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181 " W're both nice people, usually. But this wasn't a regular argument. It was the type of argument you can only have with people you're REALLY close to -- people you know so well you start to forget they're a different person from you, so it sort of feels like nobody can see you. "
― Allie Brosh , Solutions and Other Problems
182 " motivation is this horrible, scary game where I try to make myself do something while I actively avoid doing it. If I win, I have to do something I don’t want to do. If I lose, I’m one step closer to ruining my entire life. And I never know whether I’m going to win or lose until the last second. "
― Allie Brosh , Hyperbole and a Half: Unfortunate Situations, Flawed Coping Mechanisms, Mayhem, and Other Things That Happened
183 " That's a fine character to have in the family if there's somebody fun and patient around to balance things out, but nobody wants their ONLY friend to be like that.So, for the first time in ten years, there was nothing around but me. I thought that's what I wanted. But when the relief wore off, it was actually a little weird not having anything around that wanted to interact with me. This was confusing, but in a way, I kind of missed it. I think what I'm trying to describe is loneliness. I felt pretty offended by it. I mean, what am I -- some clueless animal who needs love and companionship? As it turns out, yes -- that is what kind of animal I am. I just never realized it before because there was enough ambient love and companionship around to make it seem like maybe I don't have needs, and that's why it doesn't feel like I need anything. Experiencing real loneliness for the first time is like realizing the only thing you've ever loved is your home planet after migrating to the moon. "
184 " That's the scary thing about decisions: you don't know what they are when you're making them. "
185 " For a little while, I actually feel grown-up and responsible. I strut around with my head held high, looking the other responsible people in the eye with that knowing glance that says, I understand. I’m responsible now too. Just look at my groceries. At some point, I start feeling self-congratulatory. This is a mistake. I begin to feel like I’ve accomplished my goals. It’s like I think that adulthood is something that can be earned like a trophy in one monumental burst of effort. What usually ends up happening is that I completely wear myself out. Thinking that I’ve earned it, I give myself permission to slack off for a while and recover. "
186 " don’t like when I can’t control what reality is doing. Which is unfortunate because reality works independently of the things I want, and I have only a limited number of ways to influence it, none of which are guaranteed to work. "
187 " I went and played with my toys, but I did not enjoy it. "