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161 " After reading a few pages you will begin to laugh at your own mistakes. With this lighthearted reaction it becomes easier to relax and not take yourself or your partner’s mistakes so seriously. "
― John Gray , Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus
162 " The success of a relationship is solely dependent on two factors: a man’s ability to listen lovingly and respectfully to a woman’s feelings, and a woman’s ability to share her feelings in a loving and respectful way. "
163 " A woman mistakenly thinks that to be worthy of receiving what she really wants, she must keep giving back what she is receiving. "
― John Gray , Mars and Venus on a Date: A Guide for Navigating the 5 Stages of Dating to Create a Loving and Lasting Relationship
164 " For a woman, being happy when the person you love is upset just doesn’t seem right. "
165 " A man wants to make improvements when he feels he is being approached as the solution to a problem rather than as the problem itself. "
166 " Taking responsibility for her problem was essential to releasing her resentment. "
167 " Darwin's theory shows the truth of naturalism: we are animals like any other; our fate and that of the rest of life on Earth are the same. Yet, in an irony all the more exquisite because no one has noticed it, Darwinism is now the central prop of the humanist faith that we can transcend our animal natures and rule the Eart. "
― John Gray , Straw Dogs: Thoughts on Humans and Other Animals
168 " Darkness cannot be directly removed, but itautomatically disappears whenyou turn on the light. "
― John Gray , How To Get What You Want And Want What You Have
169 " I had always thought of myself as a loving person. But she was right. I had been a fair-weather friend. As long as she was happy and nice, I loved back. But if she was unhappy or upset, I would feel blamed and then argue or distance myself. "
170 " In science, progress is a fact, in ethics and politics it is a superstition. "
― John Gray
171 " The important point here is that to enrich our relationships we need to make little changes. Big changes generally require some suppression of who we truly are. "
172 " The main difference between those whosucceed in life and those who fail is theknowledge of how to get back up. "
173 " In a competition for mates a well developed capacity for self-deception is an advantage. The same is true in politics and and other contexts "
174 " If you are looking to experience a life without the flow of negative and positive emotions, visit a graveyard and rest in peace. "
175 " Being around new and different peoplealways brings out some new partof who you are. "
176 " As a basic guideline: never argue. Instead discuss the pros and cons of something. Negotiate for what you want but don’t argue. It is possible to be honest, open, and even express negative feelings without arguing or fighting. Some couples fight all the time, and gradually their love dies. On the other extreme, some couples suppress their honest feelings in order to avoid conflict and not argue. As a result of suppressing their true feelings they lose touch with their loving feelings as well. One couple is having a war while the other is having a cold war. It is best for a couple to find a balance between these two extremes. By remembering we are from different planets and thus developing good communication skills, it is possible to avoid arguments without suppressing negative feelings and conflicting ideas and desires. "
177 " These views of the world support diverging conceptions of human salvation. For those who follow Plato, humans are exiles from eternity; freedom consists in ascending from the realm of shadows and leaving behind the illusion of being a separate, time-bound individual. In biblical accounts, salvation is not an escape from contingency but a miraculous event in the contingent world. It was some such event that Jesus expected when he announced the kingdom of God. Those who were saved would not be assimilated into an eternal spirit but would be brought back from the grave as corporeal human beings.These Jewish and Greek views of the world are not just divergent but irreconcilably opposed. Yet from its beginnings Christianity has been an attempt to join Athens with Jerusalem. Augustine’s Christian Platonism was only the first of many such attempts. Without knowing what they are doing, secular thinkers have continued this vain effort. "
178 " There are basically four kinds of chemistry between dating partners; physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual. Physical chemistry generates desire. Emotional chemistry generates affection. Mental chemistry creates interest. Spiritual chemistry creates love. A soul mate includes all four. "
179 " They may even change outfits several times a day as their mood changes. "
180 " Men Are from Mars Women Are from Venus Imagine that men are from Mars and women are from Venus. One day long ago the Martians, looking through their telescopes, discovered the Venusians. Just glimpsing the Venusians awakened feelings they had never known. They fell in love and quickly invented space travel and flew to Venus. The Venusians welcomed the Martians with open arms. They had intuitively known that this day would come. Their hearts opened wide to a love they had never felt before. The love between the Venusians and Martians was magical. They delighted in being together, doing things together, and sharing together. Though from different worlds, they revelled in their differences. They spent months learning about each other, exploring and appreciating their different needs, preferences, and behaviour patterns. For years they lived together in love and harmony. Then they decided to fly to Earth. In the beginning everything was wonderful and beautiful. But the effects of Earth's atmosphere took hold, and one morning everyone woke up with a peculiar kind of amnesia selective amnesia! Both the Martians and Venusians forgot that they were from different planets and were supposed to be different. In one morning everything they had learned about their differences was erased from their memory. And since that day men and women have been in conflict. "