Pippa Grant QUOTES

41 " I don’t mention him puking, because despite being a badass unafraid to call him a baby—which we both know he’s not—I don’t rub people’s shortcomings in their face. Life’s too short to be a shithead—the cruel kind, not the take-care-of-yourself kind—and you never know who you’re going to need tomorrow. "

― Pippa Grant , The Pilot & the Puck-Up (The Copper Valley Thrusters, #1)

42 " Fuck yeah, we’re partying tonight! my balls cheer. I pretend they’re talking to my bad ear. "

― Pippa Grant , Crazy for Loving You (Bluewater Billionaires)

43 " Just want to bend them all until they snap in two? Ah, I’m asking for a friend. Because of course I wasn’t stupid enough to think sex with Chase Jett and his magic peen could come without a price. "

― Pippa Grant , Mister McHottie (Girl Band #1)

44 " Santa’s a girl!” Zoe shrieks. “I knew it! I knew a man couldn’t do all that Santa does!” Four years old, and she has the world figured out. I love that kid. "

― Pippa Grant , Exes & Ho Ho Hos

45 " Jesus. I’m shaking my booty for Daisy Carter-Kincaid. "

― Pippa Grant , Crazy for Loving You (Bluewater Billionaires)

46 " He cocks a finger at her. “I knew you’d know where I put that. Thanks, Tweety bird.” “He always messes up the important stuff,” Zoe says on a sigh. “He’s such a man. "

― Pippa Grant , Exes & Ho Ho Hos

47 " She’s staring at me, which, yeah. Of course she is, because I’m babbling like a fucking fourteen-year-old girl swooning over fucking Prince Manning. But this is Fireball, and you never know what she might be thinking. So I cut a glance at her to see if it’s an I’m considering it stare or if it’s an I’m letting a loony bin drive me around on a golf cart stare, and—“Fuck! "

― Pippa Grant , The Pilot & the Puck-Up (The Copper Valley Thrusters, #1)

48 " my private "

― Pippa Grant , The Last Eligible Billionaire

49 " The thing about Ambrosia—Bro, See-uh, whatever the fuck she wants to be called these days—is that she ain’t scared of shit. Not spiders. Not jail. Not tattoo needles. Not the Easter bunny—don’t think I won’t fucking cut you if you repeat that—and not me or Ares. "

― Pippa Grant , The Bigger Badder Berger Box Set

50 " Zero to sixty in four-point-three seconds. Good luck getting that with one of your crunchy, free-range, organic toadstool boyfriends. And we haven’t even gotten to the main event. "

― Pippa Grant , Mister McHottie (Girl Band #1)

51 " I consider dropping her on her ass while she’s a pile of rotten jelly in my arms, but instead wait until her eyes focus again. Fucking gentleman of the year, that’s me. "

― Pippa Grant , Mister McHottie (Girl Band #1)

52 " If you don’t like it, you could quit touching it.” If she quits touching me, I’m going to fucking die. “I can barely tell your hand is there anyway.” “It’s a mercy stroke. I’m generous like that. And you’re a lying fuck-face. "

― Pippa Grant , Mister McHottie (Girl Band #1)

53 " who cares that he and those Berger boys who make millions playing hockey now once tried to use fishing line, hair spray, and a lighter to make a ring of fire around the lake and told people it was a ritualistic exorcism to rid me of PMS— "

― Pippa Grant , Mister McHottie (Girl Band #1)

54 " This woman does abnormal, not-right things to my brain. And my body. And my mouth. “Bend over, cabbage face,” I order. “Why? You couldn’t find my g-spot with a flashlight and a guide. "

― Pippa Grant , Mister McHottie (Girl Band #1)

55 " Ares, put him down,” I order, but I sound like a sex-crazed nympho at a dildo party. "

― Pippa Grant , Mister McHottie (Girl Band #1)

56 " Who would you be if you weren’t afraid of who you think you are? "

― Pippa Grant , The Grumpy Player Next Door (Copper Valley Fireballs, #3)

57 " My mother says honesty is the true mark of a person.” “If you can’t be a good example, be a warning. "

― Pippa Grant , The Pilot & the Puck-Up (The Copper Valley Thrusters, #1)

58 " But I can’t deny the appeal of getting to know Manning better. Even if I weren’t having his baby, his engagement aside, he’s fun and he’s chivalrous and for a few hours on a golf course two months ago, he made me feel like I was something more than a dumb backwoods hick who grew up poor in a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it nowhere town. "

― Pippa Grant , Royally Pucked (The Copper Valley Thrusters, #2)

59 " There’s so much testosterone radiating through the air we’re all about to keel over from penis poisoning. "

― Pippa Grant , The Pilot & the Puck-Up (The Copper Valley Thrusters, #1)

60 " My phone dings. Probably my mother, who has mom-radar and always knows when I’m up to no good. Undoubtedly asking how many Hail Marys she needs to say for me today. I grab my phone just to make sure it’s not a somebody died text, and almost fall off my stool.

Tarzan here. Looking for Ms. P. This her?

I close my eyes, blow out a slow breath.

One, if he’s texting me, his date with Lila Valentine probably didn’t produce a second, which makes me happier than I have any right to be.

Two, I’m not asking the guy to marry me. I’m asking him to be a hot piece of ass to make me look good.

And three, I’m suddenly worried that my bad taste in men is making an unfortunate appearance again. What man in his right mind would text back a woman who made that proposition last weekend? Am I wrong about his date with the auction winner? Did I leave something behind at the hotel, and he’s just returning it? Or does he actually have some secret fetish that’ll play out wrong in the middle of my class reunion?

"Who’s that?" Sia demands.

"Tele-texter," I lie.

I ignore the glares from my friends and type a quick reply. Yes, this is Parker.

Except my phone hates me, and it autocorrects to Trying. This is Parking.

Thanks, phone.

Y E S, I type. Damn autocorrect.

I hit send, and "Ohmygod."

"What? What?" My friends all peer around me, and I jump off my stool to keep them from seeing my screen.

Autocorrect just autocorrected to autocunnilingus.

I just told Tarzan I’m eating myself. What have I done? Does that count as sexting? I don’t know.

This is why I can’t have nice things. "

― Pippa Grant , Stud in the Stacks (Girl Band #2)