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101 " POLITICIAN, n. An eel in the fundamental mud upon which the superstructure of organized society is reared. When he wriggles he mistakes the agitation of his tail for the trembling of an edifice. As compared with the statesman, he suffers the disadvantage of being alive. "
― Ambrose Bierce , The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary
102 " Her locks an ancient lady gaveHer loving husband's life to save;And men — they honored so the dame —Upon some stars bestowed her name.But to our modern married fair,Who'd give their lords to save their hair,No stellar recognition's given.There are not stars enough in heaven. "
103 " PLATITUDE, n. The fundamental element and special glory of popular literature. A thought that snores in words that smoke. The wisdom of a million fools in the diction of a dullard. A fossil sentiment in artificial rock. A moral without the fable. All that is mortal of a departed truth. A demi-tasse of milk-and-mortality. The Pope's-nose of a featherless peacock. A jelly-fish withering on the shore of the sea of thought. The cackle surviving the egg. A desiccated epigram. "
104 " Oyster, n. A slimy, gobby shellfish which civilization gives men the hardihood to eat without removing its entrails! "
― Ambrose Bierce
105 " Bride, n. - A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her. "
106 " In Bacon we see the culminating primeOf British intellect and British crime. "
107 " Acquaintance: "A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to. A degree of friendship called slight when its object is poor or obscure, and intimate when he is rich or famous. "
108 " Over all was that air of abandonment and decay which seems nowhere so fit and significant as in a village of the forgotten dead. "
― Ambrose Bierce , The Death of Halpin Frayser
109 " ABOMINABLE, adj. The quality of another's opinions. "
― Ambrose Bierce , Collected Works: The Devil's Dictionary, Fantastic Fables and More! (18 Works)
110 " God hates a coward... "
― Ambrose Bierce , The Damned Thing
111 " AMATEUR, n. A public nuisance who mistakes taste for skill, and confounds his ambition with his ability. "
112 " there may be thunder in Europe but it is in America the lightning will fall "
― Ambrose Bierce ,
113 " BANG, n. The cry of a gun. That arrangement of a woman's hair which suggests the thought of shooting her; hence the name. "
114 " Dictionary, n. A malevolent literacy device for cramping the growth of a language and making it hard and inelastic. "
115 " BALLOT, n. A simple device by which a majority proves to a minority the folly of resistance. Many worthy persons of imperfect thinking apparatus believe that majorities govern through some inherent right; and minorities submit, not because they must, but because they ought. "
116 " ABDOMEN, n. [1.] The temple of the god Stomach, in whose worship, with sacrificial rights, all true men engage. From women this ancient faith commands but a stammering assent. They sometimes minister at the altar in a half-hearted and ineffective way, but true reverence for the one deity that men really adore they know not. If woman had a free hand in the world's marketing the race would become graminivorous. [2.] A shrine enclosing the object. "
117 " OPIATE, n. An unlocked door in the prison of Identity. It leads into the jail yard. "
118 " SAINT, n. A dead sinner revised and edited. "
119 " Si deseas que tus sueños se hagan realidad, ¡despierta! "
120 " Cogito cogito ergo cogito sum -- "I think that I think, therefore I think that I am;" as close an approach to certainty as any philosopher has yet made. "