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The Arctic Incident (Artemis Fowl, #2) QUOTES

The Arctic Incident (Artemis Fowl, #2) QUOTES

1 " Artemis: (shocked) Why, Doctor? This is a sensitive area. For all you know I could be suffering from depression.
Doctor Po: I suppose you could. Is that the case?
Artemis: (head in hands) It's my mother, Doctor.
Doctor Po: Yes?
Artemis: My mother, she...
Doctor Po: Your mother, yes?
Artemis: She forces me to endure this ridiculous therapy when the school's so-called counsellors are little better than misguided do-gooders with degrees. "

― Eoin Colfer , The Arctic Incident (Artemis Fowl, #2)

2 " We're being lead by an idiot with a crayon. "

― Eoin Colfer , The Arctic Incident (Artemis Fowl, #2)

3 " I'm the crazy girly captain, Remember? "

― Eoin Colfer , The Arctic Incident (Artemis Fowl, #2)

4 " The craft's occupants clutched their armrests, and more than one of them closed their eyes. But not Artemis. He couldn't. There was something morbidly fascinating about flying into an uncharted tunnel at a reckless speed with only a kleptomaniac dwarf's word for what lay at the other end. "

― Eoin Colfer , The Arctic Incident (Artemis Fowl, #2)

5 " [Artemis] returned to the aft bay for Mulch's version of a briefing.

The dwarf had drawn a crude diagram on a backlit wall panel. In fairness, there were more artistic chimpanzees. And less pungent ones. Mulch was using a carrot as a pointer, or more accurately, several carrots. Dwarfs liked carrots.

'This is Koboi Labs,' He mumbled around a mouthful of vegetable.

'That?' exclaimed Root.

'I realize, Julius, that it is not an accurate schematic.'

The Commander exploded from his chair. 'An accurate schematic? It's a rectangle for heaven's sake!'

Mulch was unperturbed. 'That's not important. This is the important bit.'

'That wobbly line?'

'It's a fissure,' pouted the dwarf. 'Anybody can see that.'

'Anybody in kindergarten maybe. So it's a fissure, so what?'

'This is the clever bit. Y'see that fissure is not usually there.'

Root began strangling the air again. Something he was doing more and more lately. "

― Eoin Colfer , The Arctic Incident (Artemis Fowl, #2)

6 " (text message) CMDR ROOT. TRBLE BELOW. HAVN OVRRN BY GOBLINS. PLCE PLAZA SRROUNDED. CUDGEON + OPL KBOI BHND PLOT. NO WPONS OR CMMUNICATIONS. DNA CNONS CNTRLLED BY KBOI. I M TRPPED IN OP BTH. CNCL THNKS IM 2 BLM. IF ALIVE PLSE HLP. IF NOT, WRNG NMBR. "

― Eoin Colfer , The Arctic Incident (Artemis Fowl, #2)

7 " No, I don't think you understand just how stupid goblins are. Let me give you an example. One of the B'wa Kell generals, and this is their top fairy, was caught caught trying to pass off forged credit slips by signing his own name. "

― Eoin Colfer , The Arctic Incident (Artemis Fowl, #2)

8 " I'm not threatening you. I'm just informing you of police procedure. If you continue to obstruct me, I remove the obstruction, in this case you, and proceed to the next command. "

― Eoin Colfer , The Arctic Incident (Artemis Fowl, #2)

9 " Remember this? You gave it to me for ensuring your trigger finger got reattached to your hand. You said it would remind me of that spark of decency inside me. I'm trying to do something decent now, Captain. "

― Eoin Colfer , The Arctic Incident (Artemis Fowl, #2)

10 " We're being led by an idiot with a crayon. "

― Eoin Colfer , The Arctic Incident (Artemis Fowl, #2)

11 " Sig Sauer. Nine millimetres. Thirteen in the magazine. Big bullets. One of these hits you and it could blow your head off; something even the magic can't fix. Other than that you should be all right, presuming you remembered to wear the regulation above-ground micro-fibre jumpsuit recently patented by me. Then again, being a Recon jock, you probably didn't. "

― Eoin Colfer , The Arctic Incident (Artemis Fowl, #2)

12 " Grab some caviar from the kitchen. You wouldn't believe the muck they feed us in Bartleby's for ten thousand a term. "

― Eoin Colfer , The Arctic Incident (Artemis Fowl, #2)

13 " I'm LEP. A captain. No rent-a-cop gnome is going to stand in the way of my orders. "

― Eoin Colfer , The Arctic Incident (Artemis Fowl, #2)

14 " (about Dr. Po) Just another quack spouting psychobabble. "

― Eoin Colfer , The Arctic Incident (Artemis Fowl, #2)

15 " Foaly twitched his tail contentedly. Genius. No point in being humble about it. "

― Eoin Colfer , The Arctic Incident (Artemis Fowl, #2)

16 " There were only two men on the planet better educated in the various martial arts than Butler, and he was related to one of them. The other lived on an island in the South China Sea, and spent his days meditating and beating up palm trees. You really had to feel sorry for those goblins. "

― Eoin Colfer , The Arctic Incident (Artemis Fowl, #2)

17 " Inside the mirrored elevator, Mulch used a telescopic pointer to push P for the penthouse. For the first few months he had jumped to reach the button, but that was undignified behavior for a millionaire. And besides, he was certain that Art could hear the thumping from the security desk. "

― Eoin Colfer , The Arctic Incident (Artemis Fowl, #2)

18 " Butler struggled from a tiny fairy chair. “Right, enough talk. I think it’s time Mister Vassikin was introduced to my friend, Mister Fist. "

― Eoin Colfer , The Arctic Incident (Artemis Fowl, #2)

19 " he dragged her like a string of cans behind the wedding car "

― Eoin Colfer , The Arctic Incident (Artemis Fowl, #2)

20 " Now, Master Fowl, let’s talk, shall we? "

― Eoin Colfer , The Arctic Incident (Artemis Fowl, #2)