46
" You know what I remember most vividly from that hospital? There were creases in the pillowcase. " I was in pain when they brought me in. They'd bandaged me up before transporting me, but they hand't had anything to deaden that kind of pain. So I wasn't clear in my head. I don't remember who was holding the stretcher, anything like that. " But when they lifted me up, and I looked at the cot I'd be transferred to, even as they tipped me onto it, I noticed the creases in the pillowcase, and it was everything I could do not to cry. You get used to things being dusty and gritty and oily, you really do, but then, when there's something clean, something that's been folded carefully, and unfolded carefully and it's there for your head, it's like your heart, it's like I don't know, I can't describe it. "
57
" Jamie leaned over. “And your perfect world?”
“Mmm,” Helen smiled. “Perfect is complicated. Hard to explain.”
“Give it a shot,” I prodded her.
“It’s… beautiful is the best word to describe it,” she said.
Jamie and I nodded.
“Everything that isn’t necessary to getting what we want is gone,” she said, eyes closing, as if she was vividly imagining. “There’s an abundance of it all, thanks to science. Food is everywhere and it overflows and there’s nothing to worry about because we have and we want and we take. We’re, and by we I mean people, we’re everywhere and we spill over into one another and we’re all knit together, physically and mentally. It’s an exquisite landscape of things that don’t ever run out to see and touches and tastes and smells and mating and eating and mindless fighting and eating-mating and fighting-eating and fighting-”
“Okay,” I said, interrupting. I paused, then when I couldn’t think of what to say. “Okay.”
Helen reached down to her plate, used a fingertip to wipe up a bit of frosting, and popped it into her mouth, sucking it off.
“Okay,” I said, still at a bit of a loss for words.
“That’s a mental image that’s going to be with me forever,” Jamie said, dropping his head down until his face was in his hands.
“I don’t see where ethics come into that world,” I said, more to see Jamie’s reaction than out of curiosity.
“No,” Jamie said. “Don’t-”
“The closer you get to perfection, the further you get from ethics,” Helen said, as if it was common sense. "
― , Twig