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81 " Moderation: a median with no means, praised by those with no misfortunes, practiced by those with no merits. "
― Bauvard , Some Inspiration for the Overenthusiastic
82 " I compensate for my debauchery by being brilliant at it. I make sacrifices for it by waking up in a gutter covered in the fruits of my genius. "
83 " Spontaneous abortion: the opposite of immaculate conception. God has compensated for Christianity’s violent history by revealing that innocent blood does not have to be spilt. "
84 " Rioter: a person who wants dinner, and needs a TV to eat it with. "
85 " Don’t take drugs. Asking politely promotes healthy stereotypes. "
86 " When cultivating your garden, keep the soil healthy with encroachers. The most redolent flowers grow over graves. "
87 " Attacking the person instead of the argument is condemned in logic, widespread in physics, and not used nearly enough in humanism. "
88 " Quote: a banal proverb that is considered profound when uttered by a celebrity. "
89 " Never proscribe a child’s vitality – prescribe it. "
90 " Inconsistent parenting creates confusion. When I'm pitting mom against dad, they never know what to expect. "
91 " It is remarkably precocious when a person accomplishes anything after the age of thirty. "
92 " Don't swallow: your bulging, blushing cheeks display the saliva you want to share. "
93 " When a person encounters his own statue and takes a hammer to it, performance art adds depth to greatness. "
94 " After all else, there’s more yet: I don’t know what, though. "
95 " You can always tell the quality of an author by their cover picture. Bad writers bear an idiotic smile on the inside flap. Great writers take up the entire back cover looking slightly mad, sad, or bored. The very best writers, though, had the superior ability to die before photography was invented. "
96 " Teacher: a master who, through personal example, inspires students to rebel against learning. "
97 " Don't drink away your dreams; drink towards them. "
98 " Religious fasting is the best way to cure an anorexic's spirit: in heaven her condition will be normal. "
99 " The only way to tell a fable is to introduce a human. The only way to tell a proverb is to introduce your grandfather. "
100 " What’s outside my head and what’s inside my head aren’t worth mentioning. What’s worth mentioning is what’s on my head – my hair. Whatever happens, I’ll still be as fashionably coiffed as I was before the war broke out and I got dementia. "