21
" That girl could make friends with the meanest croc alive with little more than a smile and a laugh. You, on the other hand, made her work for it.”
“Did you just compare me to a mean old croc?” Kerry asked, the thread of amusement back in her tone.
“If the tough hide fits,” he said, but not unkindly.
Kerry nodded, gave him a considering look. “True that,” she said. She picked her way over a tricky stretch of kelp-covered rock, then added, “Maybe I was trying to save her from her own friendly nature.” She looked back as Cooper hopped his way over the last pile, his heavy-booted feet sinking into a narrow stretch of sand before starting over the next rock bed. “I knew I was going to leave. You all did. No point in breaking hearts.” She held his gaze more directly now, turning back slightly to look at him full on. “I might be a tough old croc, but I’m not heartless.”
“I didn’t say--”
“You didn’t have to.” She opened her mouth, closed it again, then took in a slow, steadying breath, letting the deep salt tang tickle the back of her throat and the tart brine of the sea fill her senses. Anything to keep his scent from doing that instead. “As a rule, I don’t do good-byes well. I know that about myself. I also know that I have the attention span of a sand fly. A well-intentioned sand fly,” she added, trying to inject a bit of humor, mostly failing judging by the unwavering look in his eyes. “So, given my wanderlusting, gypsy life, I learned early on to keep things friendly and light. Easy, breezy. I’ve made friends all over the world, but none so close that--”
“That missing them causes a pang,” he added, “Here maybe,” he said, pointing at his own head. “But not here.” He pointed at her chest, more specifically at her heart.
This was how they were, how they’d been from the start. Finishing each other’s sentences, following each other’s train of thought, even when the exchange of words was a bare minimum. She glanced up into his steady gaze and thought, or when there’d been no words at all. That was why they’d worked so well together. And also why she’d had a tough time keeping her feelings for him strictly professional…She’d forgotten how threatening it felt, to have someone read her so easily. Most folks never look past the surface. Cooper--hell, the entire Jax family--hadn’t even blinked at surface Kerry before barreling right on past all of her well-honed, automatically erected barriers.
“Like I said,” she went on, “I don’t do good-byes well.” She continued walking down the beach then, knowing she was avoiding continued eye contact, but it was unnerving enough that he was here, in her personal orbit, in her world. Her home world. Wasn’t that invasive enough?
“Would a postcard or two have killed you?” he finally asked her retreating back. “Not for me; I never expected one.”
She didn’t glance back at that, but just as he knew her too well, she knew him the same way. She’d heard that little hint of disappointment, of long-held hope. Of course the very fact that he was there, on her beach, was proof enough that he’d had hopes where she was concerned. And in that moment, she thought, the hell with this, and stopped. Running halfway around the world apparently hadn’t been far enough to leave him and all of what had transpired between her and the entire Jax family behind. So why did she think she could escape it along the span of one low-tide beach? "
― Donna Kauffman , Starfish Moon (Brides of Blueberry Cove, #3)
22
" Where were you planning on heading next, then, if not Australia?” Fiona asked.
“Oh, I’ll just toss a dart at the map like I usually do,” Kerry said, as blithely as she could.
Fiona eyed her closely, as if checking her sincerity. “Well, whenever you do head back out--wherever and with whomever that might be--we’ll make sure Gus hires someone to help him with the pub. So, you know, don’t let that part affect your decision making or anything.”
“‘Wherever or with whomever’?” Kerry repeated with a roll of her eyes.
Fiona beamed sweetly again. “Just saying.”
“All kidding aside, I’m not the settling down type, Fi.” At the flash of real sadness Kerry saw flicker through her too-optimistic-for-her-own-good sister, she made a show of sliding Fiona’s arm out from where it had been looped through hers and dropping it as if she was suddenly contagious. “Don’t go trying to spread all your bride cooties on me,” she teased, hoping to shift them back to their more comfortable pattern of affectionately swapping insults, and far, far away from delving in to the fears and worries that were truly the reason behind her defensive attitude.
Kerry knew her family and extended family--hell, everyone in the Cove--only wanted what was best for her, wanted her to be happy. She just wanted the space and time to figure out what, exactly, that was going to be, all by herself. “Some of us aren’t meant for home and hearth. For white picket fences. Or silly cattle dogs and stone fire pits.”
It was only when Fiona’s gaze sharpened again that she realized she’d said that last part out loud. A knowing smile played at the corners of Fiona’s mouth and her eyes sparked right back to matchmaker life.
“Don’t,” Kerry warned.
“Whatever do you mean?” Fiona said with false innocence. “I hear what you’re saying. And I believe you. At least, I believe you believe you. "
― Donna Kauffman , Starfish Moon (Brides of Blueberry Cove, #3)
24
" Well, look who’s back from her sailing date looking all windblown and smug. Big day on the high seas?”
Kerry knew she’d have to deal with a lot of this kind of flak but didn’t really want to start the ordeal with Hardy. Although, she thought, maybe it was better to get this dealt with up front. He’d said it smoothly enough, and seemed to be simply razzing her, with no other agenda in his eyes, but she treated him as if there was, just in case. “Oh, Hardy, you say the nicest things,” she teased right back. “It was a lovely day for a sail,” she added, then smiled brightly and, as it happened, quite sincerely. “Thanks for asking. "
― Donna Kauffman , Starfish Moon (Brides of Blueberry Cove, #3)
25
" Well, that might be fine for the lot of you,” Kerry broke in, “but given you’re siding with Mr. Wingman here, it hardly does me any good. What happened to the whole sisterhood thing? And this after I came to you, hat in hand--”
“You were dragged in,” Fiona reminded her. “Laundry basket in hand. Then we had to all but sit on you to squeeze the details out of you. If you want us to be all supportive and on your side, then, you know, you have to actually give us something to side with. So far, all we’ve heard is how you didn’t know how he felt, and then he sent your entire world spinning off its axis with that--”
“Fiona--” Kerry said, clear warning in her tone.
But it was too late. Logan had walked back to the group and was just saying he had a sailboat lined up and did they want a captain or were they going to sail it themselves, when he overheard the last bit of Fiona’s statement and paused. He turned to look at Kerry, then perhaps a tad more menacingly at Cooper. “With that…what?”
Before Cooper could remind him about their recently established wingman/bro code status, Logan’s wife slid past him and hooked her arm through her husband’s and tipped up on her toes to kiss him on the cheek. “Remember our first kiss?” She gave him a meaningful look to go with what was clearly a very private smile. “So I really don’t think you want to go there. Do you?”
Logan cleared his throat. “Right, so…as you were,” he finally said. “I’ve got to get back to the station. Keep the mean streets of Blueberry Cove safe.”
“Coward!” Kerry called after his retreating back.
“See?” Delia said. “We have our ways.”
“Except you’re supporting the wrong side,” Kerry said.
“Oh, that all depends on how you define ‘sides,’” Grace put in. “We’re on the side of love.” She drew out that last word, making it sound almost like a coo, with Fiona joining her, both of them adding an exaggerated batting of lashes, aimed first at Kerry, then at Cooper. Fiona added a little heart made by steepling her fingers together.
Logan looked back over his shoulder. He was grinning now. “If you know what’s good for you, you’ll head back to the airport right now,” he called to Cooper.
Cooper lifted his hand in a wave. “No worries, mate. "
― Donna Kauffman , Starfish Moon (Brides of Blueberry Cove, #3)
26
" Did you ever think maybe you’d just stay, ride it out, see what happened? Was that an option for you?” He didn’t ask defensively, though it took a bit to keep the edge from his voice. He was all but grilling her so he couldn’t go and get upset if he didn’t like the answers he got. But he was human, and this wasn’t any easier on him than it was on her.
“It might have been.”
“If?”
He heard her take a steadying breath and felt himself bracing for her response. “If I’d felt about you the way I felt about the rest of your family. Like you were a brother or something.”
“But?”
“Looking for a little ego stroke?” She swatted at him then, tried for a playful laugh, but the serious undertone remained. “But I had feelings for you. Well, lust and feelings. We had a friendship, then I had lust. And I really didn’t think, even if you were interested in me, that was something you’d pursue, given your position as employer and me being temporary. So…I don’t know…”
“But when you came back here to Maine you didn’t head out again.”
“I didn’t go back to Australia either,” she reminded him. When he didn’t say anything for some time, she said, “What are you thinking? I’ve been pretty frank so go ahead, be honest with me.”
“Okay,” he said. “I guess I can’t help but think that you didn’t head back out on the road, you didn’t come back to Australia either--but you also didn’t write, keep in touch. And not because you were out in the jungle somewhere, unable to drop a postcard in the mail. You were right here, with all the modern technological conveniences at your fingertips. But you didn’t send a single e-mail. Not even to Sadie. And I can’t help but think that maybe that means we were all a lot more important to you than you wanted to admit or keeping in touch, at least with her, would have been no big deal. You also haven’t even mentioned us to anyone here, as far as I know, other than your uncle. Which, given how long you stayed and how much we’d come to mean to you, seems odd to me, too. So…maybe the only way you thought you could get over us was to put us firmly in your rearview mirror. Only then…you never started looking ahead again either.”
She said nothing, and a quick glance showed she was staring out the side window of the car, her hands in her lap, fingers twisting and untwisting.
“Or maybe we really were easily left in the past, and the change in you is more because you got home and your entire family was living here, all together, for the first time in your adult life,” he said, giving her an out. “And it makes you want to stay, even though you don’t know what, precisely, you want to do here yourself.”
He paused, then said the rest of what he was thinking, what he was feeling. “And maybe you stay because it’s the closest thing you can have to what you had started building with us, and remain safe while having it. "
― Donna Kauffman , Starfish Moon (Brides of Blueberry Cove, #3)
27
" I got waylaid by another of your throng of supporters and well-wishers so you only have yourself to blame.”
“So I heard,” he said. “I’ll be sure to thank her later and tip double the usual when we order breakfast in tomorrow morning.”
“Awfully sure of yourself, mister.”
“Finish climbing that ladder and I’ll be happy to explain the source of my confidence.” He wiggled his eyebrows. “Or, better yet, I’ll show you.”
“Well, if I’d known there was going to be show and tell, I’d have gotten up here sooner.” She finished her climb and took hold of Cooper’s hand as he levered himself off the balcony deck and pulled her all but bodily up through the trapdoor and into his arms. “My, my,” she said, as he hauled her up against him, feet dangling off the floor, and held her there as he walked her into the room, using his elbow to hit the button to close the screens and turn them opaque. “The invitation didn’t say clothing optional,” she said, running her sandaled feet up the back of his bare legs. Which matched the rest of him. She let out a little laugh as he tossed her gently on the bed.
“That’s because I wanted to peel your clothes off you,” he said, following her down.
“Well,” she said, stretching her arms up over her head, “if you must. "
― Donna Kauffman , Starfish Moon (Brides of Blueberry Cove, #3)
28
" We have our ways.”
“Except you’re supporting the wrong side,” Kerry said.
“Oh, that all depends on how you define ‘sides,’” Grace put in. “We’re on the side of love.” She drew out that last word, making it sound almost like a coo, with Fiona joining her, both of them adding an exaggerated batting of lashes, aimed first at Kerry, then at Cooper. Fiona added a little heart made by steepling her fingers together.
Logan looked back over his shoulder. He was grinning now. “If you know what’s good for you, you’ll head back to the airport right now,” he called to Cooper.
Cooper lifted his hand in a wave. “No worries, mate.” He glanced at the group of openly speculating women, then at Kerry, who was shooting emerald green daggers his way, and thought ummm…“On second thought,” he shouted. “Hold on, I’ll join you!” He trotted after Logan, then turned so he was facing the women as he continued jogging backward. “Just getting the boat rental details, luv,” he called back to Kerry. “Back in a jiff.” He blew Kerry a kiss, then added a wink, chuckling when Fiona grabbed Kerry’s arm as she swung it upward in a gesture he seriously doubted was going to be a wave.
He knew she was feeling shoved along a path she hadn’t yet decided she wanted to take and he might have been more concerned about her prickly attitude except for one thing. Sent her world spinning off its axis, had I? Well, all righty, then. As shaky starts went, he’d keep his focus on that little nugget of truth and build from there.
Whistling a jaunty tune, he turned back and set off to catch up with Logan. "
― Donna Kauffman , Starfish Moon (Brides of Blueberry Cove, #3)
30
" Make mine water, with a lemon.” She looked at Maddy. “I have a wedding dress to squeeze into.”
Kerry rolled her eyes. “Don’t you dare say anything that has the word bride, bridal, wedding, or--God help us--dress, in her general direction. In fact, you can add cake, announcements, seating charts--”
Maddy laughed as Fiona sat straighter, her face lighting up as she said, “Oh, seating charts! Right! With all that happened on the dock, I almost forgot to ask. With Cooper staying on, I’d like to invite him to the wedding. So we’ll need to reconfigure a few things.”
Kerry didn’t even want to begin to contemplate what it would be like to watch her sister say her I dos, then smash wedding cake all over the face of her ridiculously handsome and adorable groom, all with Cooper and his marriage proposal seated anywhere in the same room with her. No. Uh-uh. “See what I mean?” she said sweetly to Maddy before sliding her sister’s lemon water in front of her. "
― Donna Kauffman , Starfish Moon (Brides of Blueberry Cove, #3)
32
" She got the anchor going, keeping her hands busy and her mind off a naked Cooper in the tiny shower cubicle below. Or you could just get over yourself and go after what you want.
“God, just shut up already,” she snapped.
“I beg your pardon?”
She turned from her spot at the helm, where she’d been white-knuckling the steering wheel, to find a freshly showered, damp-haired, and once again clothed Cooper. His shorts were also damp where he’d washed off the shortcake bits, but she didn’t let her gaze linger there.
“Just muttering to myself,” she said.
He nodded, accepting her explanation. "
― Donna Kauffman , Starfish Moon (Brides of Blueberry Cove, #3)
33
" So what’s the lowdown on the new hire?” he wanted to know.
Ah. All became instantly clear. Hardy had moved on to new prey. And while that was a yay for Kerry, it was a boo for poor Maddy. She’d have to warn her. “You mean Madison? Sorry, Hardy, she’s taken. Happily engaged to Sal’s nephew, Micah.”
“Engaged isn’t taken; it only means she’s been reserved,” he said, a cocky grin spreading on his face as he glanced over the heads of the crowd to where Maddy was tending bar. “Reservations can get canceled.”
“Hardy--”
But he wasn’t listening to her. He’d been called back to his table by his buddies to take his turn.
“Oh, boy,” she muttered and wound her way back to the bar. She ducked under the bar and worked her way back down until she was beside Maddy again. “Warning,” she said, keeping her voice as low as she could. “Mr. Tall, Dark, and Cocky at the back pool table? You might want to keep an eye there. I told him you were engaged--”
“Don’t worry. We’ve already had a chat.”
“Well, you may be having another one, as he doesn’t seem all that put off.”
“I’ll be fine, but thanks for running interference.”
“He seems well meaning enough,” Kerry told her, “but he’s not the sharpest tool when it comes to the word no. You’ll have to say it repeatedly for it to sink in.”
Maddy nodded while setting bowls on the bar, then filling them with pretzels and nuts. “Have I mentioned that I grew up working in my much older brother’s dojo? "
― Donna Kauffman , Starfish Moon (Brides of Blueberry Cove, #3)
36
" Maybe there is a way to have it all,” he said, lowering his head to hers. “If you want me, Starfish, we’ll find that way.”
“I do,” she said, the sudden prickle of tears surprising her, but it was such a huge rush finally to admit it, to tell him. To tell herself. “But--”
“No buts,” he said, kissing the damp from the corner of one eye, then the other. “We’ll sort it out,” he said. “It’s what we do for the people we love.”
If she hadn’t already been certain her heart had tipped his way, it was definitely in free fall now. She reached up, stroked his face. “What have I done to deserve you?” she asked, quite serious. “Why me?”
“Because you’re made for me,” he replied. “I knew it from the moment I met you.” He leaned in, kissed the side of her jaw. “It’s not about earning or deserving. Everyone deserves to be loved.” He lifted his head, and the intensity of his gaze was matched by the slow slide of his beautiful, cocky, sexy-as-hell grin. “We just have to be smart enough to recognize our perfect match when we find it.”
Her smile matched his, her heart bumping hard inside her chest. “Are you calling me a dummy?”
“Not at all. I’m just saying that maybe some of us caught on a bit faster than others.”
She tried to hook his ankle and roll him to his back but he was on to that move.
“Now, now, my little pirate wench, the only one with a hook is me.” He rolled fully on top of her, then, bracing his weight even as he nudged her thighs apart.
“My, my,” she teased, her heart full to bursting, “what a big…sword you have.”
“All the better to pillage you with,” he murmured, lowering his head again.
“I should tell you one more thing,” she whispered, making him lift his head a bit, an eyebrow raised in question. “I’m protected. Makes traveling easier when you know what will be happening when,” she explained. “So if you’re okay with, uh, keeping your sword there unsheathed, I’m okay with--”
“Oh, aye, I’m very okay,” he said, eyes gleaming that much more brightly.
“Good,” she sighed, then tipped her head back and arched up into him. “Please feel free to pillage away. "
― Donna Kauffman , Starfish Moon (Brides of Blueberry Cove, #3)
37
" Have I mentioned that I grew up working in my much older brother’s dojo?”
“Dojo?” Kerry repeated. “As in karate? Judo?”
“Tae kwon do,” Maddy said. She shot a knowing grin Kerry’s way.
“Ah,” Kerry said, understanding dawning. “And what color would your belt be, jongyeonghaneun yeosong?”
Maddy laughed. “I don’t know if I’m an honorable woman,” she said, surprising Kerry by understanding her very rough Korean. “But my belt, it is black.” Maddy sketched a quick martial arts bow, making both women laugh. They glanced toward the back of the bar at the same time, only to find a grinning Hardy looking their way.
“See? He’s the guy who assumes women are always talking about him,” Kerry said.
“Well, we are,” Maddy replied. “He can’t know we’re discussing how best to dismantle his manhood if he so much as thinks about laying a finger on me.” She said all this with a serene smile.
Hardy lifted his beer in a salute, presumably to Maddy, before downing the rest in a single gulp, as if beer consumption somehow proved his manly man prowess.
“Poor Hardy,” Kerry said with a mock sigh. “But then, he never did seem big on wanting to have children. Just ask his ex-wife.” She ducked her chin as both women shared another laugh before continuing with their work.
After that, the rest of the night didn’t seem all that arduous. Maddy was happy to return Kerry’s wingman favor, and between the two of them, they managed to distract, deflect, or defend much of the ribbing being thrown Kerry’s way and actually had a much better time doing it than Kerry would have imagined. "
― Donna Kauffman , Starfish Moon (Brides of Blueberry Cove, #3)
39
" There’s something here,” he said, searching her gaze. “Something beneath all the pheromones dancing about whenever we’re within reaching distance of each other. Something beyond this…this crazy hunger.”
“I know,” she said in a hushed whisper, the words barely reaching his ears over the sound of the wind and the snap of the sails.
He leaned his head down until his forehead brushed hers. “I want both,” he said. “The friendship and the hunger.”
Her eyes were luminous pools of the deepest sea green as she looked into his, and he thought he could fall into them and never surface again and die a happy man. “Explore them with me,” he said, “and let’s see where it leads. That’s all I’m asking. "
― Donna Kauffman , Starfish Moon (Brides of Blueberry Cove, #3)