Home > Work > Mister McHottie (Girl Band #1)
1 " The chief clears his throat and gives me the don’t be a sexual predator look. "
― Pippa Grant , Mister McHottie (Girl Band #1)
2 " Your mother’s holding for you on line two,” she says. “If I were you, I’d buy a florist and a candy shop. Maybe a winery too. Sounds like she needs them.” Might be time to resign from my personal life. "
3 " horny and horrified all at once. "
4 " I offer him a chocolate from the glass candy dish my admin insisted I needed. He swallows it, wrapper and all, then grabs the bowl and drinks the rest down. I’ve mentioned I missed these guys, haven’t I? “You’re my fucking hero,” I tell Ares. He grunts and eyes the candy dish like he’s contemplating taking a bite of it too. "
5 " She grabs me by the balls, scraping my sack, and that color behind my eyeballs goes iridescent. Beyond white. I can’t think. I can’t talk. I can barely keep my knees from giving out. “Flaccid,” she whispers. “And still crooked. You should see a doctor about that. "
6 " You’re not a grown-up. You’re some kind of male sex kitten in a glitter suit, and I’m done with you. "
7 " Just want to bend them all until they snap in two? Ah, I’m asking for a friend. Because of course I wasn’t stupid enough to think sex with Chase Jett and his magic peen could come without a price. "
8 " Zero to sixty in four-point-three seconds. Good luck getting that with one of your crunchy, free-range, organic toadstool boyfriends. And we haven’t even gotten to the main event. "
9 " I consider dropping her on her ass while she’s a pile of rotten jelly in my arms, but instead wait until her eyes focus again. Fucking gentleman of the year, that’s me. "
10 " If you don’t like it, you could quit touching it.” If she quits touching me, I’m going to fucking die. “I can barely tell your hand is there anyway.” “It’s a mercy stroke. I’m generous like that. And you’re a lying fuck-face. "
11 " who cares that he and those Berger boys who make millions playing hockey now once tried to use fishing line, hair spray, and a lighter to make a ring of fire around the lake and told people it was a ritualistic exorcism to rid me of PMS— "
12 " This woman does abnormal, not-right things to my brain. And my body. And my mouth. “Bend over, cabbage face,” I order. “Why? You couldn’t find my g-spot with a flashlight and a guide. "
13 " Ares, put him down,” I order, but I sound like a sex-crazed nympho at a dildo party. "
14 " It’s Bro. She’d tackle me in the produce aisle, rip my pants off, ride me like a donkey, and ask if me that was a microscopic needle in my pants or if the nice scientists in the asylum had noticed I was missing yet. "
15 " Have you seen Minnesota mosquitoes? They’re horses with wings. It’s like being bitten by a hornless unicorn. "
16 " He apologized, my hopeless vagina squeals. Let’s hump him. She’s on probation, so I ignore her. "
