101
" But in this moment, I’m asking, would you come?”
“I--don’t know.” There was the slightest hint of a tremble in the words. And that wall she’d so hastily put back up wavered just a tic.
He traced a finger along the side of her cheek, then over her bottom lip, and felt her body shudder against his. “Would you come back to Cameroo and give this a chance?”
He held her gaze for the longest time and thought he’d never tire of the scenery.
“I’d consider it,” she finally said, searching his gaze as well. She sighed, then melted against him when he dipped his head, kissed her quietly. “Yes,” she whispered against his lips before he lifted them away. “I would.”
“Good,” he said, lips spreading, grin deepening.
A car rumbled down the alley, startling them both, and their intimate bubble burst as the outside world intruded once again.
Kerry pulled back and then moved fully out of his arms. She made no show of smoothing her shirt or tidying her hair, which made his grin deepen. She might be tangled up when it came to family and future and her real needs and wants, but she was, at core, still the same guileless woman he’d fallen in love with a world away from here. "
― Donna Kauffman , Starfish Moon (Brides of Blueberry Cove, #3)
102
" Cooper,” she said. “Cooper Jax.” As if saying his name would someone break the spell, vanquish the mirage she was still faintly hoping she was seeing. It didn’t. Instead it brought the mirage a few strides farther into the pub as folks moved to clear a path. “What are you doing here?” she asked as she moved forward until the two were standing no more than five yards apart, encircled by the completely hushed crowd. She wished she sounded strong, strident even. They were on her turf now, in her world. He was the interloper, the traveler. But her voice was hoarse even to her own ears, a mere rasp; her throat was too tight, too dry, too…everything, to manage anything more than that.
His smile was brief, a slash of white teeth framed by a hard jaw, but his gaze never wavered. “It’s been a year, Kerry. More than. And I’ve come to realize there’s a question I didn’t ask you before you left. One I should have. And I can’t seem to get on with life until I know the answer. "
― Donna Kauffman , Starfish Moon (Brides of Blueberry Cove, #3)
104
" It’s my turn. The only one I’m likely to get. I’ve got a month, Starfish.”
Her eyebrows narrowed a bit at his use of her nickname, and he relaxed further as they eased into a far more familiar back and forth. Lord, but he’d missed her.
“Like I said, let’s take the time we have now and find out what we find out. Then, when it’s your turn, we’ll already be that much closer to knowing what we know.”
Her eyes remained narrowed, his feisty Kerry fully back at the fore. “Why is it that I feel like I just got played?”
His grin got bigger. “Oh, we haven’t begun to play, love. There was nothing playful about that kiss. But next time?” He let that statement linger with no immediate follow-up. Instead, he dug the keys to his rental from the pocket of his Daks and unlocked the door to the sleek black roadster. At least he’d walked to the correct side this time. Took some getting used to, the whole wrong side of the road thing. Still, the little two-door BMW was a beauty. And about as far away from anything he’d ever driven on the station as it was possible to get. Which was exactly why he’d rented it.
He looked back over to where she stood, arms folded now, defenses fully back up and battle ready. Good, he thought. Do what you need to do. Be sure of yourself, of me. Of us. Just remember, I know how to get you to lower those defenses. And he was looking forward to finding out how she’d come apart for him when he melted them completely.
“Thirty days,” he said, opening the door. He tugged at the sunglasses that had been hanging down his back on a pair of Croakies and slid them around, putting them on before popping his hat back on his head. He rested folded forearms on the top of the open door, his grin still in place. “And I don’t know about you, but I’m really liking how Day One has worked out.” He tucked his long, rangy frame into the low-slung car and lowered the window as the sport engine purred to life. “Can’t wait to see what Day Two holds in store. G’day, Starfish. "
― Donna Kauffman , Starfish Moon (Brides of Blueberry Cove, #3)
105
" Not at all perturbed by the surprise arrival and very official-looking demeanor, and yet respectful of it all the same--he’d have done as much or more if some bloke was sniffing after his sister--he doffed his hat and stuck out his hand. “You must be Logan. Or should I call you Chief McCrae?”
Logan McCrae hesitated a short moment, then took Cooper’s hand in a quick, firm shake. Cooper was also glad to see McCrae didn’t feel the need to resort to some kind of macho game of whose handshake is the firmest to prove who would control their little meeting. But then, he did have a gun strapped to his hip, Cooper noted, so possibly that was simply unnecessary.
“Cooper Jax,” McCrae said, sidestepping his name query for now anyway. “I thought maybe we could take a quick walk if you have a few moments?”
“Off a short pier?” Cooper replied, smile unwavering as he gestured for McCrae to lead the way through the courtyard.
The bigger man’s dark gaze remained zeroed in, but the tight line of his square jaw relaxed, as did his shoulders. “That depends. We do have one or two.”
Cooper knew a lot more about the oldest McCrae sib than he assumed McCrae knew about him, but from all that Kerry had said about her only brother, Cooper was predisposed to like the bloke. The hint of humor underlying McCrae’s words told him to trust that instinct. “I’ll do my best to keep both feet on the ground then.”
“Good start,” McCrae replied, then headed through the courtyard. "
― Donna Kauffman , Starfish Moon (Brides of Blueberry Cove, #3)
109
" Kerry had headed up the back stairs of the pub, and even as exhausted as she was, she’d still found it impossible to wipe that image of Cooper from her mind. The sun setting over his back, highlighting the breadth of his shoulders, sending shadows under those cheekbones, made more chiseled by the ridiculously gorgeous, shit-eating grin that had been on his face when he made it clear he was in town to stay.
“For another twenty-nine days anyway.” Kerry pulled her pillow over her face and groaned. Part of her was still in utter shock that he was actually there, in her town. Hell, in her orbit at all. Other parts of her--most of them hormonally activated--were still all aquiver from that kiss. She groaned again and ground clenched fists into the mattress on either side of her hips. Damn, but that kiss…
How many times had she lain in bed, just like this, only in a bunkhouse at Cameroo Downs, and wondered what it would be like to be kissed by Cooper Jax? Okay, okay, a whole lot more than kissed. But damn…that kiss alone had been worlds better than the best sex she’d ever had. So much so, he’d probably ruined her for having sex with mere mortals.
So I guess you’ll just have to have sex with him, then.
“Not helpful,” she grunted at her little voice, jerking the pillow off her face and thumping it on the bed beside her. Besides, even if she was willing to have some kind of fling with Cooper, fulfill even a sliver of the many, oh, so very many fantasies she’d had about the man, he’d made it clear from pretty much the moment he’d set foot back into her world that he wasn’t looking for a fling. He’d strolled right in and made it clear he was looking for a--no.
She squeezed her eyes shut and tightened her lips, willing her mind to go blank.
It didn’t work. She couldn’t shut it out. Cooper Jax had, basically, proposed to her. Then he’d walked all up and down a kelp-covered, low-tide seashore and listened to her enumerate the reasons why they couldn’t even contemplate such a union. Right before kissing her in a way that defied science and made her wonder if she might need a pregnancy test, before pretty much declaring he was going to spend the next four weeks making it as impossible for her to say no to his doing that again, and maybe more, as he could. "
― Donna Kauffman , Starfish Moon (Brides of Blueberry Cove, #3)
110
" I’ll be honest and say I don’t know why she hasn’t told you about us, about her time with my family or on the station. I’m as surprised as you are. I believe it meant something to her. I know she mattered to all of us. Or I wouldn’t be here.”
“More than a year has passed,” Logan said, looking less judgmental now, and more like a man simply trying to get to the heart of the matter. “She’s talked to Fergus, it seems, which isn’t all that unusual, I guess.”
“I know they have a special bond, yes,” Cooper replied.
“But we didn’t know about that until now. And only because you’ve suddenly shown up talking marriage. A proposal she turned down flat, as witnessed by almost everyone in the Cove. And yet here you are. Still.”
Okay, so maybe he was still feeling a little judgmental. "
― Donna Kauffman , Starfish Moon (Brides of Blueberry Cove, #3)
111
" You say romantic, I say stalker,” Kerry grumbled to Fiona as they pushed their way into the Rusty Puffin.
“Please,” Fiona retorted, adding an eye roll for good measure. She was a master of those. “Mr. Dead Sexy From Down Under, a hardworking, successful man you greatly admired, with a family you apparently adored, flies halfway around the world to propose to you? Take a poll. That’s off-the-charts romantic.”
“Right,” Kerry said, turning toward her as the heavy door swung closed behind them. “And then I turned him down and he’s still here, hounding me. Stalker.”
“I hardly think asking you to lunch--a lunch you said yes to, by the way--then hiring a sailboat to take you out on the bay could be considered hounding, much less stalking. That’s still firmly in the romantic category. I mean, if you really meant no, I’m sure he’d be on the next plane back to Oz.”
Kerry stopped completely, fists on her hips now. “What makes you think I didn’t really mean no?”
“Well, for one, you’re awfully worked up over the guy. In that she-doth-protest-too-much kind of way. And secondly, Logan said Cooper told him you two had agreed on him staying the full month he’d taken off from the cattle station, to give you both time to figure out if there was something worth pursuing together.”
“He said that? To Logan?” At Fiona’s smug nod, Kerry’s eyebrows drew together. “What else did Cooper tell him? And how could you even know that? We left the docks together before Cooper came back. We didn’t talk to him again, or Logan.”
Fiona turned her phone around so the screen faced Kerry. “It’s called texting. Maybe they don’t have that in Tanzania or on deserted South Pacific atolls, but here in America, we--”
“Okay, okay,” Kerry said, waving her hands, still disgruntled. “It doesn’t matter. For the record, I said yes to lunch just to keep him from showing up every time my back is turned.” She sent a pointed look at her sister. “You know, like a stalker. I didn’t agree to an entire afternoon out on the bay with him.”
“You didn’t agree to that lollapalooza of a kiss either. But that happens and suddenly he’s not on the next plane home. Just saying, Ms. Protests Too Much.”
Kerry opened her mouth, then closed it again, then folded her arms across her chest. “I never should have told you about that.”
Fiona grinned. “I know. "
― Donna Kauffman , Starfish Moon (Brides of Blueberry Cove, #3)
112
" You say romantic, I say stalker,” Kerry grumbled to Fiona as they pushed their way into the Rusty Puffin.
“Please,” Fiona retorted, adding an eye roll for good measure. She was a master of those. “Mr. Dead Sexy From Down Under, a hardworking, successful man you greatly admired, with a family you apparently adored, flies halfway around the world to propose to you? Take a poll. That’s off-the-charts romantic. "
― Donna Kauffman , Starfish Moon (Brides of Blueberry Cove, #3)
113
" Cooper,” she said. “Cooper Jax.” As if saying his name would someone break the spell, vanquish the mirage she was still faintly hoping she was seeing. It didn’t. Instead it brought the mirage a few strides farther into the pub as folks moved to clear a path. “What are you doing here?” she asked as she moved forward until the two were standing no more than five yards apart, encircled by the completely hushed crowd. She wished she sounded strong, strident even. They were on her turf now, in her world. He was the interloper, the traveler. But her voice was hoarse even to her own ears, a mere rasp; her throat was too tight, too dry, too…everything, to manage anything more than that.
His smile was brief, a slash of white teeth framed by a hard jaw, but his gaze never wavered. “It’s been a year, Kerry. More than. And I’ve come to realize there’s a question I didn’t ask you before you left. One I should have. And I can’t seem to get on with life until I know the answer.”
She had no idea what on earth he was talking about. She’d worked his cattle station for a year, the longest she’d ever stayed in one place. She’d left to come home for Logan’s wedding. And, if she were honest, to save herself from having to decide when to leave. Because she’d come close to admitting that maybe she didn’t want to. And she never let herself want. At least not something that wasn’t in her power to get. Fear. Of losing.
If there was nothing to lose, there was nothing to fear.
“What might that be?” she asked, having to force the bravado that was normally second nature to her. From the corner of her eye, she caught Fergus, his gaze swiveling between the two of them…a broad grin on his face. Auld codger. To think she’d stayed for him. He was the only one who knew. The only one she’d confided in. Of course he was loving this.
Cooper walked closer and a murmur of unease swelled, but Fergus waved his good hand, like a silent benediction, approving of what was about to unfold, and they fell silent again.
Cooper’s gaze was locked exclusively on hers, and suddenly it was as if they were the only two people in the room. Everything else fell away, and she felt herself getting pulled in, swallowed up. That was always how he’d made her feel, as if she was this close to drowning…and that maybe she should stop trying so hard to keep her head above water.
He stopped a foot in front of her and she lifted her gaze--and her chin--to stay even with his.
“Before, when you were there, working, living alongside us, I thought if I gave you room, gave you space, you’d figure out that Cameroo Downs was where you belonged,” he said. "
― Donna Kauffman , Starfish Moon (Brides of Blueberry Cove, #3)
114
" I’m taking thirty to shower and give myself a full body lift. You’ll thank me later,” she parroted back to her sister.
“Says the sister who was born looking like an Olympian. Wah-wah.”
Kerry stood and stretched, stifling a groan as every muscle in her body protested. So much for the restorative powers of sleep. She grabbed her last fresh pair of khaki shorts, decided which of her already worn T-shirts was the least questionable, made a mental note to take her laundry basket with her when she left, then sighed as she caught sight of her restless night, wild-child hair once again in the mirror. If only Cooper could see your oh-so-sexy self now, she thought, he’d book the next flight out.
“Kerry?”
“Well,” she said, making a face at herself in the mirror, “if there was an Olympic even for bed head, I’d take the gold right now, no question. Even the Russian judge would have to cave and give me a ten.”
“I’d say give me a break, but come to think of it, I have seen you in the morning.”
“Bite me.”
“Oh, and because you brought it up,” Fiona added, her voice dripping with sugar once again, “make sure you book some extra time to tell us every last detail about your dead-sexy Aussie fiancé.”
“He’s not my--”
“Hurry!” Fiona interrupted as group laughter echoed through the phone from somewhere behind her; then she hung up.
Kerry looked at the dead phone, then tossed it on the bed, mumbling swear words in several languages under her breath. "
― Donna Kauffman , Starfish Moon (Brides of Blueberry Cove, #3)
115
" You say romantic, I say stalker,” Kerry grumbled to Fiona as they pushed their way into the Rusty Puffin.
“Please,” Fiona retorted, adding an eye roll for good measure. She was a master of those. “Mr. Dead Sexy From Down Under, a hardworking, successful man you greatly admired, with a family you apparently adored, flies halfway around the world to propose to you? Take a poll. That’s off-the-charts romantic.”
“Right,” Kerry said, turning toward her as the heavy door swung closed behind them. “And then I turned him down and he’s still here, hounding me. Stalker.”
“I hardly think asking you to lunch--a lunch you said yes to, by the way--then hiring a sailboat to take you out on the bay could be considered hounding, much less stalking. That’s still firmly in the romantic category. I mean, if you really meant no, I’m sure he’d be on the next plane back to Oz.”
Kerry stopped completely, fists on her hips now. “What makes you think I didn’t really mean no?”
“Well, for one, you’re awfully worked up over the guy. In that she-doth-protest-too-much kind of way. "
― Donna Kauffman , Starfish Moon (Brides of Blueberry Cove, #3)
116
" Cooper’s gaze was locked exclusively on hers, and suddenly it was as if they were the only two people in the room. Everything else fell away, and she felt herself getting pulled in, swallowed up. That was always how he’d made her feel, as if she was this close to drowning…and that maybe she should stop trying so hard to keep her head above water.
He stopped a foot in front of her and she lifted her gaze--and her chin--to stay even with his.
“Before, when you were there, working, living alongside us, I thought if I gave you room, gave you space, you’d figure out that Cameroo Downs was where you belonged,” he said.
His words, the rumble of his deep voice, that accent of his, held her as surely as if he’d put his hands on her. But then, that’s why you left, wasn’t it? So you wouldn’t risk finding out what would happen if he ever did put his hands on you.
“When you left,” he continued, “I told myself once you were gone, then you’d realize it--you’d have to--and you’d come back.”
She struggled to listen to his words, to take in their meaning, but they were so completely at odds with what she’d thought, back when she was working for him and every single day since. Thinking he’d been business only, that her thoughts, her fantasies, about him, about them, were hers alone--that was the only way she’d kept her sanity intact, kept her yearning from consuming her.
“But a full year has gone by. And you haven’t come back. Not so much as a word from you.”
“Cooper,” she said, the two syllables not much more than a broken whisper. She cleared her throat. “I never said--you knew I wasn’t coming back. You knew when I started that I wasn’t staying.”
“When you started, yeah,” he said, then moved another inch closer, and what little air she seemed to have pulled in deserted her just as swiftly. “But by the time you left…I thought…”
She let herself sink deeper and looked into his eyes. “You thought what?”
“It’s been a year,” he repeated, and for the first time, she saw something behind that bold, fierce, confident gaze of his, something she’d never seen before, though she couldn’t quite say what it was. “And I realize now that I should have asked then.”
“Asked me to stay?” she said, hating the tremulous waver in her voice, hating more that she wasn’t quite sure how she’d answer him if he asked now. “You could have just called.”
A titter went up in the crowd and was just as swiftly snuffed out by shushing sounds. It all barely registered wither.
“No, not that. I mean, yes, I wanted you to stay. But not as a jillaroo. Or not only as one.”
And then she realized what it was she saw. She would have recognized it right off if she’d let herself acknowledge that it was the same thing she’d seen in her own eyes. Fear.
What could Cooper Jax possibly be afraid of? Fear of wanting what he can’t have? Of losing what he wanted most? "
― Donna Kauffman , Starfish Moon (Brides of Blueberry Cove, #3)
119
" Cooper,” she said, the two syllables not much more than a broken whisper. She cleared her throat. “I never said--you knew I wasn’t coming back. You knew when I started that I wasn’t staying.”
“When you started, yeah,” he said, then moved another inch closer, and what little air she seemed to have pulled in deserted her just as swiftly. “But by the time you left…I thought…”
She let herself sink deeper and looked into his eyes. “You thought what?”
“It’s been a year,” he repeated, and for the first time, she saw something behind that bold, fierce, confident gaze of his, something she’d never seen before, though she couldn’t quite say what it was. “And I realize now that I should have asked then.”
“Asked me to stay?” she said, hating the tremulous waver in her voice, hating more that she wasn’t quite sure how she’d answer him if he asked now. “You could have just called.”
A titter went up in the crowd and was just as swiftly snuffed out by shushing sounds. It all barely registered wither.
“No, not that. I mean, yes, I wanted you to stay. But not as a jillaroo. Or not only as one.”
And then she realized what it was she saw. She would have recognized it right off if she’d let herself acknowledge that it was the same thing she’d seen in her own eyes. Fear.
What could Cooper Jax possibly be afraid of? Fear of wanting what he can’t have? Of losing what he wanted most? But that couldn’t be, because that would mean--
“I wanted you to stay, Kerry. As my wife.”
The crowd gasped as one, and she might have gasped with them.
“I’ve come all this way, Starfish, because I need to know. If I’d asked you then, if I’d pursued it, pursued you, would you ever have considered marrying me? "
― Donna Kauffman , Starfish Moon (Brides of Blueberry Cove, #3)
120
" And then she realized what it was she saw. She would have recognized it right off if she’d let herself acknowledge that it was the same thing she’d seen in her own eyes. Fear.
What could Cooper Jax possibly be afraid of? Fear of wanting what he can’t have? Of losing what he wanted most? But that couldn’t be, because that would mean--
“I wanted you to stay, Kerry. As my wife.”
The crowd gasped as one, and she might have gasped with them.
“I’ve come all this way, Starfish, because I need to know. If I’d asked you then, if I’d pursued it, pursued you, would you ever have considered marrying me? "
― Donna Kauffman , Starfish Moon (Brides of Blueberry Cove, #3)
