Home > Author > Megan Boyle
1 " Feel completely unable to do anything. Try to picture your life in five years. It really seems like you will be dead. "
― Megan Boyle
2 " i want to go to the gymand pretend the weight machines are drumsand play the longest drum solo on them "
3 " Anne has small superstitions which she uses to dispel anxieties. For instance, if she can make it to the fourth stain on the carpet by the time the elevator door closes, that means Nate has thought positively about her today, and there is a future where they know each other. It becomes a one-sided competition when a negative consequence is imagined: if she cannot touch two different kinds of tile with her feet by the time the toilet flushes, that means she said something crucially “wrong” in an email, and Nate will never contact her again. She doesn't keep track of which side is winning. "
4 " most psychologists/philosophers we've learned about have experienced severe depressions, attempted suicide, were considered 'freaks' or 'insane' by their peers, locked themselves in their rooms, felt socially isolated, were either celibate or extremely promiscuous, and rarely found 'love "
― Megan Boyle , Selected Unpublished Blog Posts of a Mexican Panda Express Employee
5 " i had a dream that there were these huge indoor swimming pools called 'lobbies' that poor people used to do mass amounts of laundry "
6 " For about four years, I’ve been telling people I hate sour cream. One time I sent back nachos because they had sour cream on them. I started saying this because a friend I admire hates sour cream. I told him I hated it too so we could have a funny thing in common. "
7 " shrimp and green peppers are shriveling in my refrigerator "
8 " i wish i had 15-20 cats that would serve as a blanket, like if i moved they would adjust to my new position, that would be good "
9 " i wish cats could float around your head "
10 " my cat is always looking at me like i am forgetting something crucial and he depends on it "
11 " i want to pull very long, multi-colored strings out of my brain and place them next to a bowl of doritos at a party "
12 " i could never be a sports writer, unless my assignment was to write 'sports sports sports sports sports' for three pages "
13 " being sick feels like you're wearing someone else's glasses "
14 " people like to see will smith reacting to aliens "
15 " i want to fall backwards into a pit of bioluminescent pokémon "
16 " Something was comforting about strangers—it seemed like they would exist forever as the same, unknowable mass. "
17 " i want to interrupt a game of magic the gathering by busting through a wall on a motorcycle "
18 " tom clancy probably wears a baseball hat when he has sex "
19 " argued for an hour on the telephone. now looking at pictures of carbs "
20 " i am still unsure of what 'life to the fullest' for me would be, mostly i just try to be well-liked in social situations and not die "
