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Slam! QUOTES

Slam! QUOTES

1 " That’s my darling little doggie. Bubbles by name, bubbles for brains. You’ve got to love him. "

― J.L. Merrow , Slam!

2 " When a bloke takes you out for a meal You’d think sex would be part of the deal Not a pat on the head And a cold lonely bed When he leaves without copping a feel "

― J.L. Merrow , Slam!

3 " Knut, this is Jude. Remember I told you about him? He writes poetry.” Knut looked my half-Japanese self up and down. “Haiku?” he guessed. “Gesundheit,” I muttered sourly. "

― J.L. Merrow , Slam!

4 " I frowned. “Are you sure about this? It’s a bit short.” “So? It’s poetry, not dick size. "

― J.L. Merrow , Slam!

5 " So come on, tell me all the dirt about your date. Did he tie you up with his black belt? Show off his mystic knowledge of Eastern sex practices? What?” I let my head slump into my hands. “He gave me a kiss and said good night.” “He didn’t! The bastard. "

― J.L. Merrow , Slam!

6 " A pirate once shouted ‘Avast! I’ve caught you, you seadog, at last! Best pull out your sword— I’m coming aboard! Drop your britches, and climb up me mast! "

― J.L. Merrow , Slam!

7 " All right, here’s a limerick: A young martial artist called Dave Was fearless and handsome and brave He saved me from thugs When I nearly got mugged So now I’m forever Dave’s slave.” There was a short silence. I cringed. “Um, sorry. Came out a bit gay, that one.” Bugger, bugger, bugger. "

― J.L. Merrow , Slam!

8 " Look, I really appreciate you bringing me here, but I think there’s something you ought to know about me.” David smiled. “If it’s that you’re gay—“ Oh, puh-leeze. “No—God, no. I mean, yes, obviously, I’m fruitier than a greengrocers’ convention, but no, that wasn’t what I was about to say. "

― J.L. Merrow , Slam!

9 " No, that’s just Saturdays.” The whisper came from an orange-belted ninja. Did that make him a ginja? "

― J.L. Merrow , Slam!

10 " Lead me!” I told him fervently. “Astray is, like, my favourite place ever. "

― J.L. Merrow , Slam!

11 " You’re a darling, Keisha. If you weren’t a girl, I’d marry you.” “If I wasn’t a girl, I’d run a bloody mile next time I saw you coming.” “But, sweetie, you’ve never actually seen me coming. Unless you’ve got a spy camera rigged up in my bedroom, of course. "

― J.L. Merrow , Slam!

12 " A young man, when sliced up by glass From a footballer’s tragic mis-pass Said, ‘Hey, there’s no harm Done; it’s only an arm. I’m just thankful it wasn’t my arse. "

― J.L. Merrow , Slam!

13 " Keisha frowned. “Maybe he’s hoping for hidden depths?” “I haven’t even got hidden "

― J.L. Merrow , Slam!

14 " I was worried I’d scared you off,” I said as I slid into the passenger seat. “Being too gay and all.” “No—I, er…” He hesitated, and I looked at him sharply. Well, slightly less bluntly, anyway. My head still hurt. “I don’t have a problem with you being gay, Jude. I’m…well, I’m into blokes myself.” “You are?” I may have squeaked a bit. “But you’re so…” Butch, I should have said. And manly, and muscular, and gorgeous, and I bet you’re hairy too in all the right places. What came out was, “Straight. "

― J.L. Merrow , Slam!

15 " We all walked down the street together, looking like a sort of pick-and-mix adopted family: dad, disabled mum, and two differently mixed-race kids. Madonna would have been so proud of us. "

― J.L. Merrow , Slam!

16 " I’ll learn all the katas and be the ninjing-est ninja that ever ninjed.” Bubbles whined, so I bent down to rub his silky little head. “Is it the c-word, Bubbs? Don’t you worry, we love the doggas as well as the katas.” David laughed. "

― J.L. Merrow , Slam!

17 " Roll over," he said, his voice all rough. "Jude, I want to be inside you. Is that okay?"
I sort of whimpered. Then nodded vigorously, in case he couldn't speak whimper. "

― J.L. Merrow , Slam!

18 " Sod it. If he laid a finger on my David, I’d just have to use my newfound martial arts mojo and kick him in the Knuts. "

― J.L. Merrow , Slam!

19 " I’m fruitier than a greengrocers’ convention, "

― J.L. Merrow , Slam!

20 " No need to read anything into it.” “Yeah, right. ’Cept it’s your tightest jeans, the ones that’ll give you gangrene in your nuts if you’re not careful, "

― J.L. Merrow , Slam!