sometimes fatal, but more frequently to the physician than the patient. "
168 " Immigrant: An unenlightened person who thinks one country better than another. "
169 " CLAIRVOYANT, n. A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron, namely, that he is a blockhead. "
170 " Diplomacy,n. The patriotic art of lying for one's country. "
171 " Alone, adj. In bad company. "
172 " HAND, n. A singular instrument worn at the end of the human arm and commonly thrust into somebody's pocket. "
173 " PRESENT, n. That part of eternity dividing the domain of disappointment from the realm of hope. "
174 " BEAUTY, n. The power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband. "
175 " Miss, n. A title with which we brand unmarried women to indicate they are in the market. Miss, Misses (Mrs.) and Mister (Mr.) are the three most distinctly disagreeable words in the language, in sound and sense. Two are corruptions of Mistress, the other of Master. In the general abolition of social titles in this our country they miraculously escaped to plague us. If we must have them let us be consistent and give one to the unmarried man. I venture to suggest Mush, abbreviated to Mh. "
176 " San Francisco is the place where most people were last seen "
177 " Consult, v.t. To seek another’s approval of a course already decided on. Contempt, n. The feeling of a prudent man for an enemy who is too formidable safely to be opposed. "
178 " Painting: The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather and exposing them to the critic. "
179 " Aborigines, n. Persons of little worth found cumbering the soil of a newly discovered country. They soon cease to cumber; they fertilize. "
180 " RELIGION, n. A daughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to Ignorance the nature of the Unknowable. "