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Dani Alexander QUOTES

Dani Alexander QUOTES

1 " Gay sex, one. Straight sex, zero "

― Dani Alexander , Shattered Glass (Shattered Glass, #1)

2 " Hard-ons don't make you think less. They make you think stupid. "

― Dani Alexander , Shattered Glass (Shattered Glass, #1)

3 " Out of curiosity, when do I grow up and become a fullfledged
man with a penis?”
“When words like ‘hump day’ don’t make you giggle like a
twelve-year-old,” he retorted, blowing smoke my way.
“Wow, that long? "

― Dani Alexander , Shattered Glass (Shattered Glass, #1)

4 " When I was in eighth grade, I used a self-timing camera to take nude pictures of myself in various stages of erection. I then exchanged my biology teacher’s slides with the images. The teacher, in a state of panic, kept rapidly pressing the ‘next’ button. It was like a pornographic flip-book. That was the last straw in a very heavy pile of straws. I was expelled, and I ended up transferring mid-year from boarding school to a public school near home. "

― Dani Alexander , Shattered Glass (Shattered Glass, #1)

5 " I had one friend with same-sex orientation, and Dana hadn't spoken to me since I asked her to describe her honeymoon in graphic detail—and then made vibrator noises. "

― Dani Alexander , Shattered Glass (Shattered Glass, #1)

6 " Whiskey, glass, pour, toss back, glare. Repeat. “Cop out,” I slurred in retaliation, pointing the empty glass at Peter.
“Don’t get drunk. Fuck. I need you sober,” he yelled, snatching the glass out of my hand.
“There’s the problem right there. You need me sober. You need my help. You need something from me.” I laughed, tossing the bottle on the sofa, ignoring the glug glug glug as it emptied over my cushions. “And I just need you.”
“Need me to what?” He asked with a huff, tipping the bottle right-side up.
“Nothing. I just need you,” I whispered and flopped into a nearby recliner. "

― Dani Alexander , Shattered Glass (Shattered Glass, #1)

7 " Peter to Austin:
"Hard-ons don't make you think less. They make you think stupid. Which makes me think you must have one 24/7. "

― Dani Alexander , Shattered Glass (Shattered Glass, #1)

8 " Then I guess the rest of my life will be resigned to doggy style sex." The words were out of my mouth before I could think about them. "I mean however long...when we're...that wasn't a fucking proposal."
"Okay."
"Don't smile that. Smugness doesn't become you."
"Okay."
"Scoot the fuck over. You're hogging the bed."

Austin and Peter. :') "

― Dani Alexander , Shattered Glass (Shattered Glass, #1)

9 " Tell me something good about your life," I whispered, needing to hear that he wasn't as broken as I thought him to be.
Peter breathed into the handset for about two minutes. I began wondering if he was about to hang up, or had fallen asleep, when he answered. "You."
It was so quiet I almost didn't hear it. And then he hung up before I could ask him to repeat himself.
I fell asleep, grinning, with the phone still clutched in my hand and my milk souring on the coffee table. "

― Dani Alexander , Shattered Glass (Shattered Glass, #1)

10 " Gay Sex Three, Straight Sex Nil "

― Dani Alexander , Shattered Glass (Shattered Glass, #1)

11 " Do you know what I did to the last guy that called me Tinkerbelle?"

"Slept with him?"

Darryl was silent for a second. "After that. "

― Dani Alexander , Shattered Glass (Shattered Glass, #1)

12 " Your daughter is gay? Where are all these gay people coming from? Gay friends. Gay daughters of friends. Gay sisters-in-law. Gay suspects. I ask one guy for a kiss and suddenly I’m living in Ancient Greece. "

― Dani Alexander , Shattered Glass (Shattered Glass, #1)

13 " At some point all of this is going to catch up with me,” I said.

“What is?”

“Gay, boyfriend, job loss, career in the toilet, gay, criminals in my house, criminals in my bed.”

“You said the gay thing twice.”

“It deserves double billing. "

― Dani Alexander , Shattered Glass (Shattered Glass, #1)

14 " Do you know why I like dogs and not cats? Because when
you’re talking to dogs, they don’t walk away in order to rim
themselves.

~Austin to Cai's cat Begone Cai's, also known as the "fucking hairball with the crazies. "

― Dani Alexander

15 " What the fuck are you doing with your life?”

“Dating hookers, learning the gay, housing criminals, pissing off my fellow cops, and taking in what everyone says is a cat, but which I’m definitely sure is not a cat. I’m undecided on its actual species. I think it’s a cross between a rat and some kind of alien life— "

― Dani Alexander , Shattered Glass (Shattered Glass, #1)

16 " I would just like to throw out there that we can all stop talking about putting things up my ass. No fly zone. Do not enter. No parking. "

― Dani Alexander , Shattered Glass (Shattered Glass, #1)

17 " What is wrong with you?” He glared at me.


“I’m somewhat sure I’m suddenly gay,” I shrugged, “My father and mother are hypocritical abandoning homophobic assholes. The former defending my chief suspect in the biggest case of my life—something I’m sure you had a hand in. I’m obsessed with your freckles, your bunny slippers and your lips—which I should be getting points for not kissing while you’re incapacitated, by the way. I’m dating a whore while working on the vice squad—points to me again for not arresting your ass for that—and I’m ridiculously horny. Oh, and my fiancée won’t talk to me. "

― Dani Alexander , Shattered Glass (Shattered Glass, #1)

18 " Clean," Peter said.
"Can I get a water bottle or something to clean his hands?" I scanned the crowd. He drew my attention back to him with a pull of my hand.
"No," Peter said. "I'm...clean."
I had missed who Peter was until that very moment...
I broke. It wasn't a visible fracture. I didn't sob or explode into anguish. I didn't give in to my vomitus urge that came from the burst of self-loathing. But I shattered nonetheless.
"Well, you look filthy," I said, hitting redial on his phone and jamming it to my ear. "

― Dani Alexander , Shattered Glass (Shattered Glass, #1)

19 " Fucking cracker,” Alvarado hissed as he was shoved into the patrol car.


“Aw, that’s discrimination, right there.” I feigned hurt. “See, I see you as scumbag first, Alvarado. Or dick-cheese. Scumsucking pedophile. Asshole. The fact that you’re Hispanic doesn’t even factor into it. "

― Dani Alexander , Shattered Glass (Shattered Glass, #1)

20 " People aren't always who they seem, Detective. Am I anything like you thought?"
"No," I admitted. You're a million times better than I could have imagined. "

― Dani Alexander , Shattered Glass (Shattered Glass, #1)