Man Hands (Man Hands, #1) QUOTES

2 " She hums. And when she lifts her gaze to look me in the eye, it’s a challenge not to humiliate myself.I wind her hair around my hand and quietly convert carpentry fractions into decimals. Three eighths is .375. Five eighths is…
She gives a good, hard suck.
“POINT SIX TWO FIVE!” I bellow.
Her mouth makes a popping sound as she releases me. “Come again?”
“I’m trying not to,” I gasp. "

― Sarina Bowen , Man Hands (Man Hands, #1)

4 " Explain your type again.” Ash says. “Let’s define the problem.”
I squint my eyes, because everyone knows that makes you smarter. I didn’t know I had a type, but when I look back at my few exes over the years… yeah, there seems to be a pattern. “Frail-looking, vegetarian or gluten free, intellectual, ironic, good hygiene.”
Sadie and Ash just look at me for a beat. “Thank God we’re helping you.” Ash says. “I mean, what the fuck? Why didn’t we notice this before?”
Sadie is nodding.
Ash says, “so we just need to find someone who’s huge, a carnivore, doesn’t talk, smells manly and… what’s the opposite of ironic?”
“I have no idea. Let’s simplify it. We’re looking for a man, instead of what you’ve been attracted to.”
“What have I been attracted to?”
“Gwyneth Paltrow I’m pretty sure. And every time I see her on TV, I just want to kick her. "

― Sarina Bowen , Man Hands (Man Hands, #1)

6 " Not bigger! my dick protests. Have you seen me? "

― Sarina Bowen , Man Hands (Man Hands, #1)

8 " One adventure after another. Awkward, ridiculous, and beautiful all at once. "

― Sarina Bowen , Man Hands (Man Hands, #1)

10 " I feel something, and I think I’ll call it a ghost erection. Man, am I hung! And I arch a little more. "

― Sarina Bowen , Man Hands (Man Hands, #1)

12 " Tom’s Dick Yes! What he said! Come to papa! Last one in is a… Ahhhhhh. Right…there. Finally. "

― Sarina Bowen , Man Hands (Man Hands, #1)

14 " Over my ten years as a host for Mr. Fixit Quick, I’ve had my share of crazy moments. You’d think I’d learn that when a body in motion comes charging toward me, I’d have the sense to maybe step out of the way. But noooooo. Nope. No. I brace myself like I’m back in high school, and I’m a defensive back. I see her coming, and I’m like, “Fuck yeah. I’ve got this, coach. "

― Sarina Bowen , Man Hands (Man Hands, #1)

16 " Tom! There’s a TV screen embedded in the mirror. Just in case you really need to poop during those final minutes of the big game.” I giggle. "

― Sarina Bowen , Man Hands (Man Hands, #1)

18 " you have a really nice sex face. My sex face looks like I just farted. "

― Sarina Bowen , Man Hands (Man Hands, #1)