Aspen Matis QUOTES

1 " Our chief want is someone who will inspire us to be what we know we could be. "

― Aspen Matis , Your Blue Is Not My Blue: A Missing Person Memoir

3 " The trees were friendly, they gave me rest and shadowed refuge. Slipping through them, I felt safe and competent. My whole body was occupied. I had little energy to think or worry. "

― Aspen Matis , Girl in the Woods: A Memoir

5 " And so, despite the complex web of paths, waterfalls, cliffs, as a hiker wanders downhill, drainages merge, faint, abstract paths coalesce, thicken, until there is one path – the one, natural, trodden way. "

― Aspen Matis , Girl in the Woods: A Memoir

7 " I was passive by nature. I had always been. Arguing felt unnatural and uncomfortable. I was always agreeing even when I didn’t really, instinctively looking for ways to forfeit power, to become more dependent, to be taken care of. I realized how intensely Icecap reminded me of Jacob. They were similar, both diligent and harsh in their judgments—and my big brother’s sureness had always comforted me.

But as I ran on sore legs to keep up with Icecap, my tendency toward silence stressed me. "

― Aspen Matis , Girl in the Woods: A Memoir

9 " I saw now that bad men existed who would take advantage of any weakness and insecurity they found when violating a victim. I saw it was not my fault; I did not choose to be raped or kidnapped. But now I was learning how to protect myself from the predators, to trust my No and my instinct and my strength. I was learning I was not to blame, I couldn't prevent men from trying to hurt me, but I could definitely fight back. And sometimes fighting back worked. "

― Aspen Matis , Girl in the Woods: A Memoir

11 " The bravest thing I ever did was leave there. The next bravest thing I did was come back, to make myself heard. "

― Aspen Matis , Girl in the Woods: A Memoir

13 " I’d believed I needed to be steady in myself before I could function with others—but surviving alone no longer felt like a good way either. "

― Aspen Matis , Girl in the Woods: A Memoir

15 " Still I walked into the snow, moving to keep warm, burning precious energy searching for an answer I couldn’t think of. I didn’t turn back, compelled to continue without the trail. I didn’t want to risk futilely backtracking. If I couldn’t find the trail before dark, I could wake tomorrow disoriented and desperate, without having even made any new miles; my loss of the PCT should have distressed me, but a new instinct led me forward. In this moment of despair I was refusing to stop fighting. I asked the mountains for some guidance, the strength to get myself out of here, and pulled wild power from within myself I’d never known I’d had.

I was no longer following a trail.

I was learning to follow myself. "

― Aspen Matis , Girl in the Woods: A Memoir

17 " I realized that the most empowering important thing was actually simply taking care of myself. "

― Aspen Matis , Girl in the Woods: A Memoir

19 " I knew with certainty now—I could say no, and he would stop. Above all, I felt the fierce beauty of the choice. I knew now what it was that had held me from falling into my desire to be with him fully: I first needed to make sure he was a man who would respect my 'No. "

― Aspen Matis