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101 " Oh, I have plenty of problems with Rabbit, it’s just that my comfort level with his name is standing in line behind about a hundred more important things. "
― Elle Lothlorien , Alice in Wonderland
102 " I don’t think Australians ever use a couple of words when twenty will do just fine. "
103 " How do you tactfully spin the term “man-whore” to someone’s sister? "
104 " Now see, if it were me, I wouldn’t have led with that. I would’ve gone with something like ‘G’day’ or ‘Wow, aren’t you a little hottie? "
105 " Did you think your boyfriend was going to stick around and watch you do THAT? If we weren’t related, I would’ve left too. Actually…is it already too late for me to leave? "
106 " That’s the thing you girls never get. It doesn't matter if you just woke up, or just got done bawling, or just finished your make-up. When a guy’s all love-sick over a chick, she looks exactly the same to him all the time: perfect. "
107 " My butt has a maximum drive time of seven hours. "
108 " I’m busy trying not to look like anything edible. "
109 " First, I’d like to point out that I didn’t use ‘one of mine.’ You refused to let me pay for my ice cream cone with a good ol’ fashioned credit card, and you forced your pretend money on me. Secondly, I can’t take any currency seriously that looks like it belongs in a psychedelic-inspired Special Edition Monopoly box. "
110 " Don’t make me Alice-nap you, Alice. Because you know I can carry you. "
111 " Basic economic theory. People behave differently based on how much they think something’s worth. Because everyone got their chips for free, people made huge bets on every hand—no matter what they were holding. People who play with everything on the line—for real—don’t act like that. "
112 " I use the word “man” loosely. A better description would be “the most beautiful specimen of Homo sapiens sapiens with a set of XY chromosomes to grace the planet Earth at this moment, or any other era, epoch, or age in history. "
113 " The line from Pulp Fiction—the one Samuel L. Jackson shouts at John Travolta as they’re trying to wash blood off their hands—pops into my head: 'I used the same soap you did and when I dried my hands, the towel didn't look like no fuckin’ maxi-pad!' I almost—almost—share this most quotable of cinematic quotes with him, when I remember it contains The Word. You know: 'maxi-pad. "
114 " When she reaches down to touch his shoulder—a gesture only a few species and a million or so years removed from lifting a leg and marking him as her territory with a stream of urine—enough bracelets and bangles to lay track across the Australian Outback slide down her arm and come to a jangling stop at her wrist. "
115 " Do you really think I’d let him call my sister a ‘bitch?’ Or you for that matter? Talon Hawk’s dumb, but he’s smarter than that…he’d be crawling around on his hands and knees picking his teeth off the tiles. "
116 " Like your sweet, affectionate house cat, Alice Dahl is easy to underestimate. It’s not until the songbirds in the yard show up eviscerated on the front porch that you realize you should’ve kept that bell collar on her—because those poor birds never even saw her coming. "
117 " I’m almost afraid to tell you. Let’s put it this way: clean toilets are the least of your problems in this country. "
118 " I’ve found that lifting the lid with your foot is the most thorough and least gross path to two minutes of peace of mind. "
119 " . I’ve watched about a dozen tourists almost get hit by cars since I’ve been here. I barely made it to the beach alive the other day. I mean, no one knows what they’re doing. They swing their heads back and forth like they’re mounted on a door hinge, but they don’t even know what they’re looking for, not really. Cars just come at you from all sorts of unnecessary directions here, and we’re all probably going to get killed. "
120 " Because trying to think of how to ask a woman you’ve known for exactly two days if she’d be willing to get into a car with you and take a road trip across the country was something I hadn’t quite worked up to yet. "