Home > Work > Rewriting My Happily Ever After - A Memoir of Divorce and Discovery
41 " Childhood is a time of openness and acceptance, of gullibility and trust, of fun and friendships. The bonds formed in the early years of life remain strong because on some level you realize that you and the other person are bundles of pure potential. You don’t know how you will turn out. What will you become? How will you see and how will you be seen by the world? Despite the unknowns, there is a nonjudgmental acceptance of each other. "
― Ranjani Rao , Rewriting My Happily Ever After - A Memoir of Divorce and Discovery
42 " Dates marked on a calendar are like babies: innocent and untainted. When we assign significance to one particular date—a wedding day for instance—we expand its notional value, even if it is precious only to us. The value of a day (or a baby) increases in proportion to our attachment to it. "
43 " Please God, let me be a mother.” The world stopped. I ceased to exist as a woman with a prayer. I became the prayer, the smoke, the fire, the air, the sound. "
44 " With my divorce, I had to keep both my grief and relief private. No one, not even my closest family members, could comprehend the complicated feelings that washed over me. No one I knew had experienced this kind of loss. "
45 " In that moment, I dissolved into eternity, a feeling that was both intense and fleeting. I floated above myself while still remaining connected to the bones and skin that made up my body. All of my thoughts and emotions felt petty and trivial in the grand cosmic plan that encompassed me. "
46 " Like an intermission during a long movie, I was waiting for my “real” life to resume. I had never penciled in such a detour in any list I had made for my life. "
47 " Nourishment comes in many forms. So does happiness. "
48 " Choosing freedom over toxic familiarity would always be the correct choice. "
49 " Going inward was not easy. By looking outward, I could create my ideal home, a dream that I had previously deferred in the interest of family harmony. "
50 " I decided to create a home from scratch, something that would reflect my tastes and preferences with a combination of objects and energy that would add up to a safe and inviting space for the people and experiences I wanted to welcome into my life. "
51 " Books have always been my best companions. They have not only provided entertainment but also served as wise, nonjudgmental mentors whenever I needed advice. The problem with my situation was that I had not come across a single book to guide me or at least accompany me as I laid out the roadmap for the rest of my life. In fact, I had no idea how I had arrived at this unfamiliar crossroad. I certainly did not deserve to be in this predicament. "
52 " The light at the end of this seemingly never-ending dark tunnel that I had entered, was on the other side of understanding. The clarity I was seeking was within my reach. "
53 " I needed to find out if I still had a motherlode of gratitude buried somewhere in my psyche. I would have to first clear the debris of disenchantment, clear the path and allow that small trickle to come through. "
54 " A place can be a living, breathing thing. It can shimmer with joy or with maleficence. "
55 " There were days when I did not feel any pain. Perhaps there was a scar that would always mark the wound, a reminder of what had changed, but it did not stop me from moving, growing, and becoming more of myself. "
56 " Every day, no matter how productive or ordinary, was still a reminder of all that was different from the life I had imagined. "
57 " I didn’t know then that driving in India would help me develop a steadfast mind like an archer, capable of staying calm and focused amid the mayhem of traffic. "
58 " We had both accepted the unwritten rule of arranged marriage: love, if it arrived at all, would bloom with time. "
59 " The country was as much of a mystery to me as the man I had married. "
60 " From measuring my life in terms of milestones, I now tried to measure it in moments—those small pockets of time that float with great radiance even though they are embedded in the minutiae of life. "