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1 " She let out a laugh that would've caused me to wet my shorts -- had I been wearing any. A contemptuous, sneer of a laugh -- like the hiss of a rattlesnake. "
― Quentin R. Bufogle , KING OF THE NEW YORK STREETS
2 " I used to feel the need to argue with every mouth breather and dimwit until one day it dawned on me that when it was all said and done, my blood pressure would be up 20 points and the person I was arguing with would still be fucking stupid. "
3 " I could live with failure. I had and would. But ORDINARY? Not a fucking chance. "
4 " Ask for my trust before it's been earned and you've already lost it. "
5 " If you need anti-tank guns, bazookas or semi-automatic weapons to defend yourself, it's time to think about moving to a better neighborhood. "
6 " What's with all these boner pill commercials urging men to ask their doctors if they're healthy enough for sex?? Unless my unit is in a jar of formaldehyde, I'm good to go. "
7 " The real pandemic in America isn't Covid-19. It's stupidity. And unfortunately, it's incurable. "
8 " I'm so antisocial, that whenever I have sex with a woman, I close my eyes and pretend I'm masturbating. "
9 " That thing we'd been searching for: nameless, faceless, shapeless as quicksilver -- it never existed. It was a mirage. We were chasing a ghost and we knew it. There was no destination, just the journey; just the moment. It was all about the kick of the ride. You stomp on that damn accelerator and hold on for dear life. All you can ever hope for is one wild, drunken, kick-ass, mother-humper-of-a-ride. And it was. "
10 " SHE WAS A KNOCKOUT. A stoned fox. I’d never seen her before. Not one of the cutesy Irish Barbie Dolls I normally fell for, this was something of a different class altogether. No disco glam or sparkles or fashionably trashy stripper chic. No make-up or slutty, revealing outfit. No desperate, tits-in-your-face “notice me” B.S. This was something pure and earthy -- fresh as newly cut grass. The smoking-hot girl next door, but yet completely of another world and time. A true classic. "
11 " I DROPPED A QUARTER ON THE TABLE JUST AS SHE PUT THE EIGHT BALL IN THE CORNER POCKET ...Perfect timing. Damn. She wasn’t just cute – she was crazy cute. Those eyes. The biggest, greenest eyes I’d ever stared into. Like the kids in those paintings they sold in the department stores. She had the delicate, finely cut features of every Irish girl I’d ever had a crush on in grammar school. She was blonde, though not really trying; hair cut casually just above her shoulders in way that seemed to say 'who really gives a fuck?' Perfect. And one more thing: that ass. I was definitely an ass man and hers should’ve been mounted on a wall in the Louvre. Not exactly heart-shaped, it filled those jeans in a way that would allow you to read the date on a nickle wedged inside her back pocket. "
12 " What an evil sonofabitch God must truly be. To create such cruel beauty and allow it to run blithely through the world of adolescent males – stomping huge, divot-size holes in my poor, tissue paper-thin heart. "
13 " Though they're my currency, words are often a frustratingly inadequate tool; language a hopelessly flawed instrument. Some things can never truly be articulated. "