Home > Author > J.L. Merrow
1 " It was weird, ’cause there we were in Italy listening to people singing in German. The music was nice, though, and there was this guy dressed up like a parrot. If you’d asked me a year ago to guess what opera was like, I’d never have guessed it had guys dressed as parrots. I might’ve wanted to go and see some sooner if I’d known. It was a sweet story, ’cause he met this girl who was dressed as a parrot too, and they got off together. "
― J.L. Merrow , Muscling Through
2 " It's sad to fall asleep. It separates people. Even when you're sleeping together, you're all alone. "
― J.L. Merrow , Pricks and Pragmatism (Southampton Stories #1)
3 " I was thinking of Cambridge, and then I got a bit homesick for a minute, 'cause I never been this far away from home before. But the I remember you're here, and now I'm not homesick no more. "
4 " He didn't look anything like the blokes on that gay porn channel Rory had clicked on by mistake when he'd been trying to find out how to make a daisy chain for Leo. "
― J.L. Merrow , Spun! (The Shamwell Tales, #4)
5 " But we had to stop ’cause Larry can’t throw for shit, and people in other punts were complaining about being hit by strawberries. Even though they was Marks and Spencer’s strawberries. "
― J.L. Merrow
6 " Alan:I used rabbit-skin glue to size the panels. I got it from the artshop. I don’t know if they use real rabbits in it. It seems kind of ashame if they do, but then it’s not like there’s a rabbit shortage, isit? And maybe they only used rabbits that would’ve died anyhow. "
7 " Alan:I asked him what cat we should get,and he said it was my choice, so I got this little black one calledMinnie. I think the cat place must not have known Minnie’s amouse’s name. I thought maybe we should change it, but then Ithought, if Minnie doesn’t know, either, then it’s probably okay. "
8 " Well, that went well,” I muttered to my cock, which had optimistically jumped up when I did. All pumped up with nowhere to go. I took it for a shower and gave it a few strokes to make it feel better, but it wasn’t fooled. It knew it was just my hand tugging on it. "
9 " Alan:I don’t know whatthey did with all the crusts from the sandwiches. Maybe they putthem out for the birds after everyone had gone home. I hoped so.It’d be a shame to waste them. "
10 " He's got more wrinkles than a bloody Sharpie.''Sharp-pei "
― J.L. Merrow , Relief Valve (The Plumber's Mate #2)
11 " I didn’t know what to spend it on, ’cause my mum said she didn’t want me to buy her nothing. So I was going to buy Larry something, but he said I should spend it on something I always wanted. So I bought a cat. "
12 " Please go" he said. "Just take my money - take anything - and go"I didn't get why he wanted me to take something, but he seemed really worried about it. So I looked around, and he had a bowl of fruit on the side, so I grabbed an apple, 'cause I always get hungry after I've been drinking."I'll take this, okay?" Then I left him there, but I took the knives and I hid them in the hall cupboard, just in case. "
13 " I went and kissed him to wake him up just like Sleeping Beauty. Although I guess with me it was more like Beauty and the Beast. "
14 " I got zero on a maths test once," I said. "The teacher said he'd wanted to give me a minus number, but the computer wouldn't let him. "
15 " I've been an idiot.""That's okay," I said. "You're still way cleverer than me". "
16 " Larry said that Michelangelo was a poof, so I wondered why he’d sculpted a guy with a really tiny cock. But I know when you go to old houses, the doorways are much smaller, ’cause people were shorter then, so maybe cocks were smaller too. It makes me glad I wasn’t born a few centuries ago. "
17 " That’s my darling little doggie. Bubbles by name, bubbles for brains. You’ve got to love him. "
― J.L. Merrow , Slam!
18 " If you forget your dreams on waking, does that mean they never happened? That the people in them never existed? "
― J.L. Merrow , Trick of Time
19 " 'You must've been waiting for someone like me to come along,' I said. I meant, because of the big bed. But Larry looked at me all funny and said, 'Yes, I think I was.' "
20 " When a bloke takes you out for a meal You’d think sex would be part of the deal Not a pat on the head And a cold lonely bed When he leaves without copping a feel "
