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Don't Point that Thing at Me (Charlie Mortdecai #1) QUOTES

Don't Point that Thing at Me (Charlie Mortdecai #1) QUOTES

1 " Some of my best friends are women,' I snapped, 'though I certainly wouldn't want my daughter to marry one of them. "

― Kyril Bonfiglioli , Don't Point that Thing at Me (Charlie Mortdecai #1)

2 " There’s nothing like gunfire to drive the glamour from words. "

― Kyril Bonfiglioli , Don't Point that Thing at Me (Charlie Mortdecai #1)

3 " she looked about as hard to get as a haircut and at about the same price. "

― Kyril Bonfiglioli , Don't Point that Thing at Me (Charlie Mortdecai #1)

4 " I never drink alcohol. I do not like to blunt my senses.’ ‘Goodness,’ I babbled, ‘but how awful for you. Not drinking, I mean. I mean, imagine getting up in the morning knowing that you’re not going to feel any better all day. "

― Kyril Bonfiglioli , Don't Point that Thing at Me (Charlie Mortdecai #1)

5 " How sharper than a serpent's tooth is an awakening without tea! "

― Kyril Bonfiglioli , Don't Point that Thing at Me (Charlie Mortdecai #1)

6 " My flight was announced by Donald Duck noises from a loudspeaker; I arose and shuffled off towards the statistical improbability of dying in an airplane crash. Personally, the thought of such a death appalls me little – what civilized man would not rather die like Icarus than be mangled to death on a Motorway by a Ford Popular? "

― Kyril Bonfiglioli , Don't Point that Thing at Me (Charlie Mortdecai #1)

7 " Karl Popper urges us to be constantly on our guard against the fashionable disease of our time: the assumption that things cannot be taken at their face value, that an apparent syllogism must be the rationale of an irrational motive, that a human avowal must conceal some self-seeking baseness. (Freud assures us that Leonardo’s John the Baptist is a homosexual symbol, his upward-pointing index finger seeking to penetrate the fundament of the universe; art historians know that it is a centuries-old cliché of Christian iconography.) "

― Kyril Bonfiglioli , Don't Point that Thing at Me (Charlie Mortdecai #1)

8 " Destroying the painting was out of the question: my soul is all stained and shagged with sin like a cigarette smoker’s moustache but I am quite incapable of destroying works of art. Steal them, yes, cheerfully, it is a mark of respect and love, but destroy them, never. "

― Kyril Bonfiglioli , Don't Point that Thing at Me (Charlie Mortdecai #1)

9 " she looked about as hard to get as a haircut and at about the same "

― Kyril Bonfiglioli , Don't Point that Thing at Me (Charlie Mortdecai #1)

10 " toward the end she was she was wearing nothing but seven beads, four of them sweat "

― Kyril Bonfiglioli , Don't Point that Thing at Me (Charlie Mortdecai #1)

11 " these people believe that they are the doctors of society, whereas in fact they are only the disease. "

― Kyril Bonfiglioli , Don't Point that Thing at Me (Charlie Mortdecai #1)

12 " Sleep is not, with me, a mere switching off: it is a very positive pleasure to be supped and savoured with expertise. It was a good night; sleep pampered me like a familiar, salty mistress who yet always has a new delight with which to surprise her jaded lover. "

― Kyril Bonfiglioli , Don't Point that Thing at Me (Charlie Mortdecai #1)

13 " Martland has only two personalities – Wilde and Eeyore. "

― Kyril Bonfiglioli , Don't Point that Thing at Me (Charlie Mortdecai #1)

14 " Have you ever been a member of the Communist or Anarchist parties, Mr Mortdecai?’ ‘Good Lord no!’ I cried gaily, ‘filthy capitalist, me. Grind the workers’ faces, I say.’ ‘When you were at school?’ he prompted gently. ‘Oh. Well, yes, I think I did take the Red side in the debating society at school once or twice. But in the Lower Sixth we all got either religion or Communism – it goes with acne you know. Vanishes as soon as you have proper sexual intercourse. "

― Kyril Bonfiglioli , Don't Point that Thing at Me (Charlie Mortdecai #1)

15 " We know that death is the only end of art. A chap who has gone to all the trouble of strangling his wife is entitled to his moment of splendour on the gallows – it is a crime to make him sew mailbags like a common thief. "

― Kyril Bonfiglioli , Don't Point that Thing at Me (Charlie Mortdecai #1)

16 " When depressed, go and find someone to salute you. "

― Kyril Bonfiglioli , Don't Point that Thing at Me (Charlie Mortdecai #1)