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21 " Stop it, girl. There’s no way he’s five-years-old. Or one hundred. He’s probably like every other CEO on the planet: Late twenties, handsome in that geeky sort of way, and just as awkward as you. I breathe a sigh of relief, because I know I’m probably right. "
― Andrew Shaffer , Fifty-one Shades: A Parody (First Three Chapters)
22 " No man is an island,” he says. “Islands are made of dirt and rocks and trees. I don’t know any people made of such things. Therefore, people are not islands. "
23 " We passed a pickup that was doing fifty-five in a fifty-five. Clearly a sociopath. "
― Andrew Shaffer , Hope Never Dies (Obama Biden Mysteries, #1)
24 " I growl with frustration at my reflection in the mirror. Damn my hair – it’s fifty shades of fucked up. The situation I’m in is fifty shades of fucked up. I’m supposed to be studying for my finals; my roommate, Kathleen, should be the one fussing with her hair in front of the mirror right now. Instead, I’m trying to brush my hair into submission. Why is my hair so kinky? I need to stop sleeping with it wet, because it always ends up out of control. As I brush my long, brown hair, the girl in the mirror with blue eyes too big for her head stares back at me. Wait...I don’t have blue eyes! Then I realize I haven’t been looking into the mirror. I’ve been staring at a poster of Kristen Stewart for five minutes. My own hair is actually fine. "
25 " There are certain things worth getting mad about. Injustice is one of them. The greatest sins on this earth are committed by people of standing and means who abuse their power. "
26 " Who is this man I’m supposed to interview, this man whose last name is the same as the color of my sweatpants? Is that a sign? "
27 " Mr. Gray,” I mutter. He’s smiling again like the Big Bad Wolf who wants to eat me. And boy, do I want him to eat m–“I just happened to be in the area,” he says, cutting off my internal monologue. “I needed to pick up a few supplies, and here you are. What a pleasant surprise.” His voice is cool and husky like a Wendy’s Frosty shake, with just a little bit of grit (also like a Frosty). "
28 " He hands me his shopping list and I lead him through the store in search of the items. Duct tape? Plastic wrap? A hacksaw? Who is this guy, Dexter? "
29 " Barack once told me that, at the end of the day, every one of us is just part of a long-running story. All we can do is try to get our paragraph right. "
30 " When a cemetery dies, where do you bury it? "
31 " It’s fifteen minutes until two when I arrive – just in time for the interview. I walk through the glass doors and into the lobby, which is also floor-to-ceiling glass and steel. This fascinates me, because buildings back in Portland are made of grass and mud. "
32 " Our pain is ours, and ours alone. All others can do is mitigate the damage. "
33 " The changes we’d made were being rolled back by the new administration. It was almost like we’d never been in office. "
34 " We were entering a new age, one where there were no absolutes like right or wrong. The worst part was that it felt like everyone else had already been living there for a long time. I was finally just catching on. "
35 " We don’t abandon our friends just because the going gets rough. "
36 " The current administration knew how to do one thing right: If you wanted to push through an unpopular agenda with minimal resistance, distract the bastards. Do something every day to grab the headlines—something big, bold, and preferably stupid—thereby banishing the dull stories about how you were systematically dismantling the country to the back pages with the Hagar comics. "
37 " Just remember, you don’t judge a man’s character by what he does when things are easy. You judge him by what he does when they’re hard. "
38 " passed a room where twenty or so residents were lounging in front of a big-screen TV tuned to Fox News. Half were snoring. The other half, I assume, had advanced dementia—it was their only possible excuse for not changing the channel. When "
39 " The moral arc of the universe bends toward justice, but sometimes the universe needs a little help. "
40 " roommate, "