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1 " It’s like bracing myself for a fall one second too late. I can’t save myself now. I’ve walked into my killer’s lair. "
― Natalie D. Richards , One Was Lost
2 " It feels perfect, all of it, and that's how I know it's wrong. "
3 " I’m not sure how wringing out my bra or dying of hypothermia will build character, but I nod automatically. "
4 " Pain spreads up from my middle, squeezing tight in my chest. I think that's my heart. But hearts lie. "
5 " No rain now, but the river is a swollen artery, pumping mud-brown water and chunks of debris through the forest valley. "
6 " My face has brought me nothing but trouble. "
7 " Outside, dawn is finally breaking in full, turning everting pink-yellow happy and burning the mist from the sky. "
8 " He blurs my world. "
9 " Lies are apart of the game I play with Lucas, and my heart told the prettiest ones of all. "
10 " Can you please give me back the hammer?’ I ask again, voice sweet but glare dialed up to murderous.‘Your loss.’ He shrugs and drops the rubber mallet on my pile of soggy tent fabric. I valiantly resist the urge to pick it up and fling it at his head. "
11 " What is that?’ I ask. Sticks and blood? What kind of arts and craft from hell is this? "
12 " This isn’t going to hurt anyone. But then he smiles, and I’m not so sure. "
13 " Lucas coughs or laughs – I honestly can’t tell which. ‘Can we maybe set aside this group therapy moment or discuss whether or not our teacher is trying to kill us? "
14 " How do you say this? There is no way that feels right, and the boys are looking at their feet. What the hell? Does explaining things default to me because I have ovaries? "
15 " Lucas closes his eyes. ‘I never gave a shit what the rest of them thought, but when my parents decided I was a danger? Screw it, you know? If everyone’s determined to be afraid of me anyway...’ ‘That’s when you decided to fight back,’ I guess. ‘Maybe. Or maybe I decided I believed them too. "
16 " Pain spread s up from my middle, squeezing tight in my chest. I think that’s my heart. But hearts lie. "
17 " ...a symphony of screaming that cuts my soul to pieces. "